Backlash Part 1

Chapter 186: The Beginning of the War's End

Wei Wuxian felt his heart break when they left camp, heading for their first battle since Dafan. He had known it was going to be hard on Nuan-er and A-Yuan. He had known and he had tried to prepare for it. Wei Wuxian didn't want it to be a surprise. He explained it the day before they would be leaving. It didn't go well.

Nuan-er was desperate. She did everything she could think of to get them to agree to stay. They tried to assure her that they would return as soon as they could, but it didn't take long before Nuan-er devolved into tears. A-Yuan took his jie's distress as a sign that something was horribly wrong. He had initially accepted their assertions that they would come back as soon as they could, but now A-Yuan refused to be calmed. It was a long night before the two kids finally wore themselves out.

Lan Wangji had been badly shaken, distressed by the tears that he couldn't soothe. Wei Wuxian pulled Lan Wangji against him and held him. Wei Wuxian combed Lan Wangji's hair with his fingers while reassuring him that Nuan-er and A-Yuan would be okay eventually. Wei Wuxian had much more experience with distraught children than Lan Wangji did. A-Yuan had been the best little boy, still was, but that did not mean he did not have his own meltdowns.

Wei Wuxian was already familiar with sometimes not being able to give a satisfactory answer. He was familiar with sometimes having to distract a child instead, or hold them while they sobbed. Wei Wuxian knew what it was like when he couldn't make his little one's tears stop, but Lan Wangji didn't.

So Wei Wuxian held Lan Wangji the way Lan Wangji often held him. Wei Wuxian whispered soft assurances into Lan Wangji's hair. Telling Lan Wangji that he was doing his best, and was still a wonderful parent. Lan Wangji didn't say anything, but from the way he pressed into Wei Wuxian's embrace Wei Wuxian could tell that Lan Wangji needed it.

As expected they're actual departure did not go any better. Nuan-er didn't just cry... she screamed. Wei Wuxian had to admit that A-Yuan had never quite reached this level of volume or outburst during any of his tantrums in the Burial Mounds. Nuan-er screamed and sobbed. She demanded that they stay with her. She asked how they could leave her. How were they supposed to protect her and A-Yuan if they weren't with them?

Any efforts to answer her questions were immediately drowned out by ear piercing screams that left the entire camp cringing. A-Yuan was sobbing in Wen-popo's arms. San-yi had the unenviable task of holding Nuan-er back, because Nuan-er was not about to just let Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji walk away.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji eventually had no choice left but to leave. Nuan-er was not calming down no matter how they tried to soothe her. At this point they could only hope she might calm down after they left. Neither of them said a word as they left. They gripped each other's hands desperately as Nuan-er's screams echoed after them.

What was the anxiety of battle next to that hopeless and desperate feeling that filled their chests when A-Yuan and Nuan-er were sobbing and screaming? The battles went well. Chifeng-zun had planned out their targets in order to get them closer to Nightless City as quickly as possible. It was risky and many of the sect leaders had only agreed because it was Chifeng-zun who told them it could be done.

The Yin Hufu made its appearance in predetermined battles. Chifeng-zun had worked out the targets he felt would likely be weak enough for them to take without using it. He didn't want to risk Wei Wuxian losing consciousness in the middle of their push. They attempted to create a rough outline of when they thought Wei Wuxian might need to use it and how much support they thought would be required.

There was a lot more guesswork than anyone involved in that conversation liked, but Chifeng-zun didn't want to waste time requesting and waiting for information from Lan Xichen's spy. Chifeng-zun had not forgotten what Wen Qing said about the information she had passed on from Meng Yao. Chifeng-zun had learned that Wen Qing was in contact with Lan Xichen before, and gave him information. He had also learned since then that Wen Qing was not the only spy.

They pressed on with their plan. The Yin Hufu made an appearance during the second battle. That battle changed their momentum. The Yin Hufu's power was amazing. Even when Wei Wuxian was holding back and not singlehandedly clearing the entire field of enemies. Wei Wuxian had been surprisingly upfront with Nie Mingjue about the fact that the Yin Hufu was dangerous. Wei Wuxian had not gone into the same detail as he had with Lan Wangji, but he had disclosed that the longer he used it and the more resentful energy channelled into it, the more dangerous it was.

