Mistakes of our past | Rhekker

Chapter 35- Photo Album

"Yeah thanks Sharron, I'll see you tomorrow" Connor said in a hushed tone into the phone, looking over to Ava on the sofa.
After speaking to Connor and Ava, Jay and Hank has gone down to Med to talk to Goodwin about the incident. They had little to work with, all security taps were long gone after three years. Sharron had offered to take Sophia for the night, Connor agreed knowing that Ava wasn't in a good head space right now.
Connor had carried her from their bed to the living room to try make her eat and drink something. She lay in such a defeated position, not having enough energy to move.
"Avery, sun?" Connor said to her, bending down to her view. Connor had practically forced fed Ava a cheesy toast, half of which still lay cold on the plate; after her skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Ava eyes were still glass over, but they swivelled to find Connors face. Pulling herself into an sitting position, she tapped the cushion next to her. Connor sat with her, ready to wrap his arm around her, but before he could Ava let her head fall into his lap.
"Ave" Connor smiled down to her, happy to see her childish side back. Ava smiled lightly up at Connor, glad to see him smiling. "How are you feeling after today"

Ava's eyes drifted away to the front door, not wanting to see Connors face. Taking her chin in between his thumb and index, he forced Ava to turn and look at him.
"Ava"
"Horrible" she cut him off.
"I feel like a monster Connor, I killed someone" she blurted.
Ava brushed her hair off her forehead, feeling sick and nauseous at the thought.
Connor held the back of her neck in his hand, making circler motions with his thumb behind her ear, Soothing her worried head.
"Do you blame me" Ava asked quietly, her eyes starting to water.
She wasn't sure how he was going to react when he came into their bed rooms, if he'd be angry with her or not.
"Of course not my love" Connor bent down to kiss her forehead.
Taking her hands in his, "I blame whoever took that vile and made you do such a cruel thing. I blame whoever is hurting my family like this"
Feeling relieved and reassured at Connors words, Ava sat up on his lap, cupping his face in his hands, "How do you feel about to today"
Connor finally let his emotions out after the day, the pain he felt was ineffable, hot tears pour down his face. Silently slipping a hand into Connors hair, Ava leaned into his chest.
Connor pulled Ava closer to him, holding her tight knowing he was safe in his arms from whoever was doing this to him. He cried into her shoulder until he felt he couldn't breathe, gasping for raspy breaths.
"Shh, baby, breath" Ava pulled away, trying to sooth him. "Just like this" Taking his hand she placed it on her chest, taking deep steady breaths she got him to breath with her.
"My love, I'm sorry someone's doing this to you" Ava cried slightly, wiping his tears "you don't deserve this, not one dose"
Connor rubbed Ava's side slightly, finding comfort in her warmth. Connor kissed the side of her head, "Who did I save to deserve you" he whispered into her curls.

Wrapping a blanket around Avas exposed shoulders, he slid her off his lap, giving her another kiss.
Confused by what was happing her watched as Connor went over to a bookshelf, high up in the top corner hid two large black photo album. Returning to the sofa silently Connor sat down, returning Ava to her spot on his lap.
Connor opened the book carefully, it being the only remainder of most of his family.
"This was my first baseball game, aged 6, my dad took me. When I made the first home run of the season he picked me up on his shoulder and carried me back to the car, showing off how talented his son was" Connor explained, looking at the photo of himself on his farther shoulders.
Ava rested her head in the bend of Connors neck, placing a loving hand on his shoulder, relising this was Connors way of keeping his farther alive; through the stories and memories they had.

"This was my baptism, my dad nearly dropped me after I came out of the water" Connor smiled, laughing lightly at the imagine of his fathers face panicking holding baby him, looking completely baffled as to what to do. The next image was a clear one of baby Connor in a relatives arms.
"You didn't tell me what a cute baby you were" Ava mentioned, looking at Connors chubby little face.
"Between my cute baby face and your beauty, no wonder Sophia is such a cute kid"
Ava smiled into Connors neck, studying the photos.
Connor turned the page and gazed at it in silence.

"This was my seventh birthday party. I was coming to show my dad these photos when he died" Connor said quietly.
"He told me that my mother wasn't their, that she had been through a depressive episode and hadn't left her bed in weeks. I argued that she was their, being a doting mother that she was. When I checked the photographs through, they told a different story, that she wasn't their. All my life I blamed my farther for never being their, for my mother killing herself , that she was driven to it by his cheating. And then when I go to tell him that he was right, she wasn't who I made her out to be, he died" Connor said calmly, but with salty tears running down his face.
Using the corner of the blanket Ava lightly damps Connors cheeks, mopping up his tears.
"Your tickling my noise" Connor told her sniffing, smiling at his loving girl.
"We'll go visit your farther tomorrow, if you want" Ava suggested, knowing how difficult this must be for him.
Connor nodded supportively at the idea, turning onto the next page; he returned Ava head to its spot.

"This was my mum, one of the few photos I have of us as a family" Connor pointed to a small print out. It was Elizabeth, a four or five year old Connor, and a three year old Claire, with a holiday Santa clause. "Claire looks a fair bit like Sophia in that photo"
"She dose" Connor smiled, having never noticed that, "They do say the first born looks like the dads side"

Looking at the clock it was just gone 11pm, "Connor we should get to bed" Ava kissed his neck.
"Why?"
"We have work tomorrow, remember"
"Are you sure you feel okey to go in?" Connor asked after her.
"I'm fine, are you sure your able to go in?"
"Yeah, we always knew someone murdered my dad, this wasn't really a shock" Connor explained, rubbing Ava side.

The pair made their way to bed, holding each other close after the tiring day they had had. Arms wrapped around Torsos, as fingers slipped into hair, they kept each other close. The house was silent as the pair drifted off to the sound of their head beats.