Life changes.

Trish

I hear my phone going off and I reach over and dig it out of my purse. I see a text from Trish and open it up to read it.

Have you heard Alex's CD?

I sigh and type back a quick,

Yeah.

Not even a second later my phone is ringing. I pick it up and place it to my ear knowing who it is. "Ally, Oh my god. Is it just me or is this CD sounding like it is about and meant for you?" I shrug and close my eyes, "I have no idea Trish. It sure sounds like it though." I hear ruffling and then, "I am coming over." I sit up and sigh, "Trish. The kids and Austin are asleep in the living room. I don't want to wake them. I am fine." She sighs and I hear more ruffling, "Ally...." I wait to see where she is going to go with this, "You know I love you?" I can hear the question in her voice, "I know Trish, I love you too." I hear her swallow. "You know I love you and you know I love Austin. Your kids are great and I love them like they are my own and I couldn't imagine a world without you and Austin and those kids but..." I wait again and sigh as I lean against my pillow. " I just think you should talk to him." I go to talk but she speaks up quickly, "I know there has been trouble there and I didn't like how it was when you guys were together but I just really think you need to talk to him. If this album is about and meant for you then I think you owe to yourself and him not to mention Austin to talk to him about it. I am not saying anything is going to come from this. I know you love Austin and I know you guys have been through a lot and have lost your way and fought back to each other but I think you owe it to everyone to at least talk to Alex." She takes a deep breath and I go to talk but she cuts in again, "Ally, some of those songs are... They are strong. I don't know where his mindset is now but from what I can tell from the songs he has gone through a lot and I think that guy is drowning. I don't think he knows how to get out of this or what to do. I know I should be standing up for you and Austin but he is my friend too and...Ally, I was literally crying through some of those songs and I know they have nothing to do with me. I really thing you owe him a long and open talk. "

I sigh and lean against my pillow with a nod, "I know Trish. A lot has happened between all three of us. I love Austin. I have always loved Austin and yes a lot has happened there but we have fixed it and are moving on. I couldn't imagine a world without my kids, Austin and Alex. I don't know what I would do without all of them and you and Dez. I know how those songs sound and the mindset that seemed to be going own through them. He had me a few times too Trish but I just don't know what I can do. I mean I don't want him sad and I don't want him upset, but what can I do? I can try to talk to him but if his mindset is some of those songs then I don't think talking to him will get us anywhere." I sigh and close my eyes, " I just want everyone happy." I hear a sigh, "Ally, you know what the right thing to do here is. I love you and I have always know you to do what is right. I hope are the same Ally I know and will do what you know is right." I sigh and look out the window at the sky, "Oh, don't give me the guilt trip." I hear a laugh, "I'm just saying, you know it is the right thing." I sigh and nod, "I know." I hear a little laugh, "Are you doing okay with the whole CD?" I shrug, "No one knows its about me, so...." I hear a sigh, "Yeah but Ally, you know." I sigh and look at my bathroom wanting a shower so bad. "To be honest, I really don't know Trish. I feel like I am confused and lost. I love Austin more than anything. I want to be with him. My heart and brain tell me to be with him but then part of my heart has always been with Alex. Hell, my brain has told me many times that Austin is a bad choice for me. I will end up hurt and alone if I stay with him but then it changes it tells me Alex is a good choice for me but not logical." I sigh and lay across my bed, "My brain and heart change so much. Then these songs have my brain over thinking everything even more. I love Austin. Trish, you know I love Austin but I have to admit I have been afraid of marrying him sometimes. I am afraid of what is to come." I feel better knowing it is out. I hear a laugh, "Ally, with what you and Austin have been through it is normal. You have to go with your heart sweetie and what you feel is right. I support you either way." I sit up confused "Trish, what are you talking about? I love Austin. Yes I get confused and sometimes I think about Alex and I think about what his songs say but I don't get what you mean, I am with Austin." I can hear her smile, "I know sweetie. I know how you feel. I just called to check on you. I love you and tell the kids I love them when they wake up. If you need me, call me. But Ally, you need to talk to Alex no matter what. You owe it to everyone and it is the right thing to do and you know it." I sigh and nod, "I know. I will."

I hang up and sigh pushing myself up off the bed knowing what I have to do. My neck is itching from lose hair so I grab my towel and turn the shower on. I take my clothes off and step in the shower. I wash my new hair and smile at the feeling. I wash my body off quickly. Once done I turn the water off and grab my towel. I dry my hair and wrap the towel around my body. I walk out to my closet and see I need to do laundry. I grab a pair of jeans that I haven't wore since before Aiden was born. I put them up on my legs and breath in deep and squeeze into my pants. I look in the mirror and smile, "I forgot how much I love you." I laugh and reach in grabbing a white muscle shirt. I pull it on over my white bra and sigh at how tight it looks against my boobs. Since I have only one other shirt and it is very low cut I decide to grab my black leather jacket Austin bought me so I would quit wearing his, I throw it on over the muscle shirt and grab a pair of mid-calf flat boots and pull them on over the bottom of my pants. I run a brush through my hair and it dried pretty straight with a volume and just some curls on the edge. I grab my sunglasses and purse. I put my glasses on and walk down the hallway and down the steps.

I see Austin and the kids still asleep. I grab a pen and paper and write Austin a quick note.

I had to go out. I love you and will be back soon. Thank you so much for today. I will bring dinner back with me.

~Ally.

I grab the bags in the hallway and place them in the hallway closet so the kids wont get in them. I look at Austin and the kids one last time before walking out the door and closing it softly before locking it. I walk to my car and get in. I bite my lip as I look at the steering wheel. I place the key in the ignition and start the car up and back out of the driveway. I look at my house one more time before I put the car in drive with a sigh.