Backlash Part 1

Chapter 160: Looking for Wei Wuxian

Lan Wangji returned to the tent with a box packed with prepared food. He selfishly hoped to find Wei Wuxian just waking up. Alert enough to fully awaken when Lan Wangji entered, but not already immersed in his work on the Yin Hufu. It would allow Lan Wangji the rare opportunity to sit and share a meal with Wei Wuxian, something that had become a rare luxury.

Not that Lan Wangji did not enjoy feeding Wei Wuxian, but doing so while Wei Wuxian was working did not have the same intimacy as feeding Wei Wuxian when all of Wei Wuxian's attention could actually be on Lan Wangji and the food. Lan Wangji had missed cooking for Wei Wuxian, but he had missed seeing Wei Wuxian's reactions to his cooking more. Lan Wangji would always be happy to see Wei Wuxian eat his fill, but there was a small part of him that would be disappointed if Wei Wuxian was too distracted to even notice what the food Lan Wangji had made tasted like.

Lan Wangji entered the tent and was immediately disappointed that Wei Wuxian was not sprawled beneath their blankets. Wei Wuxian's absence from bed immediately removed Lan Wangji's first and second favourite options for what he would return to. If Wei Wuxian was not just waking up, then he had hoped he was still asleep.

Wei Wuxian had been spending too much time working and not enough time sleeping. Worse, Lan Wangji was no longer even able to argue that it provided no benefit. Lan Wangji was on the same battlefields as Wei Wuxian. He saw what Wei Wuxian saw. He saw the reality that the battles were getting more difficult. Wei Wuxian had not used the Yin Hufu in combat yet, but it no longer felt like something that would remain optional. Instead, it seemed like it would only be a matter of time until Wei Wuxian would be forced to use the Yin Hufu, whether he had been able to make it safer or not.

Lan Wangji turned to the section of the tent that Wei Wuxian had claimed for his work, fully expecting to find him hunched over his notes. He was not there. A feeling rose in Lan Wangji's stomach, a bit like the sensations of descending too quickly while flying. Lan Wangji carefully looked around the tent one more time. The blankets were in a crumpled heap. Far too small of a heap to hide a person. One last look to scan around the tent. Wei Wuxian was still not there.

Lan Wangji was not panicking. Lan Wangji was just unsettled because Wei Wuxian rarely went anywhere in camp alone. Wei Wuxian rarely went anywhere around camp at all. Wei Wuxian had been devoting hours to trying to find a way to make the Yin Hufu safer. He spared little time for anything else. Not to mention that Lan Wangji was acutely aware that Wei Wuxian was not especially comfortable around camp.

Wei Wuxian was of course capable of taking care of himself and going around camp on his own. He was capable of protecting himself, and at this point no one had ever threatened Wei Wuxian's safety in camp. There had been a few ill mannered comments. Mostly it was low whispers that would grow suddenly quiet when Wei Wuxian walked past.

It was uncomfortably similar to the looks and whispers Lan Wangji had been surrounded by as he had grown up. Everyone had an opinion about him. Usually fear, for his unapproachable disposition, status as sect heir after Lan Xichen, and role in being in charge of discipline for the guest disciples. Disdain was also common due to Lan Wangji's skills, status, and aloofness.

Pride and admiration had made up the rest, but was typically shallow. Few disciples had admired his skills more than they had feared him as a person. His elders had taken great pride in his cultivation, rigid adherence to the rules, and his pristine (isolating) reputation. As a result, Lan Wangji had been uncomfortable in groups. He had given up ever bridging the gap between himself and others. He had assumed his life would remain monotonous, and refused to acknowledge to himself how lonely and empty he felt.

Wei Wuxian had disrupted that experience with all the grace of cannonball-ing into a still pond, and Lan Wangji would forever be grateful for it. Lan Wangji saw much of those dynamics of his life playing out around Wei Wuxian. The fear of the other cultivators in the avoidant glances and swift steps. The suddenly stopped whispers followed by eyes tracking how close Wei Wuxian was to them. The praise that felt empty.

