Backlash Part 1

Chapter 47: Empathy

Lan Xichen was walking slowly toward his father's residence once more. He didn't know how many times he had visited his father. He had begged and sobbed and his father never came out, but Lan Xichen didn't know what else to do. His didi had become so closed off an unexpressive that Lan Xichen hadn't even been able to tell he had gotten sick. This was the third time he had come down with a fever after kneeling outside their mother's residence since her death. This time Lan Xichen hadn't even realized anything was wrong until his didi suddenly collapsed.

The six year old had been unconscious for two days so far, and Lan Xichen didn't know what to do. He debated for a long time about going to their father again. It hadn't done anything before, but... if things kept going like this it could endanger Lan Wangji's life. Lan Wangji had become so closed off and inexpressive. He even concealed illnesses now! His didi was still unconscious and even though the healers promised he would be alright. That was this time. What about next time? Lan Xichen was terrified that nothing was going to be able to help his didi. Nothing he did seemed to make it better. Nothing their uncle did made it better.

"Xiongzhang. You need to come out of seclusion." Lan Xichen froze when he heard his Uncle's voice. The eight year old saw his uncle standing outside the door and quickly hid, afraid he would be scolded if his uncle saw him. He had never known his uncle to come to his father's residence.

"Xiongzhang. I didn't complain when you locked yourself in seclusion and abandoned your duties as sect leader. I took them over for you and let you take the time you needed to figure things out. When you didn't even come out to hold A-Huan when he was born I kept my mouth shut and took care of your son while I ran the sect for you. I thought when Madam Lan was pregnant with A-Zhan that it was a good sign. Clearly you had visited her, so I thought maybe it was a sign that you would be ready to come out of seclusion soon. More than six years since your youngest was born and you have never even met your children. Who are you punishing Xiongzhang, you or them?" Lan Qiren's voice shook with repressed emotions. There was silence for a while.

"When you first went into seclusion I genuinely believed you were doing it in punishment. I expected you to remain in seclusion for a few years and I accepted your duties and responsibilities in your place. Your boys have lost their Muqin. Your youngest had fallen ill three times that I am aware of because of standing outside her residence all day. I don't even know if it has been more than that because he has become so unresponsive that this time we only discovered he was ill when he collapsed during lunch. If he had collapsed somewhere secluded, how long would it have taken for us to find him? He's been unconscious for two days so far. I have tried everything I can think of to get him to stop waiting for his Muqin. I have tried explaining calmly. I have tried scolding him. I tried punishing him."

"Every month he spends the entire day in front of her door. He will not speak or eat for the entire day. The only thing I can do to try and keep him from getting ill is make sure he is inside mostly resting by copying rules for the day after. Yet that didn't prevent his illness this time." Wen Qing listened with a mix of interest and judgement. She had probably never heard so much pain in Lan Qiren's voice. She could understand the distress, but she still found much of his approach to be quite stupid. At the same time Wen Qing could feel Lan Xichen's heartache as he held back his tears. There was a very quiet sound that Wen Qing could not quite make out. Almost like soft murmuring. Lan Qiren's hands were balled into fists and they were shaking with rage.

"No Xiongzhang, this is not you accepting your punishment... You are running away. You ran away from your wife because you could not resolve her actions and your affections. I may have resented Madam Lan for killing our Shifu, but your unanimous decision of marriage and seclusion means there has never been a proper investigation into her actions. While she was in seclusion she was perfectly polite and graceful and she loved her children. No matter my personal feelings for her deeds this is more than I could expect from someone forcefully imprisoned. I was impressed enough that I petitioned the elders to unrestrict the visits with her children, but they denied it every time. I told you many times that you should come out of seclusion and allow for a proper investigation. Although she killed our Shifu, the investigation might have uncovered a reason or at least sufficient remorse to allow your children to have their mother truly part of their lives. I don't know if you are afraid she had no good reason, or if you are afraid our Shifu did something to warrant this. In either case it doesn't matter now. Her isolation has killed her. She has claimed her own life." There was another pause with the indistinguishable murmurs.