Life changes.

Christmas, help

Christmas is here. I stopped at the store and got Aubrey a few new dolls and clothes. I got Aiden some new clothes and a really cute ride along toy. Alex wrapped them for me as I got dressed. I walk into the bedroom and sigh, "Ready?" He nods and grabs the presents as we walk down the hallway and outside to his car.

He packs everything up as I get in the jeep. He gets in a few minutes later and starts driving to my house. He pulls into the driveway and turns the car off. He looks over at me and smiles, "Ready?" I laugh and shake my head, "Not really but come on." I get out and grab a few of the presents as Alex grabs the ride along toy. We walk up to the door and I knock before opening it and walking in. Austin pokes his head around the kitchen wall and looks at me. He looks at the presents and points to the living room, "Just put them under the tree." I nod and walk into the living room to put them under the tree.   I turn when I hear noise and see my dad. "Ally." He runs over and hugs me. I hug him back. "How are you?" I smile, "Good." He looks at me, "Why weren't you here when I arrived?" I laugh, "Had to go finish up shopping." He nods and hugs me again. "You look great sweetie." I smile and watch him leave before Austin's parents come in and hug me. I receive the same questions and comments as my dad. Finally everyone ignores me and goes to the kids. I walk away and into the kitchen to see Austin cooking.

"You are cooking?" He turns around and shrugs, "Yeah." I nod and walk over to the fridge to get a soda. "Want some help?" He shakes his head, "I'm good. Everything is pretty much done." I nod and walk out of the kitchen and sigh as I sit on the steps. I hear movement and someone sit next to me. I lift my head and see Hanna sitting next to me. "Everything okay?" I shrug, "Not really." She smiles, "What's wrong?" I tilt my head and laugh, "Really?" She shrugs, "I figured I would ask." I laugh and look around before looking at her again, "Just realizing how bad I messed everything up." She nods, "Mistakes are made to happen, the amazing thing that comes from them is learning from them." I look at her and she sighs, "You may have made a mistake but you take from that mistake and learn from it." I nod and look around before looking back at her, "Yeah but this mistake was bad. It screwed everything up." She shrugs, "Maybe, maybe not." I look at her like she is crazy, "I am not saying everything is going to peachy and everything will go right back to normal but maybe you didn't screw everything up maybe you made everything the way it should be." I look at her and she sighs, "I have seen him, he loves you Ally. You disappearing like that killed him but he honestly didn't know what to do. He figured the best thing he could do was be here and be strong for the kids. He is doing the best he can."

I watch her and sigh already knowing this. She sighs, "You went through all of this with him and know he is with you. You know how he is feeling, take that into account." She stands up and places a hand on my shoulder, "What I am saying is that no one knows how strong they are until the only choice they have is to be strong." I watch her walk away from me and back to everyone else. I sit there thinking over everything she said. Yes, I know how Austin must feel in a way. I know he is doing what he thinks it right and he is doing the only thing he knows to do. I haven't made things easy on him and I know that. I hear movement and turn to see Alex sitting next to me. "You okay?" I shrug and he nods, "I figured that is about how you are feeling." He looks around, "We can leave if you want?" I shake my head, "I at least owe my kids Christmas. I was gone for Aubrey's birthday and missed a lot, I owe them this." He nods and sits next to me as I watch Aubrey run around and enjoy being seen.

Austin comes out of the kitchen and smiles, "Dinner is done let's eat." Everyone makes their way to the kitchen as I watch. Alex stands up and puts his hand out, "Come on. Let's eat." I grab his hand and then dust myself off before walking into the dining room to eat.

I end up sitting between Hanna and Alex. I play with my food some and eat a little bit. I'm really don't have an appetite, I feel sick. I feel like I am going to get sick.  I look across the table and see Austin feeding Aiden mashed potatoes and helping Aubrey eat while also eating himself. I should be helping but he slowly pushed me this way as everyone was sitting. My dad looks at me and smiles. I smile back and start to take small bites of bread to help.

Food is finally done and I feel a relieve that I don't have to try to eat anymore. I follow everyone into the living room as everyone sits and waits to open the presents. Austin sits at last and starts to hand the kids their gifts. I watch Aubrey open her gifts so happy. She got a lot of new dolls and movies, coloring books, big crayons, some paint and craft supplies and a doll house. Aiden got craft supplies as well, movies, clothes, a cute panda that makes a pillow, a push along thing that actually goes well with my ride along toy and books. Austin got some gifts cards and new shoes. His parents got a vacation to take a break from the mattress store. My dad got a vacation to go take a break as well. Hanna received a week off from Austin and he put my name on it as well to go to Orlando and visit Orlando studio and have fun.

Everyone started to leave after presents. It was not just Alex, Austin, Hanna and I. Hanna comes in and smiles at Austin, "The kids are done. Do you need me to stay?" He shakes his head and she hugs him then me, "Merry Christmas." We reply back as she grabs her stuff and leaves.  I walk into the living room and sit down as I wait for Alex.

They both come in and stand in front of me. "We got you something." I am handed an envelope. I look down at it and then back at them. Austin nods his head, "Open it." I open it and see an flyer for rehab. I look up at them and Alex looks at me, "We both pitched it and you leave tomorrow. You need help." I nod and stand up hugging both of them. Austin hugged me back and then stepped away, "Thanks for the new song book Ally." I smile as I realize he found his gift, "Did you open it?" He shakes his head, "Well you also have a new guitar to go pick up this week." He smiles and hugs me, "Thanks." He grabs a small box from his pants and hands it to me, "I also got you this." I open it up and see a new charm for my bracelet. This one has 2 A's engraved together forming almost a weird heart. I smile, "Thanks." He nods as Alex hands me another small box. I open it up and see an anchor necklace. I look up at him and he smiles, "Because you are strong and stable for the most part." I laugh and hug him, "Thanks." He steps away and nods, "And thank you for the keyboard." I shrug and sit back down. "Thank you both for everything." Austin nods, "Your welcome." I watch him walk away and sigh. "I'm tired." Alex nods, "Let go then." He starts walking to the door as I follow behind. Austin comes in and nods, "Bye then." I nod and hug him one more time before leaving.

Alex drives us back to his dorm. He walks with my to his dorm before his phone goes off. "Hello?" "Yes." "Okay, bye." He looks at me, "I have to go meet my parents, want to come?" I shake my head and he kisses my forehead before walking out the door. I lay down and pull the blanket up as I realize I go to get help tomorrow. I am getting help.