Samcro Princess

Chapter 41: Saying Goodbye

Harley

I was at the office early. I continued my mission, keeping everything moving. The longer they were inside, the longer they were in danger, and the likelihood the head count would be smaller when they got back. Bobby was headed to Stockton, I was hopeful it would be fruitful, but not quite sure what to expect. Face had been at the club late last night; I didn't disturb him when I left.

I heard a few bikes roll into the parking lot, I didn't pay attention to the engines, I was tied up. Maybe I should have, might've braced me for what was next.

Sasha walked into the office with a smile. "They're back" She announced.

"What" I got to my feet with enthusiasm? I was stopped at the door when Jax stepped into the frame. "Hey" I greeted my brother with a warm smile and a hug. "I didn't expect you guys until later." He hugged me tightly, a strong firm hug, and it lingered longer than normal. Maybe this should have been my warning, but I was too damned thankful to see him to read into body language right then.

"I need a minute" he told me, gently taking another step into the office. He looked at Sasha with a nod, dismissing her without verbalizing it. There was power in the nod, Sasha followed her orders. Face slowly stepped into the office after she exited, and I soon noted the matching grim expressions.

The smile on my face melted into a stone and landed at the pit of my stomach. Knowing the intent of them landing behind bars, I knew what news was coming. There was only one question left. "Who" I asked?

"What" Jax asked, surprised I was piecing this together?

"I know we lost some one" my voice quivered. "And knowing who was inside with you, no answer is going to be easy here. Who did we lose?"

"Ope" he whispered.

The wind was knocked out of me. It was no different than if I'd been told Jax. My big brother was dead.

"Pope said he needed a dead son" Jax explained. "I was going to take it --."

"Ope would never let that happen" I was barely audible. I couldn't get a full breath. Tears were at the ready, but they hadn't fallen yet.

"Harley" Jax shook his head. His eyes were glazed, I saw it when he came in, but I couldn't meet them.

"Who knows" I choked?

"I'm calling chapel in ten" he replied. "He's already with Skeeter--."

"I'll call him" I nodded. "Check when to expect him."

"Harley, I'm so sorry" Jax was struggling with his own grief.

"Pope owes me the apology" I told him. "He was going to take one of you. Sounds like this is what Opie wanted."

Jax considered my words for a second biting his lip. "You're right" he told me softly. Jax had clearly had the time to start to process this. This, now? This was him trying to break it to me gently. Gently. How this could be told to me in a way that wasn't excruciating? There was no fucking way.

"You better get ready for chapel" I told him, returning to the files on my desk. I shifted them around as though I was doing something. All I was doing was putting something in my hands. I saw Jax nod to Face and walk out, silently closing the door behind him.

There was just the quiet. If you've ever lost someone you know the quiet. When all you have in your head is the grief and no one is there to block it out. Granted, this was the early quiet. The one where you don't even really know what happened yet, but that first blow is coming for you.

Coming for me it was. Like a volcano preparing to erupt inside of me. I tried to keep it in, but that made it so much worse. I screamed and cleared the desk of, well, anything. I gasped for air, moaning, and wailing. I felt as though my ability to breathe was hindered, part of me was missing. The gentle giant was gone. Face's arms held tightly to my midsection as I cried out once more. He held me tighter and kissed the top of my head.