Life changes.

figuring it out part 3

I sigh as he walks away from me. I don't know what to do. I really do love him. Watching him walk away from me so sad, it hurts more than anything.

I sit on the bed and let it sink in how bad I screwed everything up. How much I messed up the good in my life. I sigh and push myself off the bed and slowly make my way downstairs.  I realize that Austin is in his music room when I turn the corner and see Alex sitting on the couch watching television. He looks at me and points towards the room. "He went in there without a word." I nod and follow the hallway to the familiar room.

I open the door some and listen.  He starts to play steal your heart.

Hey now baby, No doubt about it, girl You drive me crazy I'm pleading guilty to the way you make me Wanna steal your heart Steal your heart Call me criminal I won't deny you make me want it all, Everything you are

I smile as I remember the first time I heard it. He then switches to back for you.

Whenever I close my eyes, I picture you there I'm looking out at the crowd, you're everywhere I'm watching you from the stage, yeah Your smile is on every face now But every time you wake up You're hearing me say Goodbye. Baby, you don't have to worry I'll be coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you Lately, I've been going crazy So I'm coming back for you, back for you, back for you, you. I've never been so into somebody before And every time we both touch I only want more So tell me nothing's gonna change yeah And you won't ever walk away, yeah Cause even though every night you'll know what I'll say Goodbye

I watch as he lays his head down before slowly playing a new tune I never heard before.

Girl when I look at you You look through me Like I'm not even there I try not to give up, to be strong but I'm afraid to say I'm scared I can't find the place Your heart is hiding I'm no quitter but I'm tired of fighting Baby I love you Don't want to lose you Don't make me let you go Took such a long time For me to find you Don't make me let you go Baby I'm begging please And I'm down here on my knees I don't want to have to set you free Don't make me What if when I'm long gone It dawns on you You just might want me back Let me make myself clear If I leave here It's done; I'm gone, that's that You carry my love around Like it's a heavy burden Well I'm about to take it back Are you sure it's worth it Baby I love you Don't want to lose you Don't make me let you go Took such a long time For me to find you Don't make me let you go Baby I'm begging please And I'm down here on my knees I don't want to have to set you free Don't make me Don't make me (Don't make me) Baby I'm begging please And I'm down here on my knees I don't want to have to set you free Don't make me Baby I love you Don't want to lose you Don't make me let you go Don't make me Stop loving you (Don't make me) Stop needing you

As the song ends he lays his head in his hands. I can't take it anymore. I push the door open more and his head moves as he hears me. I walk in and close the door. He faces the piano without staring at me. "Austin?" He looks at the keys as I walk behind his shoulder. "Austin?" He shakes his head, "Just go." I place my hand on his shoulder, "I heard you." He sighs and slumps down. I sigh and move to sit in the seat beside him, "I'm sorry Austin.  I don't know what to say. I just don't know what to say or do." He shrugs and goes to speak but we hear a door slam then a lot of noise. He gets up and walks out the door without a word.

Sighing I get out and leave the room. I walk down the hallway and see Austin holding Aiden in his arms and leaning down to talk with Aubrey as she exclaims how excited she is about something. Everyone hears me and stops to look at me. Alex stands up from the couch. Hanna leans against the wall. Austin stands up to face me and Aubrey hides behind his leg. I sigh and walk closer but Austin puts his hand up and shakes his head getting me a pretty good distance away. I bend down and look at Austin's leg. "Aubrey." She pulls on Austin's other leg so she is now hiding behind him completely. I sigh and stand up.

I look over to Alex and he nods, "I will just get going then." He waves bye to Hanna and then to Aiden and Aubrey before walking out the door. Hanna speaks up, "Do you need me?" Austin shakes his head and she turns and walks out the door as well. Austin turns and bends down to talk to Aubrey.

I don't hear anything before he stands up and she walks into the living room and he walks that way and places Aiden in his chair. He points to the kitchen and I walk there. I turn and wait for him to join me. He walks in and runs a hand through his hair. "I don't know what is going to happen with us. I don't know if we are going to try to figure this all out or give up but right now..." He turns to the kids and then back to me, "Right now Ally, the best thing for everyone is for you to figure you out and for me to be with the kids." I nod and watch him sigh. "Are you staying here?" I shake my head, "I will just stay with Alex tonight. Can I come over tomorrow for Christmas though?" He nods and turns to the kids, "We will be eating at one and presents are after." I nod and watch him walk to the fridge and get a juice. I watch him walk to the sink and grab two clean sippy cups. "You want to grab some clothes and things?" He turns to look at me and I nod before walking away and up the stairs to pack me a bag.

I come down twenty minutes later with a bag. I walk into the kitchen where Austin is cooking dinner. "I got everything I need." He nods and turns to me, "I will see you tomorrow." I nod and watch him turn back to the stove. With a sigh I walk out of the kitchen and out of the house. I walk up to Alex's jeep. I open the door and he grabs my bag as I climb in. He turns to me as I close the door and look at the house. "You two get anywhere?" I shrug and shake my head, " Not really." He nods and backs out before heading back to his dorm. "Are we coming over tomorrow?" I nod and he sighs, "Fun." He pulls into the dorm parking lot and helps me out before walking me to his room and placing my bag on his bed. He leaves to get food as I sit on the bed and think about what is to come.