Mistakes of our past | Rhekker

Chapter 76- Bottle

Connor lay on the sofa, gazing up at the ceiling emotionlessly. Hank has dropped him to Will and Nat's and Connor had let himself in, it was late and the house was dark. He lay on the sofa, not having the energy to leave the house or walk upstairs.

Connor heard keys at the door and jumped up.
"Ava?" He gasped, looking to the door.
Natalie stood in her long winter jacket in the door way, her hands on her bump, the cold storming behind her. Tears stared to drip down Connor face as he put his face in his hands. Without speaking Natalie closed the door behind her, taking off her jacket she sat next to Connor, wrapping him in her arms.

"I'm sorry" he apologised, as Nat rubbed his back.
"We're going to find her" Nat whispered into his ear, "I know it"
Connor stayed in Natalies arms, it helped to have a familiar person nearby.
"Will's bringing the girls in now"
Connor pulled back suddenly, wipeing his eyes.
"They shouldn't see me like this" he sniffled.
"Connor it's okey to be upset"
"I know, I don't want to worry them" he shook his head, drying his eyes.

The door opened before them and Connor took one more second to compose himself.
"Pa" Sophia came flying over to him, throwing herself into his arms.
"I missed you" she kissed his cheek.
"Oh I missed you two princess" Connor hugged her close.
"I think Amlieas looking for a feed" Will said, shutting the door behind him.
"I bought formula" Nat gives Connor a reassuring smile.
"I, I never learned how to use that. Ava was breastfeeding all the way" Connor said quietly.
Natalie nodded stiffly, "I'll show you"

Connor led Sophia upstairs to Owns room where she had also been sleeping. He got her changed and washed her face like Ava always did.
"Come here, Princess" Connor pulled Sophia into his arms, cuddling her in his arms before she lay back in her sleeping bag.
"Goodnight" he brushed her hair off her forehead.
"Storie*?" Sophia asked.
Connor gazed down at his daughters happy face, he'd do anything to keep her smiling.
"Okey, only a quick one" Connor reached around to pull out a book from Owens library.
Gaze in grown at the book in his hand Connor smiled.

The velveteen rabbit
By Margery Williams Bianco

"Mumma likes that one" Sophia pointed to the rabbit on the cover.
"She dose" Connor breathed, shakily opening the book.

*

When Connor fished his first chapter off the book he looked down to see Sophia fast asleep, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest. He gently tip toed out of her room, closing the door behind him.

Connor came into the kitchen spotting Natalie with Amelia in her arms.
"Sorry, Sophia wanted a story. Ava normally-" Connors voice trailed off as he took a sharp breath.
"Bottles"
"Bottles" she nodded, towards to stove. Natalie had laid out several bottles on the countertop and had water boiling.
Natalie laid Amelia down in her portable crib and returned to the work top.
"So you do a level scoop per bottle, and then fill it with water up to the line" Natalie switched off the stove.

Connor carefully measured out the powder and water into the bottles. Natalie silently helped him screw on all the lids.
"And how we shake" she took a bottle and shook it vigorously in her hand. Connor chucked and did the same.
"And then we just have to cool them under cold water" she explained, running them under the tap.

Connor anxiously looked between his daughter and the bottle in his hand.
"Here, sit down, it might make it easier" she suggested, guiding him to a chair.
"Check the temperature with your wrist" Natalie showed him and Connor dapped some milk onto his skin.
"Yeah, that's lukewarm" he confirmed.
Natalie picked Amelia up and gently placed her in Connors arms. He'd held his daughter countless times but he'd never thought he'd be feeding her.
"Like this?" Connor questioned, fumbling with the bottle. "She took it so easy for Hailey" Connor frowned.
"Just" Natalie tilted his arm. After a little fuss Amelia took the bottle, drinking away.
"She might need to feed more often, formula isn't as filling as the real thing" Natalie warned him.
"Okey" Connor nodded, not taking his eyes off his daughter.
Natalie rubbed his shoulder before leaving them to have some alone time together. Connor stared down at his daughter, tears trickling out of his eyes.

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"Story*?"