Direct Message - A.I 5SOS

Chapter Eighty Six

Chapter Eighty Six

"He's leaving?" I stutter, my voice shaking as I hold back the tears.

"No, I'm sure he's just being over dramatic Mil," Harry sighs before he gets up and walks down the hall towards Niall's room.

"No, no, no," I repeat over and over while shaking my head.

This can't be happening. I can't lose Niall as well. First Ashton and now Niall. I cannot lose both of them. I mean, I'm having a hard enough time without Ashton and then Niall stopped talking to me. Now, he's leaving. I can't do this. Not again.

"I can leave if I want to and I will Harry!"

"Niall, for God's sake! Just stop and listen for a moment," Harry yells again but he's too late and we all hear the door to his bedroom open and footsteps coming down the hall.

When I look up through the tears in my eyes, to see Niall standing at the elevator, a suitcase in one hand and his guitar in the other. I thought this was just going to be some sick dream but seeing him standing there, everything packed away, makes me sick to my stomach. I can't lose Niall. Losing him means that everything that has happened will be for nothing. The other boys are only friends with me because of Ashton and Niall.

"You'll break her heart if you do this Niall."

I hear him scoff, "I can't break it if Ashton already did."

And that's when I lose it. Just like Ashton, it has all bottled up and now I've finally been pushed over the edge, causing the bottle to shatter and all my emotion to fall out, "You stop right there Niall Horan. How can you stand there and act like nothing has happened and you're not the bad guy here? How can you stand there and basically tell everyone that my feelings aren't important? How?"

I watch as he slowly turns around to face me, his eyes watering slightly even though he's acting like there is nothing wrong, "Because you don't care about anyone but him. You don't even care about yourself Milly and I'm sick of standing here and pretending like it's okay. One day you're going to get hurt and I can't stand here to see the aftermath. I'm sorry Milly but I can't get my heart broken too."

"So my heart means nothing to you Ni?"

He shakes his head, taking a step towards me before taking another step backwards, "No Milly. How you feel means everything to me but I just can't watch you get hurt again. If you break then so do I. I'm sorry Mil."

Then I watch as he turns around, grabs his things and walks into the open elevator, the doors closing behind him. And then he's gone. My brother, my laugh when I was in one of my darkest places is gone. The man who sat there and saved me from going away forever is gone. Just like I would have been if he wasn't here.

"Oh Milly, I'm so sorry," Harry mumbles as he steps closer, getting ready to wrap his arms around me.

But instead, I push him away, unable to have another person get close to me, "Don't Harry. I can't right now."

I see the hurt cross across his face for a few seconds before it's replaced with understanding. He knows why I don't want him to come near me. He knows why I don't want any of these boys to get close to me again. Honestly, the heartbreaking from losing Ashton and Niall is worse than how I felt when those doctors told me I couldn't dance anymore. My love for them has caused my heart to break ten thousand times more and I don't know how much more I can handle.

"Mil, come on. We all know Niall over reacts a bit sometimes," Cal says quietly as he steps slowly towards.

"This time it's different though Calum," I sob before slowly walking down the hall to my room, where I slam the door behind me before sliding my back down the smooth wood.

Once my butt comes in contact with the carpeted floor, I wrap my arms around my knees, pulling them closer to my chest, before the sobs finally take over my body. I told myself I would be strong today but I can't. I told myself I would do this on my own but I can't. I told myself that I didn't need anyone there to help save me, but I do.

I need Ashton.

I need Niall.

I need Calum.

I need Luke.

I need Michael.

I need Louis.

I need Harry.

I need Liam.

I need all those boys here beside me if I'm going to get through this but at the rate everything is going, I'll be back to being all on my own by the time we get to the last Australian concert of the tour. I mean, God only knows what will happen next but I know that it's not going to be good. I also know that if everything goes back to the way it was before I met Ashton, I won't be around for very much longer.

I tried to hold when I had no one around me to worry about me and I almost failed.

I tried to hold on when I had the world at my fingertips and I almost failed.

If I go back to that time when there was no one around me to worry about me, I won't almost fail.

I will fail.

But instead of sending a text to all the boys saying goodbye, I'll send letters in the mail. I'll send letters that they won't get for a few days and by the time they do get them, I'll be well gone. Maybe even by the time Niall gets his all the way back in Ireland, my funeral would have come and gone without a single person to care that I was gone.

Just a bunch of unfamiliar faces lying to the world about how much potential I had and how cruel a place this world can be, when honestly, it was them who made it cruel.

But I suppose I'll just have to wait and see what the future has install for me. Until then, I can only dream. 

:( 

It's so sad it makes me want to cry!!!

Not only that but guys, whilst the book isn't finished yet, I've finished writing it all!!! I actually am going to cry guys. The last chapters are just so cute and you're going to love them so much but you're also going to hate them because the book will be over.

Guys, I'm not sure I'm ready for this. I mean, Direct Message has been a part of my life for almost two years now along with Wrong Number and now that they are both going to be finished soon, I'm not sure what to do. It's the end of an era but the start of a new one. 

I'm going to bringing out some new books later on this year, some new ideas and some that you may have seen before. But just remember, my schooling comes first guys, especially since this is Year 12 I'm talking about. But I will find time to update for you guys when I can. Even if it's just once a week.

QOTC: Are you ready for this book to end and some new ones to start? 

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo