Life changes.

it's too late to apologize and moving on

It has been a few weeks since I came back. I was sleeping in the guest room but Aubrey started to ask questions so Austin suggested I sleep in our room again. It was weird at first but we settled back into the comfortable sleeping arrangements. I missed sleeping next to him. Aubrey and I are making up, she is getting comfortable with me again. Austin told me she is afraid of me hurting her again and thinks I am mean. That hit me like a knife but I promised myself I would work until I can get things back to normally between all of us.

Alex got me seeing a therapist. I go once a week to talk about life and what made me start drinking and going downhill in the first place. I have only seen her twice but she seems nice and like she wants to help. Alex is working on a new album but won't tell anyone what the songs are about. Alex and I decided to quit modeling. I agreed to do one final performance for the lady. She was so upset that we quit but said she understood. I am slowly getting my life back together.

I look at the clock and sigh as I get up. I get a shower quickly before putting on a pair of sweats and t-shirt. I pull my hair up in a bun and walk downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and see Austin cooking breakfast. I smile, "Need some help?" He turns and looks at me before shaking his head, "No thanks, I got it."  I nod and walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I grab some crackers and sit down at the table to eat them. He puts the plates on the table and looks at me, "You still sick?" I nod, "Yeah, I called the doctor and she said its weird but she guesses it could be from not drinking. She told me to see my doctor if it doesn't ease up soon." He nods and walks over to the fridge and brings me a ginger ale. "I keep these here." I smile up at him, "Thank you, I didn't even see it there." He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes softly before walking out the kitchen to get the kids and feed them.

He walks in with Aiden in his arms and Aubrey on his hip. I grab Aiden from his arms and place him in his high chair. Austin places Aubrey in the seat and starts to cut her food up. I start to feed Aiden his food. My phone goes off and I look to Austin who nods telling me to go get it. I get up and walk into the living room to grab my phone. I see Alex calling and answer, "Hey, what's up?" I hear him laugh, "Did you forget you have an appointment today?" I sigh and sit on the couch, "Yeah I did." I hear another laugh, "Well I am on my way. I remembered, so get ready." The phone goes dead. I pull it away from my ear and stare at it. "Something wrong?" I turn and see Aiden in Austin's arms and Aubrey wiping her hands before running off. He places Aiden down and comes to sit next to me, "You okay Ally?" I nod, "I just forgot I have an appointment with the therapist." He nods and leans back, "I have the kids if that is what is bothering you. Go ahead and go." I laugh and shake my head, "Thanks but Alex called and told me I have an appointment and he is on his way." Austin laughs and leans his head against the couch, "He is on top of everything." I nod and stand up, "I am going to go get dressed." He nods and watches the kids play as I turn and head upstairs.

I leave my hair in the bun and switch my big t-shirt for a more fitted v-neck t-shirt. I change my sweatpants for a pair of white denim jeans. I slip on my flip flops before grabbing my sunglasses and walking downstairs. Austin turns and smiles, "Your done already?" I laugh and nod, "Yeah." I sit back on the couch with him and watch the kids play. I turn to him and sigh, "Do you think I can ever fix this?" He looks at Aubrey and nods, "Of course you can. She is young Ally, she probably won't remember half of this when she gets older." I shake my head and look at him, "I didn't mean about her Austin." He looks at me and sighs, "I don't know Ally." I nod and watch him stand up and head to the music room. "I just need a minute." I nod and watch the kids for a second before following him down the hallway to the room. I see the door is opened a crack and I listen in.

I hear the piano playing a soft but sad melody. I then hear the voice I use to dream about start to sing.

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground And I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait You tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around, and say (that) "It's too late to apologize (it's too late) " I said, "It's too late to apologize (it's too late) " I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you And I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothin' new (yeah) I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue, and you say "Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you, but I'm afraid... "It's too late to apologize (it's too late) " I said, "It's too late to apologize (it's too late) " "It's too late to apologize (it's too late) " I said, "It's too late to apologize (it's too late) " I said, "It's too late to apologize, " yeah (too late) I said, "It's too late to apologize, " yeah (too late) I'm holdin' on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground

I hear a bunch of keys gets hit at once and realize he has laid his head down. I sigh and shake my head. If it is the last thing I do, I will fix what I messed up between us.

I hear movement and walk back down the hallway and to the couch. I see him come down the hallway a few seconds later and sit down. I hear the doorbell and smile, "That's Alex, I should be going." He nods, "Have a good session." I stand up and walk to the back of the couch when I see Alex turn the corner and smile, "Hi." Aubrey runs over and jumps In his arms and he spins her around before placing her back down, "Uwcle Alex." I smile and he laughs as Aiden wobbles to him. He picks him up and spins him around before placing him down and laughing. "Ready to go?" I nod and start to take a step when I get dizzy. I stop and take a deep breath. Alex looks at me concerned as I shake my head and start to take another step but the dizziness gets worse. I feel light headed and then I feel myself hit something hard and voices yelling my name.

Sorry I found a great book I started reading and I got addicted. I am sorry I didn't upload, I was spending time with my family and relaxing.

1babyt