Direct Message - A.I 5SOS

Chapter Forty Five

Chapter Forty Five

"What would you like for breakfast baby girl?" Ash asks me while sticking his head in the fridge.

"Don't care," I say quietly while patting Nemos' head.

"Milly," his concerned voice sounds from across the room, "how do I put this right? Listen, I know that you're upset and everything but I want you to get better and to do that you need to do things normally."

"Ash, I can't do things normally anymore! The only thing that I truly love was ripped straight from my fingers. How can I be 'normal' when the only thing that was normal for me was that?"

"Baby girl..."

I cut him off, "Listen Ash, I know you want to help, I get it. But do you want to know something? Before I started dancing, I never talked. Two or three sentences a day was it for me. I had no friends. I liked to be on my own, but when I was on my own I cried a lot. That was when I was four! So, not talking is normal for me because without dance, I am a completely different person."

I stare at Ashton as he takes in everything that I just said. I know this will make him cry. Everything I do makes him cry. I don't know why but it does. Maybe it's that fact that he thinks I'm fragile and when I tell him something deep and secretive, he thinks I'm going to break. It could be anything but I'm not sure on what it is.

After a few minutes, Ashton still hasn't replied, so I place Nemo on the ground and stand up. I grab my crutches and hop out of the kitchen and down to my room. I lay down on my bed and stare at the roof while playing with my fingers.

Suddenly, Nemo jumps up onto the bed and sits on my stomach. I pat his little fury had while he wags his tail in content. I wish I could be happy like that. I wish one simple action could brighten my day enough to keep the smile on my face. But not even Ashton coming into my life is enough to make me smile.

Most girls in the 5 sauce family would say that just looking at a picture of one of the boys makes them smile, but me? Nope. Even having the real life person in my house, cuddling with me, making sure I'm still alive, isn't good enough for me. 

People might say I'm selfish. Go ahead. People might say I'm being ridiculous. Sure.

I just think I'm so depressed that no one can help me.

It hurts to think that. Half a year or a little more ago, I was this normal girl. Had something that I truly loved and was obsessed with. I had lots of friends. Went out a lot. Listened to music all the time. Fan girled about bands with other girls.

And now, the only thing I still do is listen to music. But now, I do it a lot more.

"Baby girl, I'm sorry I said that. I just want to help you but I don't know how. I thought by saying 'do things normally' it might help but I made it worse and now I can see that this is how normal used to be along time ago for you," Ash mumbles while sitting down on the bed next to me and taking one on my hands in his large ones.

"You're right though Ash. I need to do things normally but I can't. It's like I'm missing this huge piece of me that nothing can replace. I don't know what to do anymore."

"I'll help you. We'll help each other. We can both figure out how to find that missing piece and then I will figure out how to fix it," Ash says before pressing a kiss on my forehead.

I snuggle up to his side and he chuckles as I lay my head on his lap. Nemo also comes and lays right next to my face on Ashtons' lap. Ashton starts to pet his little fluffy head, making his tail wag again.

"So, how are you and Niall?" Ash asks, the smirk evident in his voice.

"He's like a big  brother to me. Thank you, so so much for telling him to message me Ash. He's helped me, not a lot but he's definitely helped me."

"So you figured it out then?"

"I know that you are the one that asked him to message me but I don't think you told him to follow me."

"You're right. That wasn't me. Actually, I think he did it all on his own but I'm glad I told him to message you."

"Ash?"

"Yeah baby girl?"

"Uhhh, do you think you could sing to me?" I ask timidly.

"Course baby. How about I also Skype the boys and we can sing any song you want?" he says with a big grin on his face.

I nod my head and sit up in the bed, reaching over Ashton and grabbing my laptop from the bedside table. I flip it open and log in quickly before bringing up Skype. I look over at Ashton who is looking at his phone.

After a few more seconds, he looks up and over to my computer where he starts to type the number in. Before he presses enter, I grab his wrist and pull his hand away from the keyboard. I can feel his eyes boring into the side of my head but I ignore it.

"Milly, what's wrong?"

"What if they don't like me?" I ask quietly.

"They will love you Milly, that I can assure you of. Now, I know the next question you will ask is, 'do I look okay?' and my answer is yes. But I know that if you saw your hair you would kill me for saying yes so I'm going to say, brush your hair out first."

I look over at him and smile at his honesty. I reach up and pull my hair from its ponytail before running my fingers through it. After that I pull it back into a ponytail before looking over at Ashton who gives me a nod before pressing the 'Enter' button.

It rings for a while before it comes up saying 'connecting'. It takes a little while but when the fuzzy picture comes up on the screen, I know there is no turning back.

HEHEHEHEHE! I just LOVE leaving you guys on cliffhangers!

I don't know if this already updated because I left my computer for like 5 mins and when I came back it was like it was published, so if you see this, you have seen the full version :)

I don't know what else to say really. Expect that...

WE ARE ALMOST AT 4K READS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! YAY! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I couldn't have gotten this many reads without you guys so thank you.

Question of the day: WHAT IS THE PLACE ON EARTH YOU WANT TO VISIT MOST AND WHY?

Just comment down below, my favourite one will get a dedication.

Also, please don't be a silent reader! VOTE, COMMENT, SHARE, FOLLOW! ANYTHING! Because it means so much to me when you guys vote and comment. I love reading the comments about how people were finally smiling after hearing what happened to Mikey :( It made me happy to know that I could make someone smile.

So, your challenge is, share this book with someone who you think needs to smile. Make someone else happy and share this book with them and see if it makes them smile after making other people smile :) It would make me so happy :)

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo