Backlash Part 1

Chapter 188: King of "Seeing Through WWX's Bullshit"

Wei Wuxian was struggling. In his first life Wei Wuxian had only actually used the Yin Hufu twice. Twice, that is literally only two times and one of them he was already kind of half out of his mind before he chose to use it. For all the confidence and experience he tried to channel into his explanations. Wei Wuxian had actually spent more time creating arrays to contain the Yin Hufu than he had spent actually using it.

His rule about using the Yin Hufu was actually something he implemented in this life as a direct result of his experiences in his first life. The first time he used it had been... It had been about as horrifying and life altering as being dropped into the Burial Mounds half dead with no golden core. Wei Wuxian was relieved that his rule had been working so well in this life, but that didn't mean he was really prepared for the strain that repeatedly using the Yin Hufu was putting on him.

Using resentful energy didn't necessarily hurt Wei Wuxian. However, it would be wrong to assume that resentful energy didn't hurt him at all. It wasn't that Wei Wuxian couldn't be hurt by resentful energy. He absolutely could. In his first life he absolutely was hurt by resentful energy during the war. No one but Wei Wuxian knew just how often he coughed up blood, or passed out after a battle without even being able to make sure he was in a safe place to do so.

Wei Wuxian has always been very good at pretending he was confident and cocky. Even when it was far away from what he was actually feeling. He's so good at it that he has rarely needed to put on a show more than once or twice before anyone started to assume he was simply being reckless and stupid.

Wei Wuxian wasn't certain if that still held true anymore. There were a lot more people who didn't seem to buy his bullshit in comparison to his last life. The whole trying to kill himself and then learning how to have honest conversations about how he was feeling was kind of the ultimate evidence that Wei Wuxian's bullshit should be subjected to intense scrutiny.

Wei Wuxian was not the same person he was during the war of his first life. He had more experience. He had more reasons to take care of himself. He had a fiance that had looked entirely too broken when Wei Wuxian wanted to die. Even on the bad days when Wei Wuxian might not care about his own well being. He could still care about his well being for the sake of Lan Wangji. That was something he definitely didn't have going for him in his last life.

Wei Wuxian was considerably more careful in this life. Wei Wuxian was also considerably better taken care of in this life. Lan Wangji never did anything less than perfectly, and he had fully committed to taking care of Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian had never been warm or properly fed after a battle in his last life. He rarely allowed Lan Wangji to play cleansing music. It was less effective when he didn't have a golden core, but it wasn't as useless as he had pretended it was. Wei Wuxian certainly never received any transfusions of spiritual energy, or had spiritual energy of his own to heal himself with.

That said, he also had never used the Yin Hufu this much. As much as Wei Wuxian hated to admit it, the Yin Hufu did hurt him when he used it. It was not ideal to need to use it, but Wei Wuxian had accepted this as a necessary cost to be able to save Wen Qing. Wei Wuxian didn't have another six months to wait for them to make it to Nightless City. Wen Qing was in danger now.

The battles had been growing increasingly desperate the closer they got to Nightless city. Wei Wuxian wasn't sure if Wen Rouhan knew what was going on or not, but Wen Rouhan certainly knew something was going on. Twice Wei Wuxian had been forced to use the Yin Hufu during a battle they had not planned on using it during. Battles that they had deliberately intended to not have Wei Wuxian use it so that he could be prepared for Nightless City.

Most of their allies were emboldened by the last two victories. Those were the same cultivators who had no idea why Wei Wuxian used the Yin Hufu in some battles but not others. The ones most likely to praise Wei Wuxian's power and slander him for his immorality, sometimes in the same conversation.

Only Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Nie Mingjue knew that the last two battles were actually a shit show. The Yin Hufu was not supposed to be used in those battles. That was the decision the three of them came to well in advance of the actual fighting. The fact that they were losing until Wei Wuxian used it, effectively turning the tide, was a sign that something had gone horribly wrong.

