Shadows of our end - KDA x Male Reader (Original)

Act 1 - 037

"Sorry," she looks at me with a furrowed brow, she only nods slowly, then adds quickly because she is a misunderstanding, "Sorry about lashing out at you, about everything."

She breathes a heavy sigh, "Holy fuck," then with a chuckle. "Lead off with that next time."

I shake my head, "Yeah sorry. But... I think... where the two of us are at now it would be too hard to salvage anything, it wouldn't make sense."

"Yeah..."

"Friends first?" I suggest, "See where it goes from there?"

"Why are you even asking?" she shakes her head, closing her hand she lets the light illuminating her face disappear, "Sorry," she lifts her hand rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, "You made it hard to get here."

I nod, "Sorry about that as well."

"Let's just forget about it, and move on," she suggests with a smile, "We'll figure it out."

"We will," I then ask her again, "But - he is going to give you shit."

"I know," she whispers, "I already told you that he can do whatever he wants - nobody knows yet but I already decided that there is nothing worth there to pursue so I am scared that he might-"

"I can handle him," I glance towards the group, and I notice him watching us through the corner of his eye.

"I will handle him," she breathes out, "He is my problem and I intend to fix it even if I have to do it the hardest way - he only hates you because of our history and he probably betted on never seeing you in this lifetime."

"Whatever," she lifts herself.

I lift myself after her, "Moving on, moving on."

"Yup," then looking at me she twists her lips to the side, closes the distance hugging me, "I missed you," then pulling away before I could properly return it, "I'm glad you are still safe, really glad you got your powers," then with a wide smile, "And you look good, you do."

"Glad to be here."

"See you around," flashing another smile she walks away and heads back to the group.

I stay here for a moment longer - opening the palms of my hands I try to create something with this overwhelming sense of relief. My hands are coated in shadow - able to move my fingers without them disappearing.

Then in the next moment, I fail to keep it up.

Emotions... huh?

***   ***   ***

I am missing out on classes yet again - but heading straight towards Mom sitting on one of the benches she is in a much more comfortable uniform than her work clothes. She blows smoke into the air before glancing at me.

"Morning."

"Good morning," I greet her, "Sleep well?"

"Hm mhm, Sam's been a bit happier having me around a lot more often... I do find myself being more bored so I have been thinking of a lot of things that could help speed the training up considerably."

I then ask, "Can I ask you something?'

"Of course."

"Can you explain how emotions affect my power?"

She nods, "Emotions are a driving force - it doesn't matter whether the emotion is negative or positive because the power is chaotic. Meaning if you are delirious you can accidentally hurt someone, if you are in a fit of rage your powers can lash out beyond your control."

Then gesturing to the cigarette, "I smoke to calm myself as an attempt to suppress the power by surprising emotions."

"Did something happen?"

She nods, "I murdered someone out of anger - I always believed I had full control over it because there were times when I hated someone and didn't ever kill them... it happened so fast there wasn't time to react."

Then gesturing at me, "But maybe that is a part of the power that you need to learn - something I haven't yet mastered. This is a power you can use to mend and maim, you can create life," she lifts her fingers as a little raven appears on it, "And take a life," she crushes it between her fingers.

"Emotion is our driving force - so unless you can control your emotions you might have to find something to suppress it. Or learn how to control them," then with a chuckle.

How am I supposed to control a chaotic power when it is the direct opposite of order? How do you control something like that? If my power can betray me... what about the people around me? What if I am so happy that in my happiness I murder them?

How do I be me... without killing all my emotions just to be allowed to be stronger?

"Can it be controlled?"

She nods, "I believe so - I just don't have another forty years of my life to figure it out let me know," she chuckles, "I hate smoking," she takes another pull.

I glance down at my hands, "I made up with Erica," and then recreating the same thing I did that night, "Because of it I could do this..."

She looks at my hand from the corner of her eye, "Can you manifest a full form?"

I shake my head, "No..."

"Then that will be our focus - if you can cover your entire body with shadows without using it for movement you will be able to do everything that it allows you to do," then stated, "You can manipulate your emotions to force growth, the strongest being hatred and love."

Obviously.

But why didn't my hate for Erica do anything? Because it wasn't hate right? It was me masking all that love and friendship with hatred because if you want to get over something, the best way to do it is to overpower it with something else.

Then again... it still doesn't make sense at all.

I widen my eyes with a realisation, "Emotions... do you think because of what happened between me and Erica is what made the power take form?"

"It isn't impossible," she then lifts herself, "Let's train and see what we can put out today - I have asked Lauren to help with something and will have someone come over to help us with something tomorrow morning."

"Do I go to her office?"

She nods, "Early morning, be there at seven," then gesturing with her head, "For now, let's start with training."