Backlash Part 1

Chapter 116: Help me kill a monster

Lan Wangji had been awake for about two hours. He had meditated, prepared food, and was now sitting against the cave wall with Wei Wuxian sleeping peacefully in his arms. Earlier Lan Wangji had extracted himself from Wei Wuxian, who seemed to transform into a Kudzu vine after falling asleep. Wei Wuxian had made several unhappy whines during the process, but eventually flopped over like a starfish and fell back to sleep.

Wei Wuxian was considerably happier when Lan Wangji finished his tasks and scooped Wei Wuxian back into his embrace. Wei Wuxian had wiggled into what Lan Wangji assumed was a comfortable position, then hummed happily in his sleep. Lan Wangji gazed softly at the sleeping figure. Today they planned to attack the Xuanwu of Slaughter. Even knowing they had been able to kill it before did not ease Lan Wangji's anxiety.

The Xuanwu of Slaughter, was ferocious. It shared a likeness to the divine beast, Xuanwu, appearing to be part tortoise and part snake. When it was last active it had killed countless cultivators that had attempted to end its rampage. It was hardly a common creature one might find on a nighthunt. A large group of powerful cultivators had finally gathered to destroy the creature, only to suddenly find it had vanished. Now they knew it had gone into hibernation in this cave. Even now Lan Wangji did not think it accurate to say that it was active yet.

Lan Wangji wondered if the decision to fight it in their first lives had come from a desire to die fighting, rather than allowing themselves to waste away while praying for rescue. It had fallen asleep blocking the underwater exit, removing the option of trying to sneak past it. Wei Wuxian said that in his previous life it blocked the exit again when it died. They would still have to wait for someone to dig them out, unless they got lucky.

Lan Wangji did not mind waiting. Being alone with Wei Wuxian anywhere was a blessing that Lan Wangji would never tire of. Lan Wangji had not always understood what he was feeling around Wei Wuxian, but looking back he knew he had always enjoyed when they were able to be alone together. Wei Wuxian surrounded by other people had made Lan Wangji feel unhappy. Lan Wangji was not comfortable around many people, and they were not comfortable around him.

When Wei Wuxian was laughing and playing with a group it reminded Lan Wangji of how isolated he was. Wei Wuxian could talk to anyone, laugh with anyone, have fun with anyone. There was no reason for someone like that to bother trying to befriend someone like Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji was isolated and intimidating. He had not tried to make any friends in more than ten years, and he no longer even knew how one did such things.

When Wei Wuxian was surrounded by people it was like a barrier was between them. A barrier made out of a smiling, bickering, and laughing that Lan Wangji did not know how to compete with. When the two of them were alone there was no longer a throng of people for Wei Wuxian to pay attention to. Even though this did not change Lan Wangji's difficulty in expressing himself, it did make him feel like he could be close to Wei Wuxian. Something that he desperately wanted, but was also terrified of.

Then the incident in the Cold Spring happened. The beautiful light and warmth that was Wei Wuxian was also extinguished before Lan Wangji's eyes. Lan Wangji had learned so much since then. He had learned more about himself and much more about Wei Wuxian. He had learned how badly the world had hurt Wei Wuxian, and that likely the future would bring more.

'Wei Ying. Sometimes I wish I could take you far away, where no one would find us. This world has treated you cruelly. There are scars carved in your tears, and each one burns my heart.' Lan Wangji gazed down at Wei Wuxian. He remembered the look in Wei Wuxian's eyes when he talked about the Yin Hufu. Wei Wuxian had been so hesitant to admit that he was afraid of it. Even now Lan Wangji did not think Wei Wuxian had told him everything.