It wasn't exactly a surprise to Nie Mingjue. Anything that powerful was going to be dangerous. When Nie Mingjue didn't start bristling about the use of resentful energy Wei Wuxian decided to risk sharing a few more details. To his surprise, Nie Mingjue was actually really easy to talk to about the Yin Hufu. Wei Wuxian had not expected that at all.

There was no accusatory tone about why Wei Wuxian was using it. Nie Mingjue seemed to tacitly understand that in a war they couldn't always be picky. Nie Mingjue also wasn't someone especially close to Wei Wuxian. He wasn't fretting over Wei Wuxian's health, or asking anxious questions about the long term effects. Nie Mingjue had asked very straightforward questions. He wanted to know how Wei Wuxian could use the Yin Hufu in battle. What the limiting factors were, and if anything could be done to mitigate those factors.

The plan they came up with was to maximize Wei Wuxian's ability to use the Yin Hufu in multiple battles, by minimizing how much he needed to use it in each battle. Often in the form of strategically choosing when to begin using it and where to channel the additional corpses to create a tactical advantage.

The swift turnaround in the battle leading to victory raised morale. It was positive for their forces, even if it was less than positive for Wei Wuxian. The fearful looks and wide distance between Wei Wuxian and the other cultivators increased. Wei Wuxian was already blamed semi-regularly for misfortunes on the battlefield. Now he was inundated with demands about why he was holding back.

'Why didn't you use the Yin Hufu? We didn't need to lose anyone today. If you had used it, none of our people would have died!' Those became common words in Wei Wuxian's ears after the battles where he didn't use it.

On days when those voices grew particularly loud, Nie Mingjue would stop by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's tent. Nie Mingjue never mentioned the accusations. He would commend Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji for their contribution during the last battle. He'd review the plans for the next battle with them, something Wei Wuxian appreciated because it enabled him to skip as many of the strategy meetings as he wanted.

Every time he visited Nie Mingjue would confirm which battle they planned to next have Wei Wuxian use the Yin Hufu. Nie Mingjue didn't say, 'You did a good job. You did exactly what you were supposed to do,' but Wei Wuxian felt those words in his bones whenever Nie Mingjue stopped by for one of these talks. It was nice, and weird.

Wei Wuxian had never talked much with Nie Mingjue in his first life. There had never been much of a reason, and even less opportunity. Nie Mingjue was a sect leader. Any interactions Wei Wuxian had with him were typically in an official capacity, as Wei Wuxian served at Jiang Wanyin's side. He knew Nie Mingjue as someone with a strong sense of honour.

Nie Mingjue hadn't complained about Wei Wuxian's demonic cultivation, but he had been offended that Wei Wuxian did not carry his sword. Wei Wuxian didn't actually blame Nie Mingjue for being offended by that. It was a pretty normal response, but unfortunately Wei Wuxian had bigger concerns than offending people back then. Nie Mingjue's good qualities were unfortunately hindered by a quick temper and a strong bias against anyone named Wen. Something that had firmly put him at odds with Wei Wuxian.

'Although... Chifeng-zun did support bringing the Dafan Wens into camp as medics and allies rather than prisoners.' That was in direct conflict with Wei Wuxian's impression of Nie Mingjue. Someone Wei Wuxian had known as hating Wens so profoundly that he supported the labour camps, and joined the siege to rid the last of them from the Burial Mounds.

Wei Wuxian tried not to think too deeply about it. He was hoping to change the future, and... he really appreciated the talks. Nie Mingjue wasn't supportive the way Lan Wangji was, or even Jiang Yanli. Nie Mingjue wasn't saying he was worried about Wei Wuxian, or that he was proud of him. Either of those would have felt even weirder than whatever was happening during Nie Mingjue's visits.

Nie Mingjue just... acknowledged what Wei Wuxian brought to each battle. Just acknowledged it and worked with what Wei Wuxian could do. Wei Wuxian didn't feel like he was being judged for potentially putting himself in danger. Nie Mingjue didn't make him feel like he was doing something wrong when he asked his questions. So it was weird, but mostly it was nice.