Life changes.

Mean

I finally got Aubrey to calm down. She is laying across my chest with dried tears on her cheeks, finally sleeping. I rub my fingers through her hair as she sleeps. I watch her and shake my head. How could Ally say something like that? She couldn't mean it, could she? Aubrey is the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't imagine my life without her and Aiden. I place a kiss to her forehead before wrapping my arm tight around her and closing my eyes.

I hear my phone going off. I look down at Aubrey holding tightly to my shirt with her tiny fists as I grab my phone and answer. "Hello?" I hear a sigh, "Austin, what is going on? Why was Ally sleeping in front of my door? She won't tell me anything." I sigh and look down at Aubrey before whispering back, "She said something she never should of, I kicked her out." I hear movement and then a sigh, "What did she say?" Aubrey whimpers and I rub small circles on her back. "Ask her." I hang up and look down at Aubrey whimpering and starting to cry again.

I sit up and bring her up with me. I cradle her in my arms and rock her slightly. "It's okay baby. It's okay." She hugs my shirt tighter to her as she cries harder. I sigh and kiss her head as I rock her. I can't stand seeing her like this. I start to hum to her trying to make her feel better.  When it hits me, I need to sing to her. She always calms down when I sing to her. I rack my brain for something to sing to her. Ally sang it to Aiden a few times. This fits perfect for Aubrey.

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret I'd give all I have, honey If you could stay like that Oh darling, don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little Oh darling, don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart And no one will desert you Just try to never grow up, never grow up You're in the car on the way to the movies And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off At 14 there's just so much you can't do And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots But don't make her drop you off around the block Remember that she's getting older too And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school Oh darling, don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little Oh darling, don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred And even though you want to, just try to never grow up Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home Remember the footsteps, remember the words said And all your little brother's favorite songs I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone So here I am in my new apartment In a big city, they just dropped me off It's so much colder that I thought it would be So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on Wish I'd never grown up I wish I'd never grown up Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up I could still be little Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up It could still be simple Oh darling, don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little Oh darling, don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple Won't let nobody hurt you Won't let no one break your heart And even though you want to, please try to never grow up Oh, don't you ever grow up Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

She looks up at me and slowly smiles. "Princess forever?" I smile and kiss her head, "You will always be my princess baby." She nods against my chest and curls up. "Love you daddy." I smile and kiss her head, "I love you too baby." She looks up at me, "Mommy mean." I sigh and wrap my arm around her tighter, "No baby, mommy isn't mean. Mommy is having a hard time and is lost. She loves you and your brother so much." She shakes her head as she lays down on my chest, "She mean." I sigh and kiss her head. "She just isn't herself princess." She shrugs and curls up against me. I rub circles on her back trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I hear soft snores and look down to see Aubrey asleep.

Aubrey thinks her mom is mean and she isn't. Ally is amazing and sweet and kind. Ally is an amazing mother and friend. I love her with every ounce of my being. She is my light that always makes me feel better. Aubrey is my sunshine that lights my world up but Ally gave that to me. Ally will always be a huge part of my life. She will always mean something to me. Aubrey just doesn't realize what is going on. Aubrey doesn't realize that her mom is having a hard time and is trying to figure something out. I wish I could help. I wish I could take everything and fix it. I know the way we are living right now is wrong. I know the way we are behaving is horrible. I know that Ally is working through something and is having a hard time. I know yelling and fighting is getting us nowhere. I feel horrible looking down at Aubrey holding my shirt like her life depends on it as tears line her cheeks. I feel horrible how Aubrey see's her mom. I hate the way Aubrey feels about her mom. I just wish Aubrey understood Ally is not herself right now. I wish she understood Ally is gone. I just hope Ally makes it back to herself. We all just want the old Ally back.

I hope you all are loving all the updates. I only have a few more test and I am done with school for three months : ) Lots of updates