Selcouth

[43] - the only win i need

KIARA

The last week has been a fever dream. Or at least I almost certain it had to be. It felt so out of the normal, in the good way but still weird.

And now, we're back in college with student life and reality being thrown in our faces every minute. First day back and I already want holidays again, kill me.

"You had to fake date Stone in front of your family and I didn't get the chance to see it?!" oh yeah, Callum and his drama queen acts are also back.

"As if my brother hasn't told you all about it already anyway" I roll my eyes being fully aware Santi is still having a blast for the whole fake boyfriend thing.

Ironic, since me and Stone were worried he was going to hate every single moment of it. Nope, it has actually became his entertainment of the month.

"Now that you mention it, Liz said you two made a really good job at 'pretending'" he wiggles his brows as to emphasise his hidden innuendo.

Time for a subject change, "What about you and Collins, he was strangely happy when we arrived"

His face contorts, bingo. "He's excited about the games" geez and I thought Lizzie was a bad liar. Finally he notices my 'cut the bullshit' stare, "Okay, okay. We're seeing where it leads us"

"Why am I only now finding out about this?!"

"Because I was freaking out and if I told you we would both freak out and that's a lot freaking out for me!" yeah that does sound like a lot.

Nonetheless my heart warms for these two. They both deserve to be happy and it's clear that's with each other.

See I can be supportive towards my friends' happinesses even though I'm still the most anti-relationships person. At least for myself, for others I'm happy as long as they are too.

Callum and Tyler. Santi and Lizzie. Even Raquel and Erika, even though that will probably take a little longer. My gut is physically fighting with itself against the long belief that young love relationships rarely last.

That has always been my perception. How can two just-recently-turned-adults balance the stress of college with a relationship? It's a lot.

Loving each other is barely even enough to make it work. Not to mention these are supposed to be our best years. What if they waste them with constant fights that should only be a worry when we have our personal lives settled?

That's the type of things that run through my mind. Why I'm so hesitant when it comes about relationships. In anything else im usually very open to jump with both feet and see where it goes. This is the exception.

Not to forget, what if the two people get job offers in different countries. Or get awful unmatched schedules. There's infinite reasons to why starting a serious relationship this early. And even more reasons to a possible ending of those.

Maybe I'm thinking too ahead but shouldn't I? If I was to get in a relationship I'd want to make it a hell of a good one. Even if that meant letting someone in hundred person, because otherwise it won't work.

I don't want to open myself like that for just anyone. Or someone I might loose in a few years and all I will have left is a hole in my chest. Besides the agravares trust issued, obviously.

"Pinch me if you have gone into cerebral paralysis" I blink at Quells' words which bring my back to the present.

Shoot, zoned out badly there. "Sorry, I'm here. What we're you saying?"

"Nothing too important. Cmon, the best solution for overthinking stress is a good ice cream" she motions with her head for me to follow.

We end up in a frozen yogurt store plus all our friends. I guess she must have texted them while we were walking here. I'm really somewhere else today.