Love isn't always enough A Jordan Knight/ Joey McIntyre fanfic

Chapter 6: Hanging Tough Tour

February 1988:

Jordan and his band have been really busy. He is always rehearsing or preparing for their first headlining tour.

I barely even see him anymore. He has no time for me, and he always has to have security. When I go to his house, he is either really tired from performing and rehearsing, or he's busy working on new dance moves for the tour.

I feel bad for him because he is really stressed, but I also feel bad because I am in a relationship with a man I rarely see. I miss him so damn much. Between my classes and his schedule, we don't see each other more than once a week if we are lucky. 

I am trying to be supportive because I know this is something he wants, and his dreams are coming true, and I am so happy for him. He has a beautiful voice, and when he hits that high falsetto tone, it gives me chills. 

He's that good, his voice is that good. Plus, he's hot, and when he performs, he has his sexy little smirk that always makes me hot when I see his dimples.  

I know we are engaged to be married, and I can't wait until we get married, but no one is even allowed to know that we are a couple, and that is so frustrating that I have to hide my relationship.

When they finally got airplay over, their single life was so good prior to that release. Then fans started crowding around their house, and now they can't go anywhere. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for him and proud that his dreams are coming true, but I am sad for myself because I have a fiance' that I never get to see. 

He is so focused on his musical career, and I just feel left out. Cassie and Brianna, thankfully, also got accepted into Harvard, so I have friends to hang out with it. 

Cassie even called him out on his shit the other night on the phone. She told him it wasn't right the way he was treating me, and he needed to man up and start acting like he had a fiancee'. 

That night he came to campus and picked me up. We drove out to our favorite hiding spot where we use to go make love when we were in high school.

We sat under the stars, cuddled up together, and it was really nice. Then we made love, and he dropped me off at my car. 

I have made a few new friends at college Sarah and Christy. They are in a few of my classes, so I don't feel so alone. I also met Patrick, who is in my study group, and we hang out sometimes. He knows I'm engaged, but I think he likes me.  

Jordan wasn't very happy about us studying together, and I told him you're never around Jordan, and I am in school. I am not cheating on you with him; he's just my friend. I don't have guys chasing me around and standing outside my house as you have with all these fangirls.

We didn't talk for a few days after that argument, then he called me and apologized; he told me he loved me. Things would get easier once they sold their album and they had a real tour. This one was only a few shows. 

I just miss him so much, I was so used to him always being there and then all of a sudden, he wasn't. We have such amazing chemistry in bed, but I want my boyfriend back. 

Jordan and I have only been with one other person besides each other, and that was when we split up in high school. He told me then that he was heartbroken when I dumped him, and he never wanted to feel pain like that ever again. 

Jordan's POV:

I am so tired; all we have been doing for weeks, day in and day out, is rehearsing for our upcoming tour. Tiffany is going to be our opening act on some shows, then Tommy Page on other shows. 

We only have six shows, but a lot of work has to be done to be ready for that. We have three shows at Six Flags and then a show at a festival, a show at an arena, and a show at a music theater.

I sit there and just stare at the music we have been practicing. I have barely been able to spend any time with Stephanie, and I miss her so much. 

This is something I have been working toward for years. Our first album didn't get any airplay, and then finally, this one is. I wrote a few songs for Stephanie, and I let her hear them. 

I love her, I really do, but right now, we are totally under security because of the fans. I can't even go to the store. I snuck out several weeks ago to see her, and we went to our secret spot and cuddled under the stars. We made love, and then I had to take her home.

Sadly I spend more time with my hand than my fiancee' I hate that Maurice won't just let it be known that we are engaged. 

I want to take her to our favorite hotel room, the same one where we lost our virginity together and the same one where I asked her to be my wife and spend time with her. Maurice said it isn't a smart move. 

I just want to go back to the way we were. I want to be famous, and I love performing, but we are trying to get our name out there. Sometimes we get a call, and the next thing we know, we are on a plane heading somewhere to perform.    

I got my brother Dave to go rent that room for me for the weekend, and I am going to spend time with my girl. Just me and her completely alone for the entire weekend. I sent her a letter to her dorm and ask her to meet me at our hotel room Friday evening.

Friday rolls around, and Maurice gets a call; he hangs up and says, "Alright, guys, we have to get to the airport; we have a performance in New York."

"You can't be serious, Maurice?"

"I am serious, we have to leave out very soon."

"I have plans with my fiancee' this weekend, and you knew that."

"I am sorry, Jordan. I told you it wouldn't be smart to do that. When they call and request a performance, we aren't in any place to turn it down. We are working very hard to get you noticed."

"I know, but she is going to hate me for canceling on her at the very last minute." Jordan walks off with his head down and goes to the phone. He dials her number, and it rings three times before she answers.

"Hello."

"Hey, baby."

"Hey, Jordan. I was just packing for our weekend together."

"Um, baby, please don't hate me, but we have to fly to New York. Maurice just got the call right before I called you."

"Oh, okay, it's fine. I will just do something with Cassie and Bri or maybe Sarah and Christy. I was really looking forward to spending time alone with you."

"I know, and I am so sorry. Once we make a name for ourselves, then we can actually schedule things like this, and they won't just be calling for a fill-in cause I'm sure that's what happened. I promise things will get better."

"I know you are trying to make a name for your band. I know it's not easy; I just miss you so much."

"I miss you too, darling. I promise I will make it up to you, we have to head to the airport. I love you, Stephanie."

"I love you, too, Jordan. Be safe and have fun." She hung up the phone and lay down and cried. She held onto her pillow as she cried like a baby. 

She dried her eyes and blew her nose, and called Cassie to see what they were doing tonight, she made plans with all of them to go to a club in town. Sarah and Christy were going as well. 

Jordan felt so bad as he climbed on the plane. Donnie and Joey had tried to ease his guilt, but it didn't work; he slept the entire flight and looked rough when we arrived in New York.