Life changes.

Mad.

I wake up and roll over groaning. I hear Aiden but my head. Oh my head. I hear the crying stop and Austin talking to Aiden. I groan and grab my blanket trying to cover my head and block everything out. Nothing seems to help. Huffing I throw the blanket aside and sit up slowly. I squint at the light as I see two Advil and water on the table. I grab the aspirin and take them with the water.

Sighing I get up and hope a shower will help. I look at myself and see I am still in Alex’s sister clothes. I sigh and strip as I wait for the water to get hot. I get in the shower and stand there just letting the water rush over me.

The water starts getting cold and I sigh. I grab the shampoo and wash my hair quickly. As I grab my body wash I quickly was my body and turn the water off. Standing there I grab a towel and wrap myself around me.

Feeling horrible I walk to my closet. I look around. Grabbing a pair of long sweats i set them on my chair next to the closet and grab the matching jacket. I walk over and grab a blue tank top. Opening my dresser I pull out a matching blue bra and thong set and put them on before grabbing my tank top and pulling it over my head. Grabbing my sweats I pull them on before slipping my feet into my bunny slippers. Grabbing my jacket I put it on and zip it up to my boobs.

Walking into the bathroom I grab my brush and run it through my hair quickly. I grab a hair tie and pull my hair into a pony tail.

I walk out of the room and head downstairs. I see the blinds closed and sigh in relief. I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. Walking into the living room I see Aubrey watching a movie and Aiden in his vibrating chair. I see Austin on the couch. Walking over I sit down next to him. I rub my temples as I feel the pressure start to go away.

“Head hurt?” I nod and groan, “Good.” I look up at him shocked. He shakes his head, “No, you don’t understand. I come home to find Hanna still here with the kids. She looked so fucking stressed it wasn’t even funny. I told her to go home and sleep. After putting the kids to sleep I tried to get a hold of you wondering why in the world you weren’t home. Of course I get no answer. I sat here thinking of everything that could of happened to you and in between. I even tried to call Alex and no answer there either. “

Running his fingers through his hair I try to explain, “Austin I..” He shakes his head again, “I know you needed a break. I am not stupid Ally. I worried all fucking night only to get a knock on the door at two in the morning and the only thing going through my head was ‘please don’t be the cops.’ I open the door and see Alex holding you in his arms. I think okay you were tired so he brought  you home until you talked.” He clenches his fist and runs his fingers through his hair again.

“You went to a party and got drunk. I don’t even know how to… You went and got drunk while Hanna was with the kids Ally, Not any kids, but our kids not Hanna’s, our fucking kids. I don’t even… Just go get your car today and we will talk later.” I lean back in the couch sighing, “I am not a child.”

Austin turns to me, “What?” I sit up, “I am not a child Austin. I decided to go to a party with a friend. I called Hanna and asked if she cared and she didn’t. I went to have fun and let loose.  I don’t need you to give me permission is I want to go somewhere. I am not a kid, hell I gave birth to two kids and take care of them all the time. I am a great mother and I give all of my time to them, for once I wanted time to myself. Is that so much to ask for? No.”

Getting up I walk to the doorway and sigh before turning back around, “I will get my car Monday after class. I don’t need it now anyway. “ Walking upstairs I walk to my dresser and grab my darkest sunglasses. Putting them on I switch my bunny slippers for flip flops and walk back downstairs and out the back door. I sit down on the grass and lay down letting the sun warm my body as I close my eyes blocking the sun out.

I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know Aubrey is shaking me. “Momma?” I open my eyes and look at her through my sunglasses. “Yes sweetie.”  She sits down next to me and hands me Austin’s phone. “Uncle Alex.” I smile and grab the phone, “hey.” “Your keys are in my room and so is your phone.” I sigh, “Yeah I know. I was going to come by after school on Monday and get them and my car.” I don’t hear anything on the line then what I hear next shocks me, “Okay  bye.” I then hear the click and look at the phone seeing that he hung up on me.

Handing the phone back to Aubrey I kiss her cheek. “I love you.” She leans down and kisses me. “Love you too.” I look at her and see that she is dressed cute. “You going somewhere?” She nods, “Dadda, taking me pizza.” I smile and nod before kissing her, “Have fun. Mommy is going to stay here.” She nods and gets up walking away.

I am upstairs in bed ready to go to sleep when I hear the door close. I hear feet on the stairs and I hear Aubrey’s door open and the baby monitor. “Night Princess.” I hear the door close again and footsteps go downstairs. A couple minutes later I hear footsteps again and another door open. I hear Aiden’s monitor, “Night son.” I hear the door close and then I see Austin come in. “You eat?” I nod and watch as he strips and gets in bed.

I turn on my side and close my eyes. Both men in my life seem to be mad at me. Never saw this coming. I don’t ever know what to do. I sigh and close my eyes again letting everything drift away and myself go into a better place.