Love isn't always enough A Jordan Knight/ Joey McIntyre fanfic

Chapter 17: Three Years later

June 1994:

Stephanie's POV:

Stephanie had been working at the company for three years, she had been promoted to lead financial advisor. She enjoyed her job and her career. She had struggled for the first year after she left Boston. The second year was rough but not as bad, and by the third, she just wasn't able to sleep. 

Jordan had not tried to contact her. He had called her parents a month after she left. He asked them to relay a message to her which said, "Hey Stephanie, I am sorry for not putting your thoughts and feelings in front of my career. I just want you to know I understand now, and I'm not mad at you. I love you, and I want you back, I will do anything. I will be home if you want to talk. Stephanie, please give me a chance to fix this, I miss you, and I love you forever and always.

Stephanie smiled as she read the message from her father, he had contacted Brianna and Cassie, but he didn't ask them for my location or a way to contact me. He just asked them to tell me he still loves me. 

Brianna and Cassie moved to New York after they graduated. We go out a couple of times a week. Sarah and Christy moved to New York last year, so we all hang out. 

I know the band is going through a shake-up. Jon left the band, and they canceled the end of the tour. Jordan still looks so handsome nobody knows he is her lost love. 

She heard rumors that they are breaking up, and she felt bad for him. She had wanted to run back to him so many times, but she couldn't do that. She had made her decision even tho it had broken her heart; she had to live with her choice to leave. 

So every morning, she got out of bed after a long sleepless night of crying and nightmares; she fixed her coffee and would shower. She even started listening to different music so she wouldn't hear his voice and know the songs that he had written about her. 

She had to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. She was upset that fate had not brought them back together. 

She had to turn and run the other way when she was walking downtown on Broadway, there stood Joey. She couldn't let him see her; he would tell Jordan where she was. 

The few times they had performed here in the city, she had steered clear of anywhere they might appear. Talk shows, radio stations, hotels, and restaurants to ensure she wasn't seen. 

She had gone to work and straight home. One time when they were in town, someone knocked on her door; she was so afraid to answer it, but she looked through the peephole, and it was Bri and Cassie. She opened the door and pulled them inside. 

"Um, Stephanie, how can fate work to bring you two together if you hide? Fate can't bring him to your door because he doesn't know where you are. If he did, he would have already been here."

"I know, and I still miss him like crazy. Most nights, I cry myself to sleep, and when I do fall asleep, I normally get woke up by nightmares."

"It's been three years, you know, he has been getting some, even if it's just one-night stands. The best way to get over a boy is to get under another one. You need to get out there and find someone, anyone to just sleep with."

"I can't just sleep with someone I don't have feelings for, just to try and move past Jordan. I left him, I don't understand why I am still such a mess; he didn't leave me; I left him. If I had stayed, we would be married and probably have a kid by now. Yet, I'm a twenty-five-year-old single woman. I only care about my work and have no life besides the few times you guys drag me out."

"Steph, sweetie, you were in love, and to be honest, you still are. Either way, you have to get back on the horse; you need to actually move on and get back out there, or you have to run back to him and beg him to take you back."

"I can't do that, not now. I have heard rumors about the band possibly splitting up. It would be like I waited for his career to end, then I want to take him back, so I guess for me, there is only one option, and that's getting back out there." 

"Alright, then, we are going out tomorrow night; let's try to get you laid." They spent the rest of the night talking and eating takeout. 

They went out onto the balcony she sat there just staring at the stars. Wishing Jordan was the one sitting here with her, looking at the stars. She wondered if he was looking at them missing her like she was or if he had already moved on.

Jordan's POV:

He has been focused on nothing but the band since Stephanie left him. He has a notebook full of songs he had written. He had not changed a single thing in their house, hoping she would come back to him.

He had called her family and given her dad a message, but since then, he had heard nothing. He then saw her friends Cassie and Brianna and asked them to tell her he still loved her and nothing. 

Every night he stared into the crowd hoping to see her face, he would run straight into the crowd and kiss her in front of everyone, but night after night, he was disappointed. 

Jon had been having struggles with his panic attacks and anxiety, so he has been thinking about leaving the band. She has been gone for three years now. 

I barely sleep, and when I do, I dream of her. So, I had to start taking medicine to help me sleep. I miss her so damn much; if she believes in fate so much, why isn't it working. He looks out every hotel, he scans every crowd everywhere for his beautiful redheaded girl.

After year two, I finally slept with a couple of girls from England just to see if it would help, but it only made it worse. 

He would lay in bed and wonder if she was alone or if someone was there to please her. Was she happy or depressed like him? Had her life gotten back to normal, or was she dealing with their separation like he was? He missed her so much, and he loved her, but then he also hated her for hurting him as she had done. She had broken him as no one had ever done before. 

He just tried to do his best to keep his head up, and with the issues the band was having, he wasn't even sure where they stood.

He had made so many trips to New York to look for her, he remembered she said the job was in the city, and he had gone to dance clubs, bars, restaurants, and even Central Park. He had never gotten lucky enough to find her.  

One day he would find her, or at least he hoped he could. He would always go back home. The band was struggling and had canceled the last part of their tour. This sucks so bad, this is what she wanted if she would come back to him, he would take her back and quit the band. He only wanted to be with her. 

He had made enough money to buy them any house she wanted, he was a millionaire, but that money meant nothing when the one person he wanted to share it with wasn't there.

He sat outside on his back patio, just looking up at the stars. He wished Stephanie was here with him; they always loved to look at the stars together. He wondered if she was looking at them like he was or if she had found someone to stargaze with.