Backlash Part 1

Chapter 130: Repeated Last Words

"A-Xian. Take care of A-Cheng." Jiang Fengmian rested his hand on Wei Wuxian's shoulder. The touch was not comforting. Maybe once it would have been, but now it felt like a slap across his face. Jiang Fengmian's last words. These could not be Jiang Fengmian's last words being spoken to him again.

The sting of only being asked to protect Jiang Wanyin echoed hollowly. It mirrored a pain that had long since taken residence in Wei Wuxian's soul. After all, this Wei Wuxian already understood what he meant to Jiang Fengmian. The part of Wei Wuxian that hoped for familial love from the only father figure he could remember was much smaller than it used to be. It had already been battered by these words before, but still that part of Wei Wuxian ached at the confirmation.

Worse however was a rising panic accompanied by an unfortunately familiar fuzziness on the edge of Wei Wuxian's senses. He wasn't sure what was causing the panic more. Certainly the realization that Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan may be about to sacrifice themselves again was part of it. More worrying was the familiar sensation that signalled he was beginning to dissociate.

This was not a good place or time to dissociate, but Wei Wuxian was discovering that many of the things he did to prevent the escalation were decidedly not helpful when genuinely reliving one of the worst nights of his life. They were also considerably less available in the middle of a battle and Wei Wuxian had both to contend with right now. Wei Wuxian tried to push through the rising panic to focus his mind.

"Jiang-Shushu." The familial address tasted like rotten fruit on Wei Wuxian's tongue, something that had once been sweet but had become sickening and sour. "Shijie has been evacuating people. We can leave together." Wei Wuxian forced the words out. His words were filled with a desperate knowledge. A knowledge that if Wei Wuxian could not convince them otherwise he would be watching Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan die again.

"Ziyuan," Jiang Fengmian said, sharing a knowing look with his wife. Yu Ziyuan nodded in acknowledgement, scowling at Wei Wuxian as she grabbed him and Jiang Wanyin and began to drag them away as Jiang Fengmian began to fight off Wen Zhuliu by himself.

"A-Niang?" Jiang Wanyin shouted over the noise of battle, but it was clear he did not yet understand what was happening. If Jiang Wanyin understood he would have already been screaming.

"Madam Yu. We can leave together with Shijie. We don't need to do this." Wei Wuxian kept his voice low, well aware that trying to suggest anything to Yu Ziyuan was dangerous.

"You stupid wretched boy!" Yu Ziyuan shouts as she throws Wei Wuxian to the ground. Her voice has always been able to fill Wei Wuxian with terror. It fills him with a fear that freezes something inside of him. The breath in his lungs feels like it will suffocate him. Wei Wuxian knows what's coming. He remembers it so well. It is a nightmare that has repeated over and over. Engraved in his soul that Wei Wuxian believed would never wash away.

"I hate you." Yu Ziyuan's voice drips venom. Her words burn as Wei Wuxian's mind begins to try and retreat against his will. "Look at what you've done! Look at what Lotus Pier has become because of you!"

Wei Wuxian does not need to look. He remembers. He remembers the fire, the blood, the bodies. Those images from the past are overlapping with the images of now. They bleed together and Wei Wuxian is not sure if he can see any difference. Did he change anything at all? It's all gone again, all destroyed. He knew. There was no excuse. He knew perfectly well this would happen, but he still couldn't change anything?

"I have said it again and again! You will be the ruin of our family! You have brought disaster to the YunmengJiang sect!" Yu Ziyuan looked like she wanted to murder Wei Wuxian, and at the moment Wei Wuxian might have let her.

"A-Niang?" Jiang Wanyin's question was abruptly silenced when Yu Ziyuan pulled him into a hug. Yu Ziyuan did not hug. That should have told Jiang Wanyin exactly what was going on. Yu Ziyuan pulls back and removes Zidian from her hand. She slips it onto Jiang Wanyin's finger, seeming satisfied when it sparks light and adjusts to fit Jiang Wanyin better.

"Zidian is yours now, it has accepted you as its master," Yu Ziyuan said in a voice softer and more affectionate than she ever used. She adjusted Jiang Wanyin's robes affectionately.

"Why are you giving me Zidian?" Jiang Wanyin's voice has a desperate edge to it.

"Find A-Li, go to your grandmother in Meishan." Yu Ziyuan continues. Her words are soft, filled with sorrow and affection, the likes of which is completely foreign from her lips.

"A-Niang, what do you mean? You and A-Die will come with us. We will go together." Jiang Wanyin grabs onto his mother's robes like a small child. Yu Ziyuan turns towards Wei Wuxian abruptly. Her expression transformed into a familiar vicious sneer.

"Wei Ying!" She spat Wei Wuxian's name like it was a curse. "You listen to me carefully. Protect Jiang Cheng. Protect him with your very life, until you take your last breath!" Yu Ziyuan's words seemed to steal the mentioned breath from Wei Wuxian's lungs, if there had been any there to begin with. The conversation was so similar, the words lining up with the words she had spit at him before. Wei Wuxian was desperately trying to bring himself back to his senses. If he could just breathe properly then maybe he'd be able to think again. Maybe then he could move and make sure that things didn't keep... keep repeating.

"A-Niang!" Jiang Wanyin called pitifully. Yu Ziyuan pulled him into another embrace.

"Good boy," she whispered, kissing A-Cheng's forehead in a way she had not done since he was a toddler.

Madam Yu pushed Jiang Wanyin into a boat, then grabbed Wei Wuxian by his collar. Somewhere in a corner of Wei Wuxian's mind that was not working properly, Wei Wuxian knew he could have fought out of the grip Yu Ziyuan had on his robes. Unfortunately Wei Wuxian's mind was caught somewhere between being detached from what was happening and reliving in excruciating detail how this scene played out before.

"Do you understand what I said to you?" Yu Ziyuan hissed under her breath to Wei Wuxian. Her expression darkened as Wei Wuxian stared back at her with wide, glazed, eyes. "Do. You. Understand? I don't want to hear any other nonsense out of your mouth. Just confirm that you understand what I am telling you to do." Wei Wuxian wished she was still shouting. This quiet venom filled voice was more terrifying than her shouting.

Wei Wuxian was thrown into the boat beside Jiang Wanyin and Zidian sprang to life, binding them together. Wei Wuxian wasn't certain if he had nodded his head in compliance, or if she had accepted his silence as confirmation. He didn't think he spoke, but Wei Wuxian honestly could not have told you one way or the other with certainty.

"A-Niang!" Jiang Wanyin screamed as Yu Ziyuan went to push the boat away from shore.

Before she reached the boat, Yu Ziyuan spun around just barely avoiding a hit from Wen Zhuliu. Wei Wuxian felt like his heart was in his throat. Wen Zhuliu had been fighting Jiang Fengmian. If Wen Zhuliu was here, then where was Sect Leader Jiang?