Backlash Part 1

Chapter 136: Too Much Alike

Wei Wuxian stared down at Lan Wangji's hand in a daze. The fact that Lan Wangji's hand was not a complete burnt and bloody ruin meant that Lan Wangji must have channelled spiritual energy into his hand to try and protect it from Zidian. That would mean it wasn't something that happened by surprise. Lan Wangji either had time to see it coming or grabbed it deliberately.

Madam Yu might be an angry person, but she was always aware of who she was lashing out against. Wei Wuxian was well aware that it was not just because of his behaviour that he was frequently on the receiving end of her anger. It also wasn't only because of him drawing attention away from others. The idea that Madam Yu would risk the backlash of striking the Second Jade of Gusu was ridiculous. No matter how angry she would not set herself up for the political fallout of that, especially when such an advantageous treaty was currently lined up with them.

In theory she probably should not have even considered striking Wei Wuxian with Zidian either. Wei Wuxian was her favourite person to take her anger out on. It would not be strange if she forgot that lashing out at him might actually matter. Wei Wuxian tried to think about what happened in Wang Lingjiao. Admittedly his mind had been half lost in the past at the time. It made it hard for him to know what actually happened.

Wei Wuxian had thought he heard the sounds of Zidian striking him, but he had not been hit. Then he thought perhaps Madam Yu just did not strike at all this time, and he had been simply remembering the sounds and sensations of the past. She did have Zidian out though. It had been in her hands in whip form instead of coiled around her finger as a ring.

Wei Wuxian had heard the cracks of Zidian echoing through his head. After a particularly loud crack Lan Wangji had spoken in an almost scathing tone.

'Wei Ying is betrothed to the Second Jade of the GusuLan sect. Wei Ying will be my husband. You may address him as Wei-gongzi, or not at all.' Lan Wangji had been standing in front of Wei Wuxian like a shield. As though saying Zidian would have to go through him first before it could touch Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian's gaze snapped up to Lan Wangji's face. Had Madam Yu tried to strike him with Zidian this time? Had one of those sharp crackling sounds of a whip been real? Did Lan Wangji intercept Zidian before it could fall on Wei Wuxian?

"Lan Zhan... Why?" Wei Wuxian's voice was a hoarse whisper. Almost more an exhalation of air than actual words. Lan Wangji brought his right hand up to gently trace the side of Wei Wuxian's face.

"Protect Wei Ying. Always." Lan Wangji's voice is almost reverent. He speaks the words like they are an oath. Wei Wuxian buries his face in Lan Wangji's shoulder. He's overwhelmed. The thought that Lan Wangji took a strike from Zidian for him, and made it very clear that he would not accept any harm coming to Wei Wuxian. The thought leaves Wei Wuxian feeling dazed. He hates the idea of Lan Wangji being hurt. The thought that Lan Wangji is hurt, because he took a strike intended for Wei Wuxian, makes Wei Wuxian's heart ache painfully. At the same time, the thought that Lan Wangji would go so far to protect him makes Wei Wuxian feel so warm.

"I'm sorry... I was so out of it when Wang Lingjiao started talking with Madam Yu. I-it was so much like before." Wei Wuxian's voice is still painfully raspy.

"Wei Ying does not need to apologize." Lan Wangji says softly into his hair.

"But Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian rasps. "Why hasn't this been bandaged? Didn't Qing-Jie treat it?" There was a shift in Lan Wangji's features. Wei Wuxian can't name exactly what changes, but a quick glance at Lan Wangji's slightly reddened ears slots the pieces in place. Embarrassment. Guilt. "Why hide it?" Wei Wuxian's voice cracks slightly midway through the sentence. He really should have stuck with writing back and forth with Lan Wangji. His throat certainly liked that better.

"At the time, I wanted to be punished. It was a penance for failing to protect you from Jiang Wanyin." Lan Wangji's voice was slightly unsteady.

In another conversation Wei Wuxian would have made loud exclamations and scolded Lan Wangji severely. That was something for a healthier Wei Wuxian to do. A Wei Wuxian who was not exhausted down to his soul. A Wei Wuxian who's throat didn't protest every other word he spoke. A Wei Wuxian who had not just been reminded of the fact that he hurt Lan Wangji by deciding his guilt warranted allowing Jiang Wanyin to 'punish' him. Wei Wuxian couldn't pretend he didn't understand how Lan Wangji had been feeling when he made that decision.

"We're more alike than people think aren't we?" Wei Wuxian inquired softly.

"Mn." Lan Wangji replied. The tone in Lan Wangji's response affirmed what Wei Wuxian had already gathered from the look in Lan Wangji's eyes mixed with his previous words.

Lan Wangji understood he should not have denied himself treatment. Lan Wangji that if roles were reversed he would have scolded Wei Wuxian for doing the same thing. The thoughts and feelings between Lan Wangji refusing treatment, and Wei Wuxian deliberately allowing Jiang Wanyin to physically harm him. The two situations were shockingly similar, and both of them knew it.

"Let me clean and wrap it tonight. Have Qing-Jie look at it tomorrow." Wei Wuxian said in a rough whisper. Lan Wangji agreed without complaint. It took a few scant seconds for Lan Wangji to retrieve what was needed. He then sat patiently as Wei Wuxian cleaned the injury with gentle dedication. Wei Wuxian did not know how long they had sat up talking, or how long he spent treating the injury on Lan Wangji's hand. All Wei Wuxian knew was that he felt he could fall asleep standing up at this point.

Lan Wangji lifted Wei Wuxian off his feet, and Wei Wuxian didn't even consider putting in a token effort to whine about it. As usual, Lan Wangji settled Wei Wuxian on the side of the bed nearest the wall before climbing in next to him. Wei Wuxian had already closed the distance and wrapped himself around Lan Wangji before Lan Wangji finished pulling up the blanket.

The uncomfortable feeling that had loomed restlessly in Wei Wuxian's stomach was gone now. Wei Wuxian melted against Lan Wangji's warm chest. The arm Lan Wangji had wrapped around him felt like it would shield Wei Wuxian from everything bad in the world. The tension caused by their disturbed emotions had been cleared away by their conversation, and everything between them felt safe and comfortable. Secure.

Wei Wuxian nuzzled against Lan Wangji's chest as exhaustion swept away what remained of his consciousness. As long as he had Lan Wangji next to him, it really did feel like everything would be okay. Bad things would come. Wei Wuxian knew very well that terrible things were coming. There was a war and more things coming after. Things that Wei Wuxian was less confident about how to navigate, but Lan Wangji was with him. As long as Lan Wangji stood beside him, Wei Wuxian felt it possible to hope that in the end he might be okay.