Paris
"What are you doing?"
Tinaas ko ang sketch pad para ipakita kay Eaton ang bagong collection na plano kong ilabas. I'm at his condo. He called me to watch a movie but I end up working.
"A maternity collection?" His brow shoot up, suspicious.
I started scribbling again. "Yes."
"Are you pregnant?"
Nanlaki ang mata kong napatingin sa kanya. Napatayo pa talaga at napamewang. "Mukha ba akong buntis? Tumaba ba ako?"
Sinuyod niya ako ng tingin sabay irap. Hinila niya ang kamay ko paupo. "You don't look pregnant. Nagtatanong lang ako."
I gasp in relief. Akala ko talaga lumaki ang tiyan ko na hindi ko alam. I mean— Iros and I talked about what ifs... He assured me he'll still love me the same even I gain hundred more pounds. But that would be absolute horror for me if that happens. He's hot. Not only fans flock around him but also 10/10 models, influencer— hot personalities. I don't want to be a laughingstock.
"Collection lang 'to walang kinalaman sa akin." Umupo ako tsaka napainom ng wine. He should have taken a hint— iinom ba ako kung buntis ako?
Tumaas ang kilay niya. Umupo siya paharap sa akin. "Hindi mo maiisip 'yan bigla-bigla. There must be something that influence you to make one."
Umupo rin ako ng paharap sa kanya. "Okay, fine," suko ko. I took a deep breath. Napahawak pa ako sa balikat niya. He move closer like I'm going to say a big news.
"I want to stop getting contraceptive injection. I mean hindi naman na ako bata. Iros has been opening a conversation about having a child lately. Kaya balak ko sana pagkatapos ng season ay susubokan na namin."
After saying that sumandal ako sa arm rest ng sofa. Inabot ko ang sketch pad. I thought about me being pregnant. I don't know if I am ready, but no one is that ready having a child if everyone would be honest. There's always a surprise having children. I am with finding it out. I won't be ready. I'll be tired... but as long as I am with Iros.. I'll be fine.
"Sugar, are you sure with Iros?
"What do you mean?"
Huminga siya ng malalim. "Alright. Iros is hot, handsome, popular and rich. But so are other men on your circle."
"E, Iros loves me. He is more than just his physical looks or money. Kung makita mo lang how he treats me at home wala ka ng masasabi sa kanya." Iros is a perfect partner. He annoys me most of the time but he's the one... I know he is. If I want someone to be the father of my children... It's only him.
"I saw it, Sugar. I fully understand na mahal ka talaga ni Iros. Ang point ko lang naman ay hindi ba sobrang aga pa para magbuntis kayo? You live together just months in a relationship tapos ngayon anak na kaagad? Can't he be a husband first before becoming a dad?"
"It's not his idea. Akin nga lang 'yon."
"Because you feel that it's what he wanted. When will you choose yourself first, Sugar? You love him for years, ngayon ka nga lang niya minahal ng ganyan. Enjoy that first."
Eaton's words doesn't really affect me but it made me think. Siguro nga tama. I'll give it more time. Get to know Iros more, and I think I need to see how he handle his emotions bago ako magdesisyon. Lahat ng nakikita ko sa kanya ngayon panay kabutihan. And it is maybe because bumabawi pa rin siya. I didn't see him mad... or annoyed with me. I didn't even saw him sad. He's all positive this days.
