Peyton
I had just spent the last few hours, in the airport and on the plane, thinking and overthinking the events of yesterday to the point of exhaustion. What everything came down to was that Janet was absolutely right. Whether or not my dad was willing to grasp the concept of accountability was not something that I could stress myself over. But in terms of what I would do moving forward? Accepting his behavior was no longer an option for me. I've wasted enough time harboring old feelings and pain that was benefiting me nothing. I said what I needed to say, for the most part, and now it was time to let those old feelings go.
I had no idea that our conversation last night would've happened the way that it did, and that I would've felt and reacted the way that I did. So in that same vein of unpredictability, why would I stress myself over all of the what ifs for what happens next? It honestly didn't matter if he did what he damn well should. What does matter is how I handle him for the sake of my own peace of mind moving forward.
The other relationships that I have with the rest of my family remain intact; my brother, my nieces and I were good. My connection with Janet is now my top priority and focus. She took a chance on me, all the way back to our initial meeting, and has been taking chances ever since. How much care she showed me this weekend is nothing to sweep under the rug. She could've easily said that it was too much and bailed, and possibly still could. But instead, she showed up for me and got me through a tough night and morning. She was genuine, patient, and just so damn perfect. She was it for me.
Being back home in Atlanta from North Carolina has never felt better to me. It was always good to spend time with my brother and nieces, but after the last 24 hours? I needed another 24 hours to bounce back. Peace, quiet and solitude was needed. Mentally and emotionally, I was tired, and needed to reset and get my mind right.
I sent out the necessary texts to let my people know that I was home. I unpacked my bag, threw my clothes in the washer, straightened up a little bit and went to take a nap after a quick shower. When I woke up around six, I felt a little refreshed. And hungry. I didn't feel like going to the grocery store, so I got some food delivered, and would worry about groceries tomorrow. Peek adulting at its finest.
I was scrolling through IG and black Twitter, because why not. I peeped that Janet had made a few posts promoting the tour and getting back on the road soon to get her overseas fans amped. I already hated being away from her for a week. Lord knows what I'll do for two whole months. As I continued to scroll, I received a text message from my lady herself.
Janet 🍓❤️: Hey Honey, I've landed. You good?
Me: Hey Beautiful, I'm better now that I know you've made it safely.
She hearted the message, but something wasn't adding up. Her flight was supposed to take off around four o'clock. Checking the clock on the stove and doing timezone and flight math, there was no way that Janet had made it home that quickly.
Me: Wait, how have you landed already?
Janet 🍓❤️: 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Janet 🍓❤️: You by yourself?
Me: Yes, but what's going on? Are you okay?
Janet 🍓❤️: I'm fine
Me: Where are you?
Suddenly, I heard the keypad on my front door beeping and the door opened. Only three people had my new door code since I changed it after the break up: Nico, Tanae, who was sick, and...
"I am where my heart led me." I heard her voice answer me as the door closed behind her.
I turned toward my entryway and then she appeared around the corner with an apprehensive look on her face. "Damita Jo? What in the world are you doing here?" I asked.
