Accepting You

Chapter 39 - Shout it From the Rooftops

The week goes by excruciatingly slow. After Lizzie's revelation of the fact Lily has never returned the three words, she started to get paranoid.

Lizzie tried to say it more often, seeing if Lily would return the words but to her disappointment, she never did. At first, she thought she might have just been overthinking or mistaken but she wasn't. Lily always had something to say in return but not the words she wanted to hear.

There wasn't a reason she could think of that Lily wouldn't say it, besides the fact she doesn't love her. Not yet. And if that is the case, Lizzie couldn't push her. She wouldn't. It hurt to think that would be the reason, but she had to accept it. She can only express herself to Lily in the ways she knew how and couldn't expect anything in return, otherwise she might drive Lily away and that is the last thing she wanted to do.

Just like the past few nights, Lizzie returns to Lily's apartment after she finished up production for the day and finds her girlfriend hunched over her laptop by the balcony with her head in her hands. The beautiful sunset behind her is missed from the frustration emitting from her body as her eyes are trained to the screen. Her forehead is creased in annoyance and the gnawing of her bottom is swollen from being bitten on, by both herself and Lizzie, constantly. She liked it more when Lizzie was the one biting her lip.

"Baby," Lizzie calls to her as she closes the front door. "I'm home."

At her call, Lily looks up and her eyes immediately light up as she sees her girlfriend walking towards her. "Hi babe," she greets, moving to meet her at the door.

"No, no, don't stand," Lizzie says and rushes into the living room past the couch and meets her at the small wooden desk. It's a desk she rarely used – something she had set up in her brief time of dabbling in streaming and gaming – but now uses as her work space. Lizzie wraps her arms around Lily's shoulders from behind and leans down to give her a kiss.

"Tell me you love me," Lily mumbles, running her hands up and down Lizzie's arms.

"I love you," Lizzie smiles into another kiss. She pulls back, waiting for her to return the words as she's been doing the past few days, but she's instead met with a soft, longing gaze. "What?"

"Nothing," Lily shrugs, leaning back into Lizzie's touch. Her presence and words immediately eases her mind. The stress of doing research and laying out the prospects for her career was taking a toll. "You just make everything better."

"That's sweet," Lizzie says, her heart melting. Even if it isn't the words she wants to hear, the words are still perfect. "What were you doing?" She diverts her attention to the laptop screen and seeing dozens of tabs open. Her email is pulled up with an email from a well known talent management agency that already has a drafted contract for her to sign.

"Work," Lily huffs bluntly.

"Any prospects?" Lizzie asks, leaning in to read the terms.

Lily dismisses it with a wave of her hand. She doesn't mind Lizzie looking or getting involved – she's her girlfriend, after all – but the contract isn't suitable to her liking.

"Lily, they're willing to buy you out," Lizzie gapes at the seven figure offer for the buy out alone.

"Them and five other offers," Lily groans. "On paper they sound nice. Who wouldn't want a million dollars just to sign on? But talking to them on the phone is like talking to a brick wall."

Lizzie's eyes soften at her words. She knows all too well of the sea of demographics filled with caucasian middle aged men who think they know best.

"I think I might be better off on my own," Lily sighs. "But I don't have the slightest clue of what I would do. What's the first step? How do I get auditions? Who do I call?"