Chapter 39: The Jingshi

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Wei Wuxian was curled comfortably, as much of him in Lan Wangji's lap as he could manage. Wei Wuxian decided this was his new favourite place, in Lan Wangji's arms. Lan Wangji was gently combing his fingers through Wei Wuxian's hair. Every time Lan Wangji's fingertips lightly scraped his scalp, Wei Wuxian hummed. He couldn't get enough of this feeling. He was soaking in the gentle soothing touch, and he never wanted it to stop. Lan Wangji's arm around him felt so protective. The embrace was warm. The smell of sandalwood flooded his senses. Wei Wuxian needed this. He needed this feeling of being cared for. The feeling of being protected.

So much of his life he was doing the protecting. Always protecting. Protecting Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli from Madam Yu's anger. Protecting the disciples from Madam Yu's anger. Protecting his friends from being caught breaking the rules. Protecting the other disciples on night hunts. Serving as a distraction so others could escape. Accepting blame so others would be spared. Accepting shame so others would be spared from guilt. Doing things he never wanted to do and seeing things he never wanted to see, just so no one else would have to do it. Always doing his best. Always trying his hardest to do the right thing, no matter the consequence. When he did find people who wanted to protect him, they couldn't do it. Even now the anxiety hadn't truly left. There was a part of him that could not relax even if that part was much smaller than usual.

The tips of Lan Wangji's fingers lightly brushed against the back of Wei Wuxian's neck sending a wonderful shiver down his spine. He shifted into the touch, wanting more of the strange pleasant feeling. A knock on the door caused Wei Wuxian to stiffen in Lan Wangji's arms. The quiet little anxiety was loud and strangling.

'What if Madam Yu was back? What if they refused to let me court Lan Wangji? What if they're taking me back to Lotus Pier early again? I know I need to go back eventually. I have to protect Jiang Cheng when Lotus Pier is attacked, but that is still months away. I won't be able to see Lan Zhan or Jiejie for such a long time if I go back right now. I don't want to leave them yet. Please... Please don't make me leave them yet.'

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji's voice startled Wei Wuxian out of his thoughts. Wei Wuxian's eyes focused on Lan Wangji's face. He could see the icy gold eyes filled with concern. Lan Wangji pulled Wei Wuxian into a tighter embrace.

"L-Lan Zhan..." Wei Wuxian began, but quickly realized he didn't know what to say.

"Wei Ying is safe." Lan Wangji whispered soothingly into Wei Wuxian's hair. There was a second knock. Wei Wuxian whimpered involuntarily as he thought of thousands of scenarios that could follow.

"Lan Wangji? May I come in to check on A-Ying?" Wei Wuxian raised his head when he heard the voice on the other side of the door.

"Jiejie." He half whined. The door slid open gently as Wen Qing entered. She closed it behind her smoothly then turned to the two seated on the bed. Wei Wuxian adjusted his position so he was sitting up more or less properly. Properly, if that included something you could do while sitting in someoneelse's lap. Wen Qing smiled lightly, but her eyes were tired and full of concern.

"A-Ying, how are you doing?" Wen Qing asked gently. Wei Wuxian fidgeted slightly.

"I'm alright." Wei Wuxian mumbled. He internally winced when he saw Wen Qing arch an eyebrow at him.

"A-Ying. Tell me how you are actually doing." She scolded gently. Wei Wuxian's expression fell a bit. He nodded his head wordlessly before taking in a deep breath to prepare himself. He had been working on this. He needed to work on this. For many reasons, but the one most important to him...

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