Backlash Part 1

Chapter 176: Sensitive Subject

Jiang Yanli spent the rest of the evening with them. A woman who introduced herself as San-yi stopped by. She checked over Wen Yuan, and Jiang Yanli got a glimpse of the healing bruises on the toddler's body. Jiang Yanli was stunned. She had held him and never realized such bruises were concealed beneath his clothes.

Wen Nuan also got checked over. San-yi applied ointment to the bruise on Wen Nuan's cheek. It was not hard to imagine how Wen Nuan had received that bruise. Wen Naun gripped Wei Wuxian's hand tightly the entire time. She didn't cry out or say anything, but her knuckles were white with how hard she was holding Wei Wuxian's hand.

Later they put the two children to bed. Lan Wangji played soft music to lull them to sleep. When Lan Wangji eventually returned to sit with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian dramatically collapsed onto Lan Wangji's lap. Wei Wuxian groaned dramatically.

"Now I'm sleepy too." Wei Wuxian whined. "It's too early. I'm not supposed to be sleepy yet."

"Mn." Lan Wangji hummed in amusement, a tiny smile quirked at the corner of his lips.

"You're enjoying this. I can tell." Wei Wuxian said, narrowing his eyes at Lan Wangji. Jiang Yanli saw Lan Wangji's lips twitch, like he was holding back a more noticeable smile.

"Mn. Apologies." Lan Wangji said in a serious tone. Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes skeptically, like he did not believe the apology was sincere. Jiang Yanli was quite certain it wasn't, but she was also quite certain that Wei Wuxian was not actually offended.

Lan Wangji let one of his hands gently drop to Wei Wuxian's head. He freed Wei Wuxian's hair from its ribbon and began to gently comb through it with his fingers. Wei Wuxian melted. He abandoned all pretense of being upset and hummed appreciatively as Lan Wangji's fingers scratched lightly at his scalp.

Jiang Yanli smiled broadly. Wei Wuxian looked like a pleased cat stretched across Lan Wangji's lap. His soft happy sounds were not unlike a cat's purrs. The way he chased Lan Wangji's hand, nuzzling against it, was very much like a cat looking for scratches.

"I had heard you slept for a long time following the battle." Jiang Yanli said softly. She didn't frame it as a question, but the invitation to share details was there. Wei Wuxian knew she always wanted to know what was going on with him. She didn't need to frame it as a question. If he was comfortable sharing the details, he would.

Wei Wuxian's face scrunched up a little. Unhappy that he was being asked to think instead of just enjoying Lan Wangji's attention. He shrugged his shoulders awkwardly from his position sprawled across Lan Wangji's lap.

"It's something I've been working on." Wei Wuxian said, his tone was casual, like it didn't matter.

Jiang Yanli wasn't fooled. Wei Wuxian had a habit of wrapping important topics up in dismissive words and casual tones. He didn't want others to worry. He didn't want others to hurt him. If he pretended it wasn't important it wouldn't sting if he was ridiculed for the decision. Jiang Yanli suspected that it did not actually help, but she took this knowledge and nodded along calmly.

"We've been struggling." Wei Wuxian began, somewhat hesitantly. He glanced at Jiang Yanli, as though checking her reaction. Jiang Yanli made sure her expression was open and encouraging.

"We have." She acknowledged. Jiang Yanli was in the war rooms. She listened to the reports from the battles, those she fought in and those she did not. She kept a record of every YunmengJiang disciple that died since the attack on Lotus Pier.

Jiang Yanli could have assigned the duty to another, but she felt compelled to do it herself. She felt the need to see the name of each disciple of her sect who fell, written out in ink. She used her best calligraphy to record their names, their ages, and the circumstances of their death. It felt like an act of respect. A way to acknowledge the disciples dying in this bloody war.

"Right..." Wei Wuxian said softly. He blinked a few times, seeming to have been thrown off balance. Jiang Yanli wasn't certain why. She knew just as well as he did that he was correct. If not better, she attended the strategy meetings more than he did. She wasn't certain why it should surprise him that she would both be aware of their precarious situation in this war, and acknowledge it openly.

In another time Jiang Yanli might have been ignorant to the details of war. She might have allowed her didis to usher her to the sidelines. She might have contented herself with assisting the wounded, and silently begrudged the fact that she never learned to fight. It hurt her heart to think about. Jiang Yanli still found the time to assist in the infirmary whenever she could, but it meant something to her that she could be one of the swords helping to protect people, instead of only being protected.

Jiang Yanli was not the same girl she had been. The Jiang Yanli of three years ago might not have recognized herself now. The Jiang Yanli of the past would have been kept far from the strategy meetings. She would only know the war through the quantities of wounded passing through the infirmary. As it stood, Jiang Yanli knew the desperation in each strategy meeting. She knew the outcome of each battle, and how many cultivators they lost in each conflict. Wei Wuxian didn't need to convince her that they were struggling. She knew it herself. Even with Wei Wuxian swelling their forces with fierce corpses, she wasn't certain if they would win.

"So... did you find it or make it?" Jiang Yanli inquired lightly.

Wei Wuxian seemed to be struggling to regain his footing in this conversation, so Jiang Yanli gave him somewhere to start. He seemed to be willing to talk at least a little about what he had done to liberate Dafan. Jiang Yanli figured this question should be a safe place to start. Whether he made the Yin Hufu or found it wasn't all that consequential. Hopefully from there he would have an easier time deciding what else to share with her.

"I found the material..." Wei Wuxian began softly. "I was able to make it into something... Something I could use with Chenqing to control more corpses." He glanced up nervously, as though he expected... something. Disapproval? Judgment? Anger? Jiang Yanli is not certain what he was expecting, but she was quite certain she was not about to give it to him.

"So the Yin Hufu is something you made?" Jiang Yanli kept her voice soft and inquisitive. No disapproval. No judgment. No anxiety.

Jiang Yanli had noticed Wei Wuxian was very sensitive to any talk about his use of resentful energy. She had heard plenty of the talk around camp. More than once she had seen the flash of hurt in Wei Wuxian's eyes when the other cultivators scurried away to keep distance between him and themselves. Even Lan Xichen's inquiries into Wei Wuxian's temperament and mental state were always met with that bristling defensiveness that Jiang Yanli knew was concealing anxiety and hurt.

This was a topic that had to be handled carefully. Worry could easily sound like criticism, and Jiang Yanli knew all too well that criticism in their household had been synonymous with rejection. She did not want Wei Wuxian to misunderstand her and withdraw. So she kept her tone light and inquisitive. She was worried about anything that resulted in Wei Wuxian being unconscious for days, but her anxiety would not prevent that from repeating.

Jiang Yanli needed to know more about this tool that Wei Wuxian used. How he used it. How it affected him. Whether they could make it safer when he had to use it again. Jiang Yanli was not so naive as to believe he would never use it again. They were in a war, and Wei Wuxian had a habit of putting other lives before his own. The best way to keep him alive was to learn what exactly was dangerous about the Yin Hufu, and see what could be done to mitigate or alleviate that danger.