Backlash Part 1

Chapter 15: The Infirmary

The first spoonful of soup slid across Wei Wuxian's tongue and he suddenly felt overwhelmed. The taste and fragrance flooded his senses and carried with it the many times Jiang Yanli had made it for him before. It finally seemed real that she was alive. Even though he had seen her, spoken with her, and touched her. Part of him hadn't quite accepted it was real. Her death had haunted his dreams, when he could manage to close his eyes, for three months. The feel of her pushing him away. The spray of blood when the cultivator's sword cut through her frail body instead of his. Her image. Her touch. Her voice. All of those things appeared in his nightmares over and over. Even though his interactions with her now were nothing like his nightmares, there was still the lingering fear.

Her Lotus Root and Pork Rib soup was something that had been special to him ever since he came to the YunmengJiang sect. Wei Wuxian often didn't eat enough. He was afraid of being a burden. Afraid that if he was too inconvenient or too expensive they would throw him away. Jiang Yanli was the one who noticed he didn't eat very much and worried about it. When she asked him about it he lied and said he was full. He thought he had been very convincing, but he later realized that wasn't the case.

Jiang Yanli started making food for him. She'd say she wanted his opinion on it so he would eat it thinking that he was being helpful. Sometimes she'd deliberately cook one of his favorite dishes for with the family meal. She'd ask him to eat some and make sure to tell her how it was. Whenever it was one of his favorites he had a hard time stopping after only eating a little bit. The dish that she made the most often was her Lotus Root and Pork Rib soup.  Even if she didn't happen to cook that day she would do other things to encourage him to eat. Whenever she peeled lotus seeds for him he would eat them all, not wanting to be ungrateful.

Any day that he hadn't eaten as much at meals. Whenever he had a bad day. No matter how much he smiled and pretended he was fine, she would still somehow know. Even though he wouldn't admit to being upset, she would give him that knowing look and she'd bring him some of his favorite soup. Wei Wuxian had been grateful for having a place to live, clothes to wear, food to eat. But Jiang Yanli was the one who made him feel like he had a family. That was probably why this soup was so special to him. To him it represented that someone had noticed him. Someone wanted to take care of him. Jiang Yanli had wanted to take care of him.

Even when Wei Wuxian got better about eating his fill at meals, he never really escaped the bad habit of forgetting them from time to time. It wasn't a deliberate decision. It was just that sometimes he would be too focused on other things and his body just forgot to tell him to eat. When this happened Jiang Yanli would bring him food between meals or would make sure he ate more at the next meal. This habit only got worse after the Burial Mounds. Wen Qing had occasionally physically dragged him away from what he was working on to make him eat. Of course none of them had enough food at that time really. That didn't stop Wen Qing from being livid when she caught him giving his portion to Wen Yuan though.

Wei Wuxian leaned against Lan Wangji when he finished eating. Seeing Jiang Yanli and talking to her. His body had been flung through one emotion after another. Guilt. Grief. Fear. Panic. Shame. Hope. Relief. And a very tentative joy. He felt drained. He was used to feeling tired all the time. It wasn't like he often slept well in the last few years. Most of the time even if he managed to sleep his nightmares would barrage him incessantly. He'd wake up still feeling exhausted. It sort of felt like he shouldn't feel so tired now. Other than some issues with the schedule he didn't recall having major sleep problems when studying at Cloud Recesses.

Lan Wangji noticed Wei Wuxian leaning more heavily against him. He shifted slightly to wrap his arm around Wei Wuxian allowing him to lean more comfortably against his chest. He watched Wei Wuxian's eyes close heavily. Wei Wuxian shifted slightly, seeming to try and snuggle closer against Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji felt his heartbeat quicken at the sight. The movement was adorably sweet. Seeing Wei Wuxian again seek contact with him. Again appear so calm and trusting in his arms. It made Lan Wangji's chest swell with warmth.

The soft sounds of empty dishes being collected drew Lan Wangji's attention. Jiang Yanli very quietly packed everything away before she stopped to look at Wei Wuxian. She had a soft smile on her face and her gaze was warm.

"I'm glad you two found each other," Jiang Yanli said softly. Lan Wangji was a bit surprised that she was so direct, but he supposed they had not been subtle in their interactions. "I can't express how happy I am to see you caring for him. A-Xian often tries to be there for everyone else. Never wanting to ask help from others. I'm glad he seems to be willing to rely on you." Lan Wangji wasn't really certain how to respond to her. He quietly nodded his head in acknowledgement and she seemed satisfied with this. She paused for a moment as though she had just thought of something troubling.

"I will talk to A-Cheng. He..." She paused part way through her sentence as though considering what she was going to say. She shook her head as though dismissing something. "I will talk to him." She stood and excused herself before leaving. Wen Qing was frowning slightly as Jiang Yanli left. Wen Qing looked up at him and her expression looked slightly troubled.

Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow in question. Now Wen Qing seemed to be carefully considering her words. Her gaze turned to Wei Wuxian.

"Is he asleep or just pretending as an excuse to cuddle and not talk?" Wen Qing asked. Lan Wangji was slightly taken aback. That was an option? Lan Wangji glanced down at the sweet figure. Oddly the idea that Wei Wuxian's adorably affectionate behavior might have been a deliberate decision. Something he did to seek affection and closeness rather than his unconscious behavior when sleeping or exhausted. Lan Wangji felt his face heat. Both options were too adorable for words.

"Try gently waking him up." Wen Qing asked. Lan Wangji frowned at her. Just yesterday she had been very menacing in her insistence that no one wake Wei Wuxian. Now she was telling Lan Wangji to wake him? She nodded her head towards Wei Wuxian. Her expression was clear. She meant what she said. Lan Wangji's frown deepened, but he complied.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji prompted. No response. He looked at Wen Qing and she made a motion with her hand indicating he should continue to try.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji said again. This time he also shook Wei Wuxian very gently. A small sound of complaint came from Wei Wuxian as his face scrunched into an adorable pout. He shifted while letting out several dissatisfied groans. He managed to squirm all the way into Lan Wangji's lap without ever opening his eyes. He continued making quiet unhappy sounds until he finally found a position he seemed satisfied with. Curled in Lan Wangji's lap his face nuzzled into the fabric of Lan Wangji's robes until it was completely hidden from view. Only then did he let out a small contented sigh and fall quiet once more. Lan Wangji wrapped his arms securely around the sleeping figure. He decided he did not care if she asked him to try again. He was perfectly happy with this arrangement. He looked up at Wen Qing and found her expression eased slightly.

"Really sleeping then," she said lightly. She seemed happy with that and Lan Wangji found himself unusually curious. Was there something she wanted to say, but did not want Wei Wuxian to hear? Wen Qing let out a sigh before looking at Lan Wangji with a serious expression.

"I don't like Jiang Wanyin." She said flatly. "I suspect Jiang Yanli had been about to say something about why he acts the way he does, but to be frank I have a hard time caring about that. I'm glad for what she said to A-Ying today, and glad that she is apparently going to try talking to Jiang Wanyin. Although I am not sure what she plans to talk to him about, there isn't exactly a shortage of topics." Wen Qing sighed then looked at Lan Wangji again. Her gaze was more concerned this time. "What happened with Jiang Wanyin this morning before I came in?" Wen Qing asked.