Love isn't always enough A Jordan Knight/ Joey McIntyre fanfic

Chapter 61: Give me two more nights

Stephanie and Jordan left Mohegan Sun as soon as the show was finished. They slipped into a cab and were driven to their Hotel. 

Jordan had a hat on, and Steph had her hair covered in a hat as well. He checked them in, and they went to their room with a small bag. 

Jordan ordered them room service as soon as they got into the room, they were both starved after the concert. 

"You know I love my carbs after a show. I am going to jump in the shower; I will be out in a few. Do you need anything before I jump in?"

"No, thank you, I am fine." I was sitting there nervous, like it was the first night when I lost my virginity to him. It felt weird because Jordan and I were so familiar with each other I could tell you exactly what he is doing at the moment in the shower. We've made love over a thousand times.

I knew why I was nervous; I had buried every feeling I had for Jordan over the last five years since we got divorced. I was terrified that once it was just us back to the way we were before, all of them would resurface.

It took a lot for me to bury them and make everyone believe that I was no longer in love with Jordan, but the truth was I love him; I always had. I was in love with him and Joey. Joey made it easier to bury my true feelings because he is so easy to love. Loving Jordan has always been hard.

I was never able to hide my feelings from Jordan. He knew me too well. Maybe that was the reason he never stopped trying to get me back. Now, I am about to lay all my vulnerability out for him to see. 

I was so consumed with my inner thoughts I didn't even hear the shower turn off. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. Jordan would see right through me, just like he saw how he turned me on sitting there in a towel.

He said it exactly the day we were talking. The reason I was ignoring what I really wanted to do was that I was still in love with him.

Joey knew I loved him, but Jordan would see that I was still in love with him the first time he kissed me. He is the only person I have never been able to hide things from because he has known me for so long. He knows everything about me, he knows me inside and out better than anyone else.

Jordan stood at the door, leaned up on it and watched me as I fought the war within my brain. He knew I was battling myself over right and wrong.  

He was wearing a towel, the same way he was the day on the bus. He walked over and sat down beside me. I looked up at him as the water glistened on his chest and shoulders, knowing he lets his upper body air dry. He looked deep into her eyes as his thumb rested on her chin.

He leaned in and slowly kissed her; he knew when she was having anxiety issues, that would always calm her down. He kissed her softly, slowly, and so passionately. He had dreamed of kissing her for the last week. It was even better than he imagined. When she calmed down, he slowly released from the kiss.

"Hey, calm down, Stephanie. You know I know you better than anybody else. Joey would think it was because you were feeling guilty because you were here with me. I know you better than that. I have always known you were still in love with me. The more you told me you weren't, I knew you were. It was more you trying to get yourself to believe it. You did pretty good at hiding it from everyone except me."

"It doesn't even matter, Jordan. We are divorced, and I can't be in love with you anymore. I am married to Joey, and I am in love with Joey."

"Oh, I know you are in love with Joey, but you are also in love with me. Listen, stop worrying. I know the truth, you know the truth, and that's all that matters. This will remain our secret, just between us. Stephanie, I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I will not hide my feelings from you, Joe, or Evie."