Accepting You

Bonus

These are some extra 'scenes' that I felt like didn't really fit into the overall storyline.

Takes place when Julian is just born and Lily + Lizzie are freshly into their motherhood.

Lily sprints into the kitchen, opening the cabinets and drawers frantically. She searches all over, but can't find the small object.

"It's not in its usual spot!" Lily calls in alarm.

"Baby, it's probably in the sink. I washed it this morning," Lizzie calls back, patting their son's back and holding him close to her chest, cooing and humming to soothe him. He's been crying for ten minutes and nothing seemed to work; he wasn't hungry, he didn't need to be burped, he didn't need to go potty, nothing.

"It's. Not. Here!" Lily cries.

"Baby, I can't have two babies crying. Grow a pair and look."

"I'm looking," Lily says through gritted teeth, falling to her knees and searching under tables.

"If I go over there and find it –"

"Aha!" Lily jolts up, plucking the pacifier from Julian's baby seat. She rinses it quickly and dashes over to Lizzie, who has been bouncing the child on her hip.

Lizzie sighs in relief and gladly takes it. "Here you go, baby. Don't cry."

"I'm not crying," Lily huffs, though her eyes were brimmed with tears as her heart cracks with every strained cry from Julian.

"Not you," Lizzie rolls her eyes and pops the pacifier into Julian's mouth. He starts to settle, but after a moment, he bursts into tears again. "Your turn," she says, handing Julian to Lily.

"No! I can't. What if I hold him too hard? I might squeeze his little brains out," Lily says frantically, waving her arms in a way so that she would not hold the baby.

"You did fine at the hospital," Lizzie assures her and extends her arms, the baby crying even louder now that he's suspended in the air.

Lily had been avoiding holding Julian as much as possible. It's only been a few weeks since they have been home and she has managed to avoid it as much as possible. Though, she would sit by his cradle and watch him, hold his hand, and nearly never leave his side, she avoided picking him up. How could she – a 5'10 giant of a being – gingerly hold a baby that is 10x smaller than she is? It didn't make sense. She's clumsy and goofy and she couldn't possibly –

The baby was pushed into her arms and she couldn't move. Her body stiffened and she froze on the spot.

Lizzie smiles, her face showing signs of exhaustion, but the sight of Lily and their child ebbed away all her fatigue. Lizzie guides Lily's hand to cradle the baby, a hand supporting the back of his neck. Julian immediately relaxes, his crying slowly fading.

"You're a natural," Lizzie coos, kissing Lily's cheek who is still frozen, staring down at the baby in her arms.

Lily, entranced by how tiny the baby is in her arms, stares at the little being. His dusty brown hair is only a small tuff on the top of his head.

At that moment, Lily knew she would never not hold her child. Every chance she got, she would hold him. And she did.

Even in moments that Lizzie begged her to set the baby down, for him to learn to be alone and by himself, Lily wouldn't until Lizzie gave her the stern motherly look that she mastered way too quickly. She would always hover, though, and be around. She would constantly check in and make sure he was breathing, let alone being okay.

"Darling," Lizzie whispers, kneeling beside Lily who was slumped against the cradle fast asleep. "Come to bed."

"Hmm," Lily mumbled, her eyes flicking back and forth behind her eyelids.