There was praise about how the Wen cultivators were dying brutally. The praise was said to Wei Wuxian, or said with him present and all knowing he was the one who did it. It was not praise about Wei Wuxian himself. No one praised the creative and brilliant mind that had figured out how to achieve these things. No one praised the sacrifice of using these methods for the greater good. No one mentioned the over half a dozen talismans that Wei Wuxian had invented and shared at the start of the war. Talismans that were used by all of the allied sects. Some were used in camp daily, but Lan Wangji had not heard anyone praise Wei Wuxian for their creation.

Lan Wangji could relate greatly with why Wei Wuxian felt so uncomfortable around camp. Especially since the praise he received was so shallow and so limited that it ignored a great deal of his accomplishments. That was without considering that Wei Wuxian still found crowds, and particularly crowds of cultivators, uncomfortable. Within battle Wei Wuxian was so focused on what he was doing that it wasn't an issue. Without something to focus on the anxiety and discomfort were much more prevalent, and Wei Wuxian felt no need to make things more difficult for himself by going out among it more than necessary.

It made a lot of sense that these circumstances would make Lan Wangji concerned, not panicked, about Wei Wuxian apparently deciding to go around camp alone. Lan Wangji set the food down without being bothered to step further into the tent. Wei Wuxian is not in the tent, which means he could be anywhere else.

The kitchens are unlikely. Lan Wangji was just at the kitchens. He moves the kitchens to the bottom of his list of most likely places Wei Wuxian might have gone. Lan Wangji will still check it before looking at less likely places. Wei Wuxian looks for very few people in camp, and leaves for very few reasons. To get food is one of these reasons, but Lan Wangji was already at the kitchens.

If Wei Wuxian ran out of paper or ink, that would be something Wei Wuxian might leave to get on his own. Lan Wangji can see the ink stick peeking out from beneath a loose piece of paper. The loose piece of paper appears to have fallen off a stack of suspiciously blank and cleanly stacked paper. Wei Wuxian does not stack his notes so cleanly. It is most likely to be blank paper. Wei Wuxian would leave to attend strategy meetings... occasionally. There is not a meeting scheduled for several hours. Wei Wuxian likes to talk with Jiang Yanli both socially and for more practical reasons.

Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli have functionally divided the duties of a sect leader between themselves. In conversation and matters of title, Jiang Wanyin is considered the sect leader of the YunmengJiang sect. However, it has been made quite clear that Jiang Wanyin will always support the words and decisions of Jiang Yanli. Therefore they functionally have equal authority. They seemed to have reached some manner of agreement that Jiang Wanyin led the troops on the front line, while Jiang Yanli led the YunmengJiang sect in camp. In strategy meetings Jiang Yanli was treated like an advisor, and everywhere else in camp her word was considered the same as his.

Wei Wuxian still took a fairly active role among the YunmengJiang contingent. All his involvement was through Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin mostly avoided each other. Cooperating for the most part when in front of others, but also minimizing the amount of time they were together in front of others. Jiang Yanli has been insistent on including Wei Wuxian's insight and opinion in matters of the sect and the war. Wei Wuxian stopped resisting it somewhere during the first year of the Sunshot campaign.

It meant Wei Wuxian had a quiet yet active involvement in the decisions of his natal sect without interruption. Even during the times he was using demonic cultivation to raise armies in a war, he was still theirs. He still belonged with them. Lan Wangji knew Wei Wuxian had slowly realized that as he also stopped protesting the inclusion. It had meant a lot to Wei Wuxian to still feel connected with his sect.

Lan Wangji concluded that Wei Wuxian was most likely looking for Jiang Yanli. He enjoyed her company, talked with her to assist their sect, and sought her out to support his Jie. Lan Wangji turned to go to the infirmary. Jiang Yanli was probably not there at the moment. Given that Lan Wangji had known she just finished cooking and was taking food to Jiang Wanyin and Luo Qingyang. However, Wei Wuxian did not have that information and so would begin in the most common place to find her, the infirmary.