Life changes.

Figuring it out part 2

I walk over and stand in front of her. "Ally?" She shakes her head, "I don't know if I can be that Ally anymore Alex." I smile and look at her, "You are still that Ally. She never left. The drinking and partying is what he is talking about." She shrugs, "I know but..." I smile and grab her hand, "If this is what you want, then it will happen." She shrugs, "I don't know." I smile and pull her away from thhue wall, "You can do anything if it is what you want to do." I look into her eyes, "Now is this what you want?" She nods and looks up at me. I smile and kiss her cheek, "Then we will all figure it out together." She nods and kisses my cheek, "Thanks for helping." I smile and shrug, "It's what I do." She laughs and nods, "Yeah, it kind of is isn't it?" It feels good to see her acting like her old self some again. She looks up at the stairs and then back at me, "I should probably go talk to him." I shrug, "If that is what you want." She looks at the stairs and then me, "Yeah, I will be right back." She walks past me and up the steps. I hear a knock and then the door open as I sit down on the couch.

Ally's POV....

I knock on the door and then open it. I see Austin sitting on the bed staring out the window. I walk in and close the door. I lean against the door as I watch him. I sigh and look out the window as well, "Austin?" He moves his head some but doesn't look at me. "Austin, can we talk?" He looks at me and I can see the anger, sadness and hurt in them. "What could we possibly have left to talk about?" I sigh and push myself away from the door, "I know I screwed up a lot. I know I messed up." He nods and looks back out the window, "No kidding." I sigh and sit on the edge of the bed. "I am sorry for the way I hurt you. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for drinking, partying, being out all the time, not coming home for days, for just disappearing and not telling you. I am sorry for putting you for all the crap I put you through. I am so terribly sorry for saying everything I said to you and about you and Aubrey." He looks at me and sighs, "Sorry doesn't make it all better Ally."  I nod, "I know. I know that I can never make up for everything I have done and everything I have put you and our kids through but I am willing to try if you will let me." He looks at me and sighs, "Ally..." He looks back out the window before looking back at me, "It's not me you have to make up with." I nod, "I am going to try." He nods and stands up.

He starts to pace, "I have a few questions though." I nod and look up at him, "Go ahead and ask them, I will answer them honestly." He sighs and starts to pace again, "Why didn't you just talk to me and tell me what was going on?" I shrug, "I knew you would tell me everything would be okay and to not worry. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to have you tell me a lie when all I wanted was to feel good and feel better." He stops and looks at me, "I don't make you happy anymore?" I shake my head, "It's not like that Austin. You are amazing and you do make me happy still. I love you but you have been to busy with everything else and I got tired of being lonely and unhappy so I found something that made up for that. It didn't argue and fight with me, it just made me feel happy." He starts to pace again before turning back to me, "Do you really regret ever dating me?" I sigh, "In a way yes. I blamed you for everything that I was disappointed with and mad about. I blamed the way my life turned out on you but I also love dating you. I love the dates and the stealing of kisses and the way you can just make me smile and laugh. I love our kids and without you I wouldn't have them." He looks at me, "So you do regret dating me but you love what I gave you?"

I sigh and stand up, "I love you Austin I do but I never thought my life would end up like this. If I didn't date you then I wouldn't of gotten pregnant and end up here at this college with everything I have going on in my life going on but if I didn't date you then I wouldn't have the fun times and the romantic time and our kids." He looks at me and I can tell he is trying to be strong and not show what he is feeling but his eyes show it all. He is feeling hurt, used and betrayed.

He starts to pace again as I watch him trying to figure out what to ask. "Do you regret having Aubrey?" I sigh, "She is the same thing Austin. In a way yes because of where I am and how my life is but I can't imagine my life without her, I love her so much." He looks at me like I am crazy with tears in his eyes, "How can you love something so much but regret it at the same time?" I look at him and shrug, "I don't know. You can really say you don't regret even the tiniest bit having her?" He nods and runs his fingers through his hair, "Yes. I love her and Aiden with everything in me. I do not regret them one bit. They are the best thing that happened to me, they are my life. I can't imagine my life without them. I love them so much and when I hold them in my arms I am the luckiest and happiest guy in the world." I look at him in shock and awe. I never knew he felt like that about them. I always thought he would feel the same way as me. I always figured he would see them and me as ruining his career. He doesn't think that at all, he sees them as giving meaning to his life.

He paces some and then stops and looks at me, "There is only one question that I need answered, it answers everything else." I look at him and nod. "Do you even want to be with me anymore?" I stare at him and wonder myself what the answer is to that question. When he nods and turns, "I see." I shake my hand and grab out and grab his wrist to stop him from leaving. "I love you Austin." He shrugs, "I guess love isn't enough anymore."