Direct Message - A.I 5SOS

Chapter Eighty Seven

Chapter Eighty Seven

"Come on sweetheart, we have to go soon," Louis says through the door in a comforting tone, whilst banging loudly on the door at the same time.

Really isn't making me feel any better at all.

Niall left two days ago. Since then, I've locked myself in my room, I've barely slept and I've not eaten. I've also spent a lot of my time thinking about why I'm acting this way when Ashton means more to me than Niall does. Harsh, I know, but I love Ashton in a different and more intense way than I love Niall.

I've concluded it to two things. The first being that when Ashton yelled at me, I was still on those soul destroying depression pills and he didn't actually leave like Niall did. The second is that I think I've realised that if I lock myself in my room and stay away from the other boys, it means they can't get close to me and hurt me the way the two people I love the most have. They're both on opposites sides of the scale but I both think they're the reasons why I'm acting like this.

And as much as I tell myself to stop because it isn't healthy, the voices in my brain overpower me with so much more strength and power than they had before, drowning me in their words.

"Milly, I have a key now from the front desk. I'm coming in okay love," Louis says softly before I hear the door click and the handle twist.

As I hear the door creak open and a pair of footsteps walk towards me, I continue to stare at the wall. Unmoving. I'm really not in the mood for company right now. I feel him sit down next to me before he places his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. This is exactly what I didn't want. Having someone here to comfort me in my darkest hour will destroy me when they leave and aren't here anymore.

"Oh Milly, everything's going to be okay. Trust me sweetheart. Niall will go and have a few days to think before he realises how stupid he was and Ashton will make this all better soon. I know he will. I know how much he cares about you and I can tell he must have something up his sleeve if he's waiting this long to talk to you."

"Or he just doesn't want to talk to me ever again," I mutter under my breath, my voice holding no emotion what so ever.

"I don't think that's what's going on inside that curly haired head of his Mil. Trust me, it's something big," he laughs before pressing a kiss to the top of my head, "Now missy. I can see you haven't had a shower or gotten changed in two days. I want you to go and have a shower while I pack your things. Then, once you're dressed, we'll get you something to eat before leaving for the airport."

"No thanks, I'm fine," I sigh.

"Milly, I wasn't giving you a choice. Now go," he argues back sternly, causing me to stand up and walk into the bathroom.

Louis can be strict when he wants to be and if he takes over Liam's role as daddy direction then you have to listen to him. You have no choice but to do what he says. Trust me, Calum ignored him once when Louis told him to go down to the store in the lobby and get me some chocolate and Louis went beserk. Let's just say, if Louis asks Calum to do anything now, even if he is joking, Calum does it without complaint.

An angry Louis is a scary Louis. 

After having a quick shower, I wrap a towel tightly around my body before walking into my bedroom, only to find Louis gone, the room completely clean and some fresh clothes on my bed. Including underwear and a bra. Luckily for me, Louis has four sisters or this would get awkward. Also, I'm pretty sure my quick shower wasn't as quick as I thought it was.

Anyway, I quickly get dressed before going into the bathroom and pulling my unwashed hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. We're going on a plane and I really don't want to put any effort into my appearance at the moment. Then I pack all my bathroom things and makeup away in my suitcase before going out to see all the boys standing around the island in the kitchen.

"Hey Milly," Luke says quietly, his voice hesitant.

"Hi Lukey," I mumble quietly, coming to stand next to him.

Louis slides a chocolate bar in my direction and as I look down at it, I catch a glimpse of Ashton from the corner of my eye. He looks as heartbroken and pained as I feel. It makes my heart ache even more and I swear I almost collapse from the pain in my chest. If I wasn't leaning on the granite counter top, I would have fallen to the ground. 

"Alright, we need to go if we want to get to the airport on time. If we don't, I'm sure one of our bodyguards will murder us," Michael laughs, causing the other boys to chuckle as well.

Okay, Ashton giggled slightly but it sounded strained. It wasn't his usual, carefree giggle that makes the sun shine brighter and a smile to find it's way onto my face. It was a strained and heartbroken sound that makes me want to cry whilst I wrap him up in my arms and hold him closer until he feels okay. 

But I can't because he doesn't want anything to do with me and as much as Louis says that that's not true, if it wasn't true, he would have come and talked to me. He would have made some effort to talk to me instead of ignoring me. But you never know, Louis could be right. And he has no idea how much I wish he will be. 

:( 

:(

:(

Guys...I...I have fallen into a pit of despair, grief and heartbreak. I don't think that I will be able to crawl out of this pit any time soon.

And no, it isn't because of this book.

I finally finished Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas (it took me so long to finish because the stress from school made me fall into a reading slump)

But I finally finished it yesterday and I don't think I will be able to go on for the next 9 months guys. It was just so devastatingly sad and it broke my heart into ten billion pieces. 

My favourite couple, ripped form my fingertips in an instant.

I don't know how to go on anymore guys.

I mean, despite knowing the fact that I would probably fall into this pit, I was so pumped to be reading again and so pumped to be reading the Harry Potter series next (yep, guilty confession, I haven't read it before. But before you all murder me, I tried to read it when I was like 10 and it didn't stick so my parents sold the books and then I never owned them till I got them for Christmas and I just had so much stuff going on...and yeah. But I'm reading them now guys so please don't murder me.) 

Anyway, I was so pumped to be reading HP and now, I've fallen into the most terrible book coma. I just want to stare at a wall as I cry silent tears just like I was doing as I read the final chapters that tore my soul from my body before shredding it to tiny pieces.

But anyway guys, I highly recommend the Throne of Glass series. If I wasn't in year 12 and didn't have so many books that I want to read, I would have started reading the series all over again. 

Also guys, please don't forget to go and nominate me for the fan fic awards! I'll put the link down below :)

https://www.wattpad.com/343887547-the-fanfiction-awards-2017-nominations-open/page/2/

QOTC: What is the most heartbreaking book that you've ever read that has made you want to crawl into a dark corner and sob for days?

EMPIRE OF STORM FOR SURE!

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo