Accepting You

Chapter 72 - Grumpy

When Lily returned to bed, Lizzie was rolled onto her side facing away from Lily. Lily didn't think anything of it and climbed right in, hugging her from behind. She kissed Lizzie's neck softly and didn't get a reaction so she figured Lizzie had fallen asleep. She was quite proud of that, to have tired Lizzie out that much.

What she didn't know is that Lizzie was awake.

Lily settled quite quickly and it wasn't long before Lily's soft breathing tickles the back of Lizzie's neck. The slow, rhythmic rise and fall of her chest is felt under the covers on Lizzie's back.

Lizzie rolled over to her other side so that she could watch Lily. In that movement, Lily's arms wrap tightly around her, pulling her in and trapping her. It's a heartwarming, but also heart clenching action seeing that even unconsciously, Lily could make her heart skip a beat.

Lily's soft features pull at Lizzie's heartstrings. She finds herself smiling as she trails a finger along her cheek. She's always loved watching Lily sleep. It's one of her favorite moments to steal.

But then that smile fades as Joseph's text comes to mind. She thinks long and hard about her decision. Despite weeks of thinking about it, she hasn't gotten anywhere close to what she will do. She's known there would be a deadline and it's approaching quickly. Her brain hurts from the endless debates inside her mind and she felt emotionally drained. It wasn't until today that she felt like she was recharged...all from allowing herself to love Lily and be loved.

Lily's arms tighten around her comfortably as if subconsciously she knows Lizzie is in distress.

It's nice that all these years, there's one thing that didn't change. From the first time they slept in the same bed to every night until this moment, Lily always hugged her. She didn't lie when she said she hugged things in her sleep. Lizzie smiles at the thought of when she first had to throw all the pillows to the ground so that Lily would have to hug her instead of the pillows. Now she didn't have to do that. She could have Lily's arms whenever she wanted.

Tears brimmed her eyes at the thought that maybe she wouldn't have that anymore. If she chose to give Lily up to save her career. If she chose to lose the love of her life to protect her.

"I hate that I love you so much," Lizzie whispers. "I can't give you up. I can't let you go. I'm selfish...I can't imagine living life without you."

Lily mumbles in response. Nothing coherent or anything that made sense but it made the tears fall on Lizzie's cheek. It didn't matter if she made any sense or not, Lizzie knows it's words of affirmation and consolation. Because that's the type of person Lily is.

So Lizzie sobbed silently until she cried herself to sleep, clutching onto Lily like she was going to lose her.

It wasn't until the next morning that Lily took notice of Lizzie's change in behavior. It was like she had gone right back to the weeks prior to Lily's birthday. But this time, it was different.

She had ran a bath for Lizzie to wash off the sex from last night. She cleaned the sheets when Lizzie got up and it wasn't until making Lizzie breakfast that she took notice of Lizzie's grumpy behavior.

Lizzie was being extra clingy. All morning, she stayed close to her and some part of her was being touched and held by Lizzie. What was odd is that when she tried to return the action and show her some love, Lizzie snapped at her and pushed her away. Minutes later, Lizzie would return and link their pinkies or touch their thighs together – the most minimal contact that was possible.

Lily thought that she was angry about last night. Maybe she was too rough or took it too far, but then she shook her head of the thought. Lizzie liked it and she came. Multiple times. In the nearly two years they've been together, she learned Lizzie liked being dominated and Lily liked dominating her... she looked so cute spread out for her.