Darlene sent me an invitation for her new house warming. It's been a while since I went to parties, so I decide to come on this one.
I feel exhausted with my hectic week. I need to relax.
"This one is cozy," puna ko sa bahay ni Darlene.
She has lots of houses— she had house warming in a year. Lagi siyang may party kahit nga nagpapabago lag siya ng interior design ng bahay niya.
Nasa kusina kami, she's instructing her maids regarding the drinks. Ako naman pumasok lang para uminom ng tubig.
"Oh yeah, my interior designer was your classmate in college. Anyway, congratulations din pala with your business. You finally made it," balik niya ng papuri sa 'kin.
I sincerely smile at her. It took me years to have my big break. At first I fail, hindi ganoon tumatak ang unang mga collections ko. I thought of rebranding and focus on what's in but I just can't. Nilaban ko ang lingerie at sleep wears ko.
Nauna akong lumabas sa kanya. Umupo lang ako sa bakanteng upuan sa receiving at uminom kasama ang mga kakilala ko rin naman. Almost everyone here is familiar to me. Just the same circle since highschool.
"Ngayon lang ulit kita nakita. You changed alot Paris," puna ni Jennifer— one of Darlene's closest.
I crossed my legs and lean back a little. "Is the change bad?" I'm kidding but she acted so defensive— shaking her head frantically.
"No, no. G..good nga, eh."
Lahat talaga sila pinaplastic ako. Irene was the only person from highschool na hindi ako pinaplastic but she's nowhere to be found now. Nakatago pa rin. And I don't think everything is still the same between us— my cousin hurts her.
"Calm down. Ang defensive mo naman," sabi ko sabay inom ng alak.
I caugh how they throw glances with each other like a secret message. I smile bitterly against the glass. Naalala pa kaya nila ang mga sinabi ni Iros noon?
Are they judging me because of it or they just hate me?
After few more shots I exited myself to the pool area. I need air.
Pag-upo ko sa wooden bench ay kaagad akong napatingala sa langit. We're older now— many things had changed. Wala na 'yon, they probably forgot about it. Kung hindi man, why should I worry? I was a victim that night. I didn't deserve such humiliation, no one does.
"Mag-isa ka."
Mabilis napalingon sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Nagkagulo na naman ang mga hayop sa loob ng tiyan ko. Sa tuwing nakikita ko siya, nawawala ang katinuan ko. I am willing to forget about what he told me.
"Nandito ka." I sound so excited that I want to strangle myself. He hurt you for damn sake, Paris!
Umupo siya sa armrest ng bench— sa kabilang dulo. Inalok niya ako ng hawak niyang beer pero tinanggihan ko.
"Kaibigan ko ang may-ari ng bahay."
Nilayo ko ang tingin ko sa kanya. Oo nga naman, kaibigan niya si Darlene, bestfriend ni Celine na ex-girlfriend niya o baka girlfriend pa rin niya. Masyado naman siyang private sa lovelife wala akong nababasa sa social media about his love life, just countless dating rumors.
"Ang tahimik," sambit niya na ikinatawa ko.
"Lasing ka ba?" tanong ko.
Wala akong maisip na dahilan para kausapin niya ako maliban d'on. He is mad at me, that's so clear. Hindi rin naman kami nagpansinan nang birthday ng Lolo niya.
