Accepting You

Chapter 69 - Blessings

Lily held her. That's all she could do.

Lizzie had come home and ran straight into her arms without a word. She wasn't sobbing but her whole body was shaking. Lily had thought she was cold – the weather has picked up going into November – but her hands were warm and she didn't seem to be sick.

She had asked her what was wrong but Lizzie didn't answer. Her only response was to hold onto her more tightly, even when her knuckles were already white from clutching her.

She didn't know what had happened. The day was great. Her parents didn't make a scene and it seemed like they actually enjoyed their time and got to know Lizzie. Even up until her audition, Lizzie didn't seem like there was anything wrong.

What could have happened in the short two hours that they last spoke?

An hour of just holding each other seemed to bring Lizzie out of whatever stressful event had happened. Instead of asking her about it, Lily pulls back, rubbing the sides of her arms and gives her as best of a smile as she could.

"I bought Italian home," Lily says. "I got your favorite orders like that one pasta that tastes like a mushroom's ass."

To her delight, Lizzie breaks out into a little giggle from her comment. "It tastes like mushrooms. Mushrooms don't even have asses."

"They have a back so they definitely have butts," Lily argues. "If mushroom ass tasted like something, it would be your pasta."

Lizzie hits her arm as she rolls her eyes. After a moment, her smile fades and a solemn look overtakes her features again.

Lily knew not to push. Lizzie would tell her when she was ready so she had to give her time, and space if she needed it. It's only fair; Lizzie always gave her what she needed when she was upset so Lily had to be patient just as Lizzie has been for her.

"I can't imagine life without you," Lizzie says in the end. She looks at the palm of her hands in her lap. The corner of her lips curl downwards and creases on her forehead appear. Her eyebrows crease together and the look in her eyes told Lily that she is lost in thought again.

"You won't have to," Lily whispers, quiet enough that she didn't snap Lizzie's attention out of her concentration but also loud enough to ease her out. "Soon, we'll make it official. Okay?"

Lizzie nods in response, but Lily could tell she nodded just to nod, not really a nod in an answer to her statement.

"C'mon. Let's have dinner," Lily says and eases her up off the couch. She takes Lizzie to the kitchen and seats her on the island while she reheats the food.

Throughout dinner, Lizzie was really distant. She barely touched her food and her gaze didn't leave her plate. She barely made any conversation and when she did, it would a nod or a hum in response to something Lily said. But Lily kept talking. She told Lizzie how great the day was with her family and thought that it went really well. She told her how she thought the audition went and whether she thought she would get the part – she didn't, but she still held out hope. The last time she had a last minute audition, she landed a multimillion dollar movie deal.

Once they finished dinner, Lizzie went to shower without a word. Lily cleaned up and packed away Lizzie's food, deciding she would be hungry later. By the time she was finished washing the dishes, Lizzie still hadn't come out so she settled on the couch and turned on the TV.

She sat and waited, not really paying attention to what was on. When Lizzie did come out, she sat on the chair at Lily's desk that was tucked away in the corner of the apartment. After a moment, she decided against it and moved to the couch. Another moment later, she got up and stood by the balcony door with her arms crossed over her chest and biting her finger nail. Minutes later, she settled back on the couch and this time, she put her hand on Lily's thigh.