Love isn't always enough A Jordan Knight/ Joey McIntyre fanfic

Chapter 55: Life on the road

So, we have been on tour for about two weeks, it's actually really nice having all the guys around and just having fun. This tour life isn't for everybody, but we love it. The kids love all the attention they get from the guys and from the crew.

Joey sings their song, Stare at you forever, and he says that song is for me. He even sings it to me in the Motorhome in bed. He says that song was written for me, the bad thing is the way they perform it in the show. 

Jordan sings the song, If you go away, which he also wrote for me before we divorced, and then Joey sings Stare at You after it. 

Donnie asked me one day, "Does it bother you that your ex and current husbands sing those songs about you the way we have it arranged in the show?" 

I kinda looked down and back up, "It just feels weird; I know Jordan wrote that before we divorced, but it's still hard to hear it from him. The song Joey sings makes my heart melt, especially when he looks at me when he's singing it."

"I know it's weird to be around both of them; you were with Jordan before he was a teen heartthrob. I know it was a lot on your relationship, Jordan wasn't willing to compromise to make your marriage work, and yet, Joey is."

"Look, Stephanie, when someone isn't willing to do whatever is necessary to make it work, then they aren't the right person for you. Yet, when you find that one person who flys in for just a few hours, for your birthday, and for your kid's birthdays, and the one who has told us all if it ever gets to be too much for his relationship, he will choose his marriage without a second thought. That's the person who is going to go above and beyond to make you happy." 

"I know that, don't get me wrong, I loved Jordan so very much, and I tried to make it work, I really did, but when he told me I didn't need to work, I felt as if he didn't even consider my education or my career."

"I told him that same thing when he told us you were fighting and had an attitude. I was like do you blame her?"

"Yea, I just felt like the three years I sat at home and waited for him while he was touring the world, I supported his career, yet I wasn't allowed to have one. I know it was a cowardly way to leave him as I did, but I knew if I looked into his eyes and saw his heartbreaking, I would have never been able to leave. So, I left for me, I didn't want to have to depend on a man. I worked for the same company and climbed my way up the corporate ladder, but then I saw Jordan again, and my whole career went out the window."

"I was a little shocked to hear that you and he were back together, you were getting married so quickly, and you were pregnant. Then, to beat it all that, you quit your job and moved back to Boston."

"It was the hold Jordan had on my heart even when I left, he was all I thought about for eight long years. I dated and had a few partners, but no one even came close to Jordan and the love I felt for him."

"I can understand that. I was stunned when I heard you had left him. I knew you were crazy about him, and he was so heartbroken when he came home to find out you were gone. It was what you needed to do, and no one ever blamed you for that."  

"I was completely head over heels, and I felt that Jordan didn't care about my dreams. When we reconnected, he did really well at first. He finished that tour, we got married and had Michelle. Everything was going great, the next tour was only a few shows, but then the next one was even more. I was pregnant with Stefan, and he was scheduling all these shows to start two months after having him. He didn't see his Dad for seven months, except for a few weeks here and there."

"Then, you were reuniting, and he told me about it, but just like, hey, this is what I am doing. He never even asked me what I thought about it. So, he was scheduling all these solo shows but then now going to be in a studio and me at home with two babies. Things got rough; we were arguing and just not happy, So Jordan scheduled more shows, and that was it. I almost left him before I did, and we talked. He told me he would try to be home more when he was working on his solo albums, but then it went back to the same as before. So, I packed our bags, and when he come home, I put my foot down. He couldn't make a choice, so I made the choice, and I choose the kids and me. I left and allowed him to pack his stuff, then I returned home, and he went to Jon's."