Lan Wangji was both in the know of this and the undisputed king of, 'seeing through Wei Wuxian's bullshit'. So Wei Wuxian was not surprised that Lan Wangji immediately spirited him away from the battlefield and into a tent at the earliest moment possible. Which was good because Wei Wuxian could feel the stale blood, an uncomfortable congested feeling in his chest. He still preferred not allowing others to see him hurt, so he much preferred getting out of sight before he coughed it up.

Once Wei Wuxian cleared it Lan Wangji was quick to bundle Wei Wuxian into a blanket. If Wei Wuxian couldn't see the crease of concern on Lan Wangji's brow, he might have been amused. There was still something endearing about how Lan Wangji guided Wei Wuxian to sit with him. Lan Wangji retrieved an envelope of medicinal incense and set it to burn before he took out his guqin.

Lan Wangji was not a healer, but the GusuLan sect's healing music was legendary. With a properly functioning golden core the scores were actually properly effective this time, unlike Wei Wuxian's first life. Wei Wuxian leaned against Lan Wangji and let the music wash over him, spiritual energy lapping against him like a shore line.

Generally it was better to meditate at the same time. It was supposed to enhance the effects. Wei Wuxian didn't bother with that yet. First of all, he was just too damn tired for proper meditation. Secondly, trial and error had taught Wei Wuxian that doing so immediately after using large amounts of resentful energy was not such a good idea.

Wei Wuxian shivered slightly as he pressed himself closer to Lan Wangji. Resentful energy was always cold, but using the Yin Hufu seemed to rob the heat from Wei Wuxian's body. It left him frozen stiff, heat returning painfully slowly despite the warm blankets and the furnace that was Lan Wangji.

"Do we have enough time to nap before Nie Mingjue comes by?" Wei Wuxian inquired. He meant it to sound like a playful whine. Instead it sounded pained and tired. Wei Wuxian was tired and in pain, so he supposed this was just him being more honesty than he had intended to be.

"Rest, Wei Ying." Lan Wangji said softly. A warm kiss on the crown of Wei Wuxian's head traced a small tired smile across Wei Wuxian's lips.

It was honestly amazing that it was only Nie Mingjue they had to worry about interrupting. Jiang Yanli and the DafanWens were many battlefields behind them. Jiang Wanyin hadn't sought Wei Wuxian out after a battle in over two years. The only other person in camp Wei Wuxian might expect to drop by would be Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen hadn't tried to anxiously check in on Wei Wuxian or cautioned Wei Wuxian against demonic cultivation since they confirmed Wen Qing was in danger. Wei Wuxian wanted to believe it was because Lan Xichen was finally more onboard with the urgency of their situation, but that didn't sit quite right. Their situation had been urgent for a long time. Chifeng-zun's capture had been a particularly poignant period of urgency. Wen Qing's situation was really just a more recent urgent development to an already urgent situation.

None of that had ever stopped Lan Xichen from sharing worried looks and anxious questions about Wei Wuxian's well being. Lan Wangji had noticed it too. Lan Wangji didn't know what exactly was going on with Lan Xichen, but Lan Xichen had deflected Lan Wangji's inquiry. Clearly Lan Xichen did not want to disclose what was going on.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji chose to respect that. Mostly because it would have been hypocritical to pester Lan Xichen when Wei Wuxian desperately did not want to be pestered by Lan Xichen in return. The other reason being that they really did not have the time and energy to spare pestering someone about what was wrong when they so clearly did not want to talk about it.

Wei Wuxian was a little worried about Lan Xichen, but since he was pretty confident Lan Xichen would survive the war it felt like something that could be addressed later. Wei Wuxian knew Lan Wangji was similarly worried. However, Lan Wangji was also still in the habit of wearing his spiritual energy down so low that he needed Wei Wuxian's help in return to recover from his body's objection to the abuse.

Nie Mingjue announced himself before entering. It was a considerate gesture, if a bit unnecessary at this point. Nie Mingjue's talks had escalated from frequent to almost daily. Nie Mingjue always stopped by the evening after a battle. The fact that Wei Wuxian had to use the Yin Hufu again had only added to the certainty that Nie Mingjue would pay them a visit.