Life as Troyler

i enjoy the pain

Steele Pov
Every time i try to open my eyes, it doesnt work. Its as if im dead outside but im alive inside. I could hear my sister and my brother beside me. I heard sniffing so i guessed they were crying, i wonder what i looked like from the outside.
I heard doors closing and then i felt someone grab my hand.

"Steele its Troye. Its only me now so eh i guess i can say this. Ive heard when people are in comas, they can hear you, so im hoping thats true, it is in that Hannah Montana episode....anyway. Steele youve always been the strong one of us siblings, when you moved out here i was upset but happy you had found a home perfect for you as i know you never loved Australia!I heard the news and my heart broke. Ive tried to be strong for Sage,Tyde, mum and dad but in reality im as upset as them. we love you and we know and believe you can get out of this. I have to go, the nurse is coming back but ill be back i promise you. I love you"
Troye. My baby brother. I was so proud of him. God i wanted to just scream that i can hear him, i wish i could open my eyes and be with them and see them again but they wont open. He let go of my hand and once again i heard complete silence.
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Troye Pov
I walked out of the hospital and got in a taxi. I hope Steele had heard me, because he needed to know what we were all thinking. We are going back tomorrow again because he isnt getting any medical things done to him, so hopefully we will be able to see him most of the day.

When we got into our hotel rooms Sage and Tyde decided to go shopping with mum and dad, to 'clear their minds' but i decided to skype Tyler, at least see if he can.
To:TylerBae
Free to skype?

After a few minutes i got an incoming call from Tyler
i answered straight away
"Hey tilly"
I smiled at his beautiful face, fuck hes gorgeous
"Babe hey!How ya doing" He asked smiling
"Honestly?Pretty shit" I said, laughing a bit, watching his face drop.
"Steele was in a car crash Ty and now hes in a coma and im trying to be strong for everyone but sometimes i cant be the strong one and i just cant do it Ty, i need you"
and the tears started flowing
"Baby im so sorry. Im so proud of you for being there for everyone but Troye, care about your perfect self. I love you so so much" I noticed tears in his eyes
"Tyler, whats wrong?" I asked confused why he would be sad
"I hate seeing you upset, ill see you very soon remember!"
"Okay, i love you so much Ty"
"I love you too"
He hung up and i walked to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror.
'Your an idiot. Your family hate you. Steele didnt hear you at all. Your a baby crying. Be with your family. Tyler only pretends to love you'
These voices in my head came back from... that night. I couldnt control them. I felt like an idiot, i am an idiot. I got out a razor i found and looked at it.
'Do it, no one cares. If you were in Steeles position they wouldnt care. They would be in Austrailia having a blast without you in their life.'
I let the blade run over my arm. I cried out in pain but...is it weird that i enjoyed the pain i caused myself. I did it once more before hearing my door open.
Fuck.
I ran to the bathroom door and closed it, locking it quickly.
"Troye we are back" I heard Tyde say.
"Yeah im in the bathroom one minute" I shouted
I quickly got a towel and rubbed it on my cuts lightly, i searched my sisters toilet bag for plasters and evantually for one big one, that luckily covers both my cuts. I ran water over the razor and put it back where i found it. I ran to the door but before opening it i looked at myself in the mirror.
'Dick'
was all i could think before running out to greet Sage and Tyde again.
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Troye is so damn sexy my god