Backlash Part 1

Chapter 86: Grounding

Wei Wuxian had only summoned resentful energy a few times. Once on that first night when a stranger had touched him during a nightmare. Two more times in the following months when Wei Wuxian was experiencing flashbacks. The flashbacks were apparently something new for Wei Wuxian. The first time it happened, Wei Wuxian had been terrified and disoriented. Wen Qing had to explain what was going on after Wei Wuxian had calmed down.

Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian close. He kept the embrace tight, remembering that Wei Wuxian found the pressure both comforting and grounding. With his other hand Lan Wangji continued gently combing his fingers through Wei Wuxian's hair. Lan Wangji hated to see Wei Wuxian in distress, but knowing what he could do to help made it a little easier. In a soft voice Lan Wangji whispered into Wei Wuxian's ear.

"Wei Ying, I am here."

"I am holding you and stroking your hair."

"You are sitting in my lap."

"We are outside on a dock."

"There is a light breeze."

"The air smells of river water and lotus flowers."

"There is a sound of water sloshing against the wood of the dock."

"Your clothes are slightly damp."

"Once you are feeling better we will get you dry clothes."

"Your clothing is also muddy."

"There is mud in your hair as well."

"When you are ready we could go to an inn and order you a bath."

Lan Wangji spoke calmly and softly. He described things happening in the environment around them. Described things Wei Wuxian might be able to hear, feel, and smell. Wei Wuxian was not looking around yet, but Lan Wangji still began describing the environment around them in as much detail as possible.

This was something that had been helpful for Wei Wuxian in the past. It helped ground Wei Wuxian in reality. It did require a lot of talking, but since Lan Wangji knew he only needed to describe the environment in detailed and simple terms it wasn't so bad. Lan Wangji felt Wei Wuxian shift slightly in his arms. The movement was hesitant, but slowly a hand snuck out and gripped Lan Wangji's robes.

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji inquired softly.

"It's... It's not over yet." Wei Wuxian said in a quiet hesitant voice. "Just keep holding me." Wei Wuxian whispered as he turned his face to hide in Lan Wangji's chest instead of hiding in his knees. Lan Wangji tightened his embrace and was rewarded with a small relieved sigh filtering out from Wei Wuxian's lips. Wei Wuxian had been able to respond to him. It was an improvement. Even if the flashback wasn't over, Wei Wuxian was able to interact again and that was progress. Lan Wangji only now realized that the resentful energy had dissipated. Lan Wangji didn't know when it had happened. His attention had been completely consumed by Wei Wuxian and trying to find things to describe for him.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian called softly.

"Mn." Lan Wangji encouraged him to continue.

"I'm cold." Wei Wuxian said in a small voice. Lan Wangji frowned.

"Would you be alright going to an inn?" Lan Wangji inquired gently. "We could order you a bath and get you into clean clothes." Wei Wuxian shivered lightly and Lan Wangji wasn't certain if it was from cold or fear.

"If... If you carry me." Wei Wuxian said hesitantly. Lan Wangji kissed the top of Wei Wuxian's head.

"I would accept nothing else." Lan Wangji replied softly. Wei Wuxian pressed himself more tightly against Lan Wangji's chest. Lan Wangji adjusted his hold and slowly climbed to his feet. Wei Wuxian adjusted to press himself as tightly against Lan Wangji as possible. He gripped Lan Wangji's robes with both hands as he hid his face against Lan Wangji's warm chest.

It didn't take very long to return to town and find an inn. Wei Wuxian had not gone very far outside of town. Just far enough to be away from people and find a place to hide. Lan Wangji asked for a single room and ordered a bath. As they waited Lan Wangji sat at the table with Wei Wuxian still tightly pressed against him.

Lan Wangji ground the ink and began writing out a message for Jiang Yanli. If Jiang Yanli were not at Lotus Pier, Lan Wangji would have not bothered with sending a message. Jiang Wanyin deserved to spend the entire night looking for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli seemed to be certain that Jiang Wanyin cared about Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji was less convinced.

Lan Wangji honestly wasn't certain the YunmengJiang sect heir would look for Wei Wuxian. If he did, then Lan Wangji frankly felt that he deserved the grief of not knowing where Wei Wuxian was or if he was okay. It was his punishment for constantly letting his selfishness bring Wei Wuxian suffering. If Jiang Wanyin did not care about Wei Wuxian... Lan Wangji honestly couldn't find a single reason to allow the YunmengJiang sect heir to live. He had brought Wei Wuxian enough suffering that Lan Wangji felt Jiang Wanyin's death was warranted if there was no grief or remorse regarding these actions.

Wei Wuxian continued to quietly hide in Lan Wangji's embrace as bath water was brought in and the tub filled. Lan Wangji turned over the sealed letter, requesting it be sent to Lotus Pier. He then ordered dinner for later in the evening. If the Inn worker gave any unusual looks to Lan Wangji for doing all of this while hugging a person against his chest, then Lan Wangji chose to ignore them.

"Wei Ying. Bath." Lan Wangji said quietly once they were alone. Wei Ying's grip on Lan Wangji robes suddenly tightened. Lan Wangji noticed the tensing muscles with concern.

"I'm not..." Wei Wuxian took a few steadying breaths. "I'm not ready to be away from you." Wei Wuxian managed after collecting himself. Lan Wangji tightened his embrace and nuzzled Wei Wuxian's hair.

"I will stay with you." Lan Wangji said softly. Wei Wuxian's face heated faintly, but he nodded his head in agreement.

Lan Wangji carried Wei Wuxian over to the bath. They stripped down to their trousers, Lan Wangji's eyes never straying from Wei Wuxian for very long. He noticed how shaky Wei Wuxian seemed to be as he stood on his own and removed his clothing. Wei Wuxian's eyes seemed to have difficulty focusing on anything for very long. Lan Wangji gently lifted Wei Wuxian and carried him into the tub. Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji's neck and held on tightly. Wei Wuxian was still shivering, even more noticeably than before. Lan Wangji wrapped his arms around Wei Wuxian and held him tightly.

"I'm here, Wei Ying. You are safe with me." Lan Wangji spoke softly as he began to gently rub Wei Wuxian's back. Wei Wuxian held Lan Wangji a bit tighter.

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian called softly after they were both quiet for awhile.

"Mn." Lan Wangji prodded.

"Could you... could you talk, or... or something? I... I want to hear your voice." Wei Wuxian spoke with much hesitance and pausing. Lan Wangji considered what he could say if all Wei Wuxian wanted was to hear his voice. "You don't have too. If it's too much trouble then don't worry. Just holding me is fine." Wei Wuxian rambled quickly when Lan Wangji didn't respond at first.

Lan Wangji began to softly hum. He wasn't certain if this was enough. He wasn't saying words, only softly humming a melody. He felt Wei Wuxian shift slightly. The weight of Wei Wuxian's head moved to rest on Lan Wangji's shoulder accompanied by soft breaths against Lan Wangji neck. He felt Wei Wuxian relax slowly and felt his own tension ease in response.