Life changes.

Pity Party

Ally has been off since we woke up. Aiden is screaming on the ground of the living room floor and Ally is just staring at him. Aubrey is still attached to me holding onto me. I look at Ally and sigh. Turning I walk over and bend with Aubrey on me and pick him up and hold him. "What is going on with you?" She looks up at me and then back down to the ground. Shaking my head I turn and walk upstairs with the kids.

I manage to get Aiden and Aubrey to get a bath and get them dressed in pajamas. Aubrey looks like she feels better. I finally got the dried blood out of her hair. She holds on to my leg as I rock Aiden slowly in my arms. Aiden finally falls asleep and I place him in his bed and pick Aubrey up and walk downstairs to get her some food. I manage to make her a grilled cheese sandwich. I am able to sit down and with her and feed her.

Once she is feed she wants to play. I take her into the living room and hand her a doll to play with as I sit in the floor and let her sit on my lab. Aubrey falls asleep five minutes later and I manage to get her upstairs and into her bed. I stand there watching her to see if she wakes up when I let her go but she doesn't.

I walk into Aiden's room to check and make sure he is okay. After both my kids are asleep and okay I walk downstairs.

I clean up the mess from lunch and the toys that are everywhere. Once the house is as clean as it can be with two kids and toys, I sit down on the couch with Ally. I sigh and look over at her. "Are you going to tell me where you have been?" She shakes her head, "Doesn't matter." I look at her, "You wanted to earlier, so just tell me what happened." She looks at me then back to the ground, "I went shopping and Alex called asking for help, it was late when we got done so I stayed with him. Then the next day I found out I locked my keys in the car and you were supposed to be at a play date so I we called but no one could get to the car till morning, which I came home as soon as I could, my phone died on the first night and I didn't have a charger."  I nod and look at her, "That's funny considering I texted Alex too." She shrugs, "He said his phone died the first night too and he put it on the charger but he never turned it on I guess."

I just stare out the window. "Your right, it doesn't matter." She looks at me, "How bad was it?" I look at her and then at the window, "Bad, I think paparazzi got pictures of me at the hospital but I don't care, Aubrey was screaming and hurting. " She looks down. "I wish I was here, I really do but I didn't know and..." I stand up tired of hearing it, "Just stop. " Ally stares at me and sighs. When she stands up I see she is mad, "You don't get it. I feel horrible. I feel like I let my daughter down. I feel like a horrible mother. I wasn't here when my daughter got hurt, I was gone for days while my daughter was in pain. You don't get it Austin because you were never here anyway." I get mad and look at her, "Yes, I wasn't here at the beginning but I am here now and I am trying. I am doing the best I can. So don't try to turn this around on me." She looks at me and sighs, "You will never get it. You will never get what I am feeling because you come and go all the time anyway. I'm the only one ever fully here." I get pissed and laugh, "Really? Because it seems like I'm around more than you lately. It seems like I am the only one here for them anymore. You wouldn't even pick up Aiden earlier and he was screaming right in front of you." She starts to say something and I am pissed. I put my hand up, "Just save it. There is nothing you can say Ally." She puts her hands on her hips and tosses her hair back, "I have done more for our kids then you can imagine. I did a lot and put up with a lot. I took time to myself and I hate that I did that but you don't have to act like it was nothing. Something did happen and I feel horrible about it. I feel real horrible and like I am the worst mother ever. Why can't you just make me feel better? I feel bad and you are doing nothing to help me feel better." I shake my head and look at her, "Just stop. It doesn't fucking matter. You weren't here but even that doesn't matter. I did what I had to do and Aubrey is fine that is all that fucking matters. So quit throwing yourself a goddamn pity party and start taking care of our kids."  

Turning on my heel I walk upstairs to check on the kids. I can't deal with her issues right now, I have my own to deal with. Aubrey has finally let me go and I need to shower and get cleaned up, its been a few days.

I get out of the shower and feel amazing. It is a wonder what a shower can do to make someone feel better. I feel so much better and I bet Aubrey does too. I look to the clock and see it is time to dinner. I decide to order pizza. I pick up my phone and call in the order. When it is all done, I walk over to the closet and start to get dressed. I put on a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt. I grab a twenty from my wallet and put it in the pocket of the sweats. I walk into Aubrey's room and pick her up. She slowly opens her eyes and smiles at me, "daddy?" I nod and hug her, "Yes princes, it's me." She leans in and hugs me closer. I start to walk across the hall with her, "Hungry." I laugh and kiss her head, "Food is on it's way." She nods and leans against my shoulder. I move her to my hip and she holds on and I pick Aiden up and hold him with the other arm. I make my way downstairs. Slowly I put Aiden down on the floor and then Aubrey. She looks up at me but curls up and goes back to sleep. I hear a knock at the door and walk over and answer the door and pay the pizza guy. "Aubrey, pizza." She comes running over and follows me into the kitchen.

I make me a plate, Aubrey and Aiden a plate with very cut up pieces. I look around for Ally. "Ally, dinner." I hear movement then, "I'm not hungry." I look over at Aubrey and shrug. We eat, watch a movie and then I put the kids to bed. I clean up the kitchen, then walk into down the hallway to the guest room and open it to see Ally. "Are you going to eat?" She shakes her head, "Are you going to shower? Tell our kids goodnight? Anything?" She shakes her head and I sigh. I turn to leave when I hear, "I saw the picture. You were right paparazzi got you. You looked a mess and I could see Aubrey scared and frightened and you were freaking out too. It was bad." I can't take this anymore. I turn and look at her, "Stop with the goddamn pity party. You weren't here. Face it and get over yourself. Aubrey is fine and that is all that fucking matter. The kids are what fucking matters. Get over whatever you are doing and start taking care of our kids." I turn and slam the door and walk upstairs to my bed and go to sleep, she needs to get a hold of herself.