Backlash Part 1

Chapter 180: Pretending to Sleep

Wen Nuan was tired. First, the soldiers had come. Like the times before, it was loud and scary. Like the times before, people had died. Different this time, Xian-gege had covered everything in cold smoke. He had controlled dead bodies like they were dolls and summoned ghosts to protect them and kill the soldiers. When it was over there were no soldiers left alive.

Wen Nuan had struggled to believe what was happening. She did not remember a time when there were no soldiers looming around the edges of her home. There had been so many of them. More than Wen Nuan had seen in a long time. Then they were all gone.

In Wen Nuan's eyes, Xian-gege was like the hero in a story. For once, Wen Nuan saw someone who would be able to protect her and her didi. Someone who would be able to protect themselves, and wouldn't be snatched away the next time soldiers appeared.

Xian-gege slept a long time. That was fine. He still answered her when she asked for him, even if he mumbled a lot and most of those answers were warm hugs. That was actually kind of nice. Wen Nuan hadn't felt soothed or comforted by someone in a long time. Her family tried, but Wen Nuan... She just couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't trust those sweet words and get used to those warm arms when they might disappear any day and leave her again.

She let A-Yuan have those hugs and kisses. She gave him the soothing words she wanted. She pretended she didn't want the hugs. Didn't want to be held. She kept her tears to herself. She couldn't let them be seen. She couldn't let people get close and chase the tears away. It hurt, but it felt like it would hurt so much more if she let herself get used to those warm soothing words and comforting arms.

Xian-gege was different though. Xian-gege was strong. He could stay. Xian-gege wrapped his arm around her and it felt safe. Wen Nuan didn't mind that Xian-gege spent most of his time sleeping. Not when he would murmur soothingly to her at the slightest provocation. Not when she felt safe with him.

Wen Nuan might have been content with that, but then Xian-gege woke up properly. Then Wen Nuan learned that Xian-gege was fun. Xian-gege liked to play! Wen Nuan was surprised at first. She usually spent all her time with her didi. She played with him, but it was different. It was more about doing things that entertained A-Yuan.

Wen Yuan still needed to hold on to something, or someone, to walk. It wasn't as though they could chase each other around. They couldn't play hide and seek. He could only go so far and Wen Nuan hated having him out of her sight.

It felt strange to let someone else keep them safe. It felt very strange to not worry so much about her didi and just have fun. Wen Nuan thought it would be very difficult, but Xian-gege made it easy. Wen Nuan did not remember when last she had run around for fun. She didn't recall how long it had been since she climbed into someone's lap when she was nervous or tired.

Xian-gege's Shijie had come to visit. That was scary. Wen Nuan did not expect to leave Xian-gege's lap while his Shijie was still in the room. She was nice though, Wen Nuan admitted somewhat begrudgingly. She didn't come too close and she had kind eyes. Xian-gege seemed to like her a lot, so Wen Nuan cautiously agreed to help her make a straw doll. Xian-gege had been teaching her since A-Yuan went to sleep for his nap.

Dinner had been nice. Wen Nuan had kept trying to check on A-Yuan at first. She was used to taking care of him. She wanted to make sure he got everything he needed. Pretty-gege was taking good care of A-Yuan. Wen Nuan checked a few times just to be sure, but then Xian-gege was helping her to grip the chop sticks and she had to focus to try and pick up her food. It was kind of fun at first, but eventually Wen Nuan's hand got tired and she just wanted to finish eating.

She had wondered if Xian-gege might be disappointed, but he was smiling brightly. He praised her for doing so well and fussed over her as she finished eating. It was nice. The entire day had been nice, even with Xian-gege's Shijie there. Wen Nuan was exhausted, especially since she had not taken a nap today. She had been too excited that Xian-gege was awake.

Pretty-gege was playing soft music again. He had done that the last couple nights as well, and it always helped Wen Nuan sleep. Most nights it was hard to fall asleep. She'd hear all the noises outside. Every snap of branches or rustle of leaves would put her on edge. If anyone happened to be moving around in another room or outside she'd suddenly find herself tense and alert.

Pretty-gege's music wouldn't have stopped Wen Nuan from hearing someone barging inside, but it covered the quieter noises. It gave her something she could focus on that was peaceful and soothing. It was very tempting to just relax into the music and let herself drift to sleep.

Except, Xian-gege was still at the table. He was at the table and much closer to the door than Wen Nuan was. If he decided to leave he might be able to get out the door before she could stop him. Xian-gege hadn't tried to leave yet, but he could try to leave her.

Wen Nuan forced herself to stay awake. She stayed quiet in bed with her eyes closed and kept her breathing soft and even. She was good at pretending to be asleep. She had done it a lot. Pretending to fall asleep and waiting to sneak into A-Yuan's room so she could sleep there. Wen Nuan found it more of a struggle than she expected to stay awake. She kept finding herself almost drifting off.

Finally the music stopped and Wen Nuan pushed herself through another wave of almost falling asleep. She bit the inside of her cheek nervously as Pretty-gege stood and walked closer to the door. Wen Nuan breathed a little easier when she heard the rustling of fabric as he sat down.

Wen Nuan listened to the adults talk. Wen Nuan wondered if it had been a long time since Xian-gege had seen his Shijie. They certainly seemed to have a lot they wanted to talk about. Wen Nuan didn't quite understand everything they were saying. It was frustrating. They seemed to know what they were talking about. They didn't sound confused, but Wen Nuan wasn't sure what they were discussing.

'They were struggling? With what?' Wen Nuan frowned slightly. The downside to listening to the adults talk without them knowing was that she could not ask them questions. Eventually Xian-gege mentioned making something to help him control corpses. Wen Nuan's ears perked up at that. That was when he was moving the bodies to kill the soldiers and protect them.

'Yin Hufu...' Wen Nuan didn't know what that was, but apparently Xian-gege had made it himself. That was amazing! Xian-gege wasn't just powerful but he created these powerful things all by himself?! His Shijie and Pretty-gege didn't seem to know anything about the Yin Hufu. They were asking questions and waiting for Xian-gege to explain.

Wen Nuan was amazed by this idea that Xian-gege could create things that had never existed. It wasn't like when she learned to make straw dolls from him. It was something he already knew how to make and she was just copying him. He actually created new things. Things that he wasn't comparing to other things, which made Wen Nuan think that there wasn't anything similar enough to compare to. Wen Nuan wondered how you made something that never existed before.

"I want to adopt them." Wen Nuan heard Xian-gege say softly. "I know it's fast, and I haven't asked their family. Lan Zhan and I haven't married yet, and there's a war going on..." Xian-gege was speaking very quickly and Wen Nuan was still trying to figure out what exactly he was saying.

Wen Nuan didn't know what 'adopt' meant, but she was pretty sure by now that Xian-gege was talking about her and A-Yuan. So it was something about them. Something that he felt he would need to ask her other relatives about. Something he thought might be fast, and... for some reason he thought it might be strange to do it before getting married? Wen Nuan knew what married meant. Mamas and Papas got married before having babies.