Life changes.

Back to December

Christmas was a month ago. I have been in here since the day after Christmas. Austin and Alex drove me here. Alex kissed my cheek and hugged me telling me good luck. He went back to the car as Austin kissed my cheek. "Get Better Ally." He handed me a rose and looked so sad when he walked away from me and got back in the car before waving at me and driving away.

It has been good here. I feel so much better. I don't feel like I have to drink anymore. I don't feel like a drink will make me feel better anymore. I have a lot of time on my hands to think and write songs.

I get out today and am so happy. I can't wait to go home and get back to my life. I can't wait to show the songs I wrote, one of them most importantly. I grab my suitcase and pack everything up. I look around my room and see how empty it is now. I hear a knock on my door and look over to see the counselor, "One more meeting before you go?" I nod and follow him to the room.

Everyone is already sitting and ready to go. I sit down and watch as the counselors sit down and then smile, "Ally will be leaving us today. She has done a great job while here and know she will do great out in the world again. Anything you would like to say Ally?" I nod and look around at some of the people I have become close to this last month. "I want to say thank you for everything. As you know I have two little kids at home and I hope I can make everything up to them. You know things are rough between me and Austin. I honestly don't know what is going to happen between us but I hope I can at least make up for everything I have done. I will miss you guys but I am happy to get home and work everything out to my loved ones. I will remember everything you taught me and I can't thank you enough for helping me and being kind to me." I hear a knock and see the receptionist smile at me, "Time to go sweetie." I smile and stand up and give my hugs and goodbyes before walking past my room and grabbing my bag. I follow the receptionist down the hallway to the entry where the doctor hugs me and smiles, "You will be fine." I nod and smile at her, "I know." She opens the door for me as I walk out and see Alex and Austin standing there.

Alex comes over and hugs me tight. "How are you?" I smile, "Good." He kisses my cheek and grabs my bag as he walks to the car. Austin comes over with his hands in his pockets, "How are you feeling?" I smile, "Good." He nods with a small smile, "That is good." I nod and look at him. He moves to the side, "We should probably get going." I nod and follow him to the car. I get in the passenger seat as he gets in the back. I look in the rear-view mirror on the way to our house and see him leaning against the seat with his thinking face on. Alex nudges me and I turn away from the mirror.

We arrive at the house and I see Hanna's car. I get out and Alex grabs my bag and heads toward the house. Austin smiles at me and places a comforting hand at the small of my back as we walk up the stairs and through the house. I stop in the hallway when Aiden sees me and comes over and wraps his little arms around my legs. I look back at Austin in shock and he smiles and shrugs. I bend down and pick him up, "How are you baby? I missed you so much." He smiles his cute smile, "mommy." I look at Austin again who just tilts his head at me. I hug him to me and smile as a tear falls down my cheek. I didn't know I missed this much while I was being stupid. I place him down and he takes off into the living room. Hanna comes in and smiles before hugging, "Good to see you back to yourself." I smile, "Glad to be back to myself." She pats my back before walking back into the living room as Aiden calls her. I look at Austin and he just smiles.  I walk into the living room and see Aubrey who looks up at me. She stares at me before running behind Austin. I sigh and bend down at Austin's legs. "Aubrey sweetie, I am so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. I love you so much." She pokes her head around Austin's legs but doesn't say anything. I hate seeing her like this again. "I love you baby. You are my baby girl. I am so sorry. I just needed help to feel better. I didn't mean it baby. I like you a lot." She steps away slowly but holds on to Austin's leg. "I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry I hurt you baby. I hate seeing you hurt because of me. I will do anything to make it up to you and make you feel better." She looks at me, "wanything." I smile and nod, "Anything." She looks up at Austin then back at me, "Ice cream and dolls plus mooe." I laugh and nod, "Of course baby. How about I also throw in a new doll and new clothes for it and a full day of nothing but you and me doing whatever you want?" She smiles and walks over and hugs me slowly, "upset." I nod, "I know baby, I'm sorry. I don't expect anything." She nods and hugs me before stepping away and walking to go play with her toys.

I look at Austin as he nods towards the steps. I follow him up the steps and into our room. I see my bag placed against the wall. "How is everything Ally?" I sit down on the bed, "good, really good." He nods, "No more drinking or partying all night long?" I shake my head, "No. I don't need to." He nods. "Do you want to stay here?" I nod, "I would love that." He nods. He starts to walk away and I sigh, "Can I play you something?" He shrugs and nods before sitting on the bed as I grab my guitar and start to play the familiar tune.

I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever, We small talk, work and the weather, Your guard is up and I know why. Because the last time you saw me Is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die. So this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night," And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December all the time. These days I haven't been sleeping, Staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side. Realized I loved you in the fall. And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye". So this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind I go back to December all the time. I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, So good to me, so right And how you held me in your arms that September night The first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking, Probably mindless dreaming, But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand. But this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December... It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind I go back to December all the time. All the time.

He looks at me and sighs. I place the guitar down and watch him. He runs a hand through his hair, "That was a great song Ally. You got almost our whole relationship in it." He looks at me and smiles a soft smile, "I am glad you understand what you did was wrong and that you wish you could turn it all around. I miss you too Ally but..." He looks out the window before slowly standing up and looking at me, "I understand you are working hard and trying but honestly it is too late to apologize." He walks over and hugs me before kissing my cheek and walking out the door.

I stare at the now empty bed as I swallow the tears.

I hope you like all the updates. Please review.

Also if anyone knows any good books to read, please let me know I would appreciate it. I will also take any good movies to watch if anyone has any ideas.

1babyt