Life changes.

Surgery

I’m in the waiting room sitting in an uncomfortable blue chair. Austin smiles at me before handing me a cup of coffee. He kisses me before sitting down next to me. I take a sip and set it on the table beside me. Austin stands up and looks at me. I shake my head and he pulls me up and sits down pulling me into his lap and wrapping one arm around me.  I lean against him and place my head on his shoulder. I feel him kiss my hair and I look up at him smiling. “He will be okay Ally. He is a fighter.” I nod, “I know and I am still pissed at him but…” He kisses my temple, “But you have never seen him like this and you don’t know what to do.” I nod and lean my head back against him as he rubs my arm lazily.

I look up at the clock and see an hour has pasted. I look at Austin and he is staring at me intently. I giggle and it makes him smile. “There’s that smile.” I smile and he leans in kissing me. “Ally, you can’t worry about him like this. It’s not good.” I start to protest and he holds his hand up, “Hold on baby, I love you and don’t get me wrong I am worried about him too. However we have to take care of ourselves, we have kids to think about Ally.” I nod and he kisses my forehead, “Let’s go get something to eat.” I shake my head and he looks at the wall with the television on it and see’s Alex’s number and smiles. “He is just now going in. You need to eat.” Standing up he grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room and towards the elevators.

Once in the elevator he presses the button and pulls me to him and kisses me passionately. I feel a moan come out and he smirks as he pulls away as the elevator dings. He checks the number and pulls me out and down the hallway towards the cafeteria.  I look at the food and sigh. Nothing looks good. He smiles and comes over, “How about the pizza?” I laugh and nod, “Looks to be the only safe option.” He laughs and gets three slices and puts them in a box. We walk towards the drinks and I look at the water before deciding to get a bottle of Pepsi. Austin takes my drink and pays before walking towards a table.

I get my slice and start to eat. I look around and see a few nurses down here with their phones. I laugh a little and continue to eat. Austin grabs my hand and I look at him and see his slices gone and half his soda as well.  I shake my head and he laughs, “I was hungry.” I finish mine and feel him grab my hand. “Come on, let’s go back up.” He grabs the box and his soda as I grab mine. On the way out he throws the box away and we head back to the elevators and up to the waiting room.

I sit down in the uncomfortable chair and look up at the television to see Alex is still in surgery. I look around and see this little kid and she reminds me of Aubrey. I smile and Austin grabs my hand, “I know, I thought the same thing.”  I look at him and smile. He is amazing, he really is. Most guys would not wait for his fiancées ex to get out of surgery. He would not worry about someone who he knows his fiancée is attracted to. I smile and lean over kissing him. I pull away and that smile of his reaches his eyes. “What was that for?” I smile, “Because you are amazing and I love you.” He leans in and kisses me before moving to my ear, “I love you too baby, Forever.” I smile and lean my head on his shoulder with a yawn. He looks down at me with those eyes and I feel myself melt a little. I see the care, worry, and angst in them. “You tired?” I nod and he takes his jacket off and throws it over my shoulder as he lazily rubs up and down my arm and sings softly in my ear.

I see Alex laying on a table. He looks weird in the shower looking hat covering his amazing hair. He looks scared, weak, and helpless. I walk closer and see him hooked up to machines and it makes me feel bad for him. I forget everything that is wrong with us right now. I walk closer and grab his hand. The machines start beeping frantically. I look up at the machines and at him scared. People show up and start yelling orders. I look up and see the heart machine is flat. I look at Alex scared. I see him getting paddled and I step back with my hands over my mouth. I hit a wall and slide down the wall crying. They paddle and paddle and nothing seems to work. I watch as the paddle is placed aside and the doctor look at the clock, “I’m calling it.”

I feel someone shaking me and I look up scared and wide eyed. Austin looks at me worried. He searches my face and pulls me into his arms, “Shh, it’s okay baby. Its okay.” I look up at him and he looks back searching. “What happened?” He shakes his head, “You started mumbling and moving around. I knew you were having a bad dream?” I nod, “You want to talk about it baby.” I shake my head, “No. Just hold me.” He kisses my head, “My pleasure.”

Ten minutes later I hear the lady at the desk, “Mr. Northman.” I look at her as she hangs the phone up, “He is in recovery and will be taken back up to his room in a few.” I nod and lean against Austin. He kisses my head and holds me. I see the doctors come out a few minutes later pushing a bed. I watch as the bed moves down the hallway. I look at Austin and he kisses my head, “Come on baby, let’s go see him.” I nod and stand up and stretch before handing Austin his jacket back. He throws it over his arm and puts an arm around my waist as we walk out and head to Alex’s room.

I see the door open. I poke my head in and the doctor smiles, “Come on in.” I smile and walk in with Austin behind me. I lean against the wall as the doctor finishes looking Alex over. He places the blanket down and turns to us smiling. He looks back at Alex before looking at us again, “The surgery went great. He is doing great. He should be able to leave in a couple days.” I smile and shake his hand after Austin, “Thank you.” The doctor pats Alex’s leg and turns walking out.

I look at Alex. He is laying the bed and it’s like in my dream. He looks breakable and helpless. Austin walks closer. “How you feeling?” Alex shrugs, “I can’t feel anything.” We laugh and Austin smiles, “It’s the drugs.” Alex nods and leans his head against the pillow. I look at him, “Do you want us to go so you can get some sleep?” He opens his eyes and shakes his head. “Na, I can sleep later.” I sit in a chair and watch as Austin starts a conversation with him. I see the old Alex slipping back in. I see him coming back. Walking closer I sit on the edge of Austin’s chair and watch the two interact.  

Hours later I reach over and grab Alex’s hand. “Get some sleep. We will be back.” He nods and smiles, “Thanks for showing up and caring.” Austin fist bumps him, “Anytime. You have done so much for us.” Austin turns and walk out. I reach over and grab my phone and jacket. I start to walk by his bed. “Ally?” I turn and look at him. “Thank you. It really does mean a lot.” I shake my head, but he looks at me, “I mean it Ally and I mean what I said before I went in. “I never should of let you go. “ I squeeze his hand and smile, “Get some sleep.” I take a breath and walk out the room. I see Austin and he kisses me before grabbing my hand and taking me to the car. I watch as he pulls away and I am worrying about Alex but at least he made it through surgery and is going to be okay. I am going home to see my kids.