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Chapter Eighty Eight

Chapter Eighty Eight

*Ashton's P.O.V*

She looks heartbroken. 

She looks like she will collapse at any moment from the pain in her chest.

I know this is my fault.

If I didn't yell at her, Niall wouldn't have been mad at her and he wouldn't have left. Even if he did leave, I would be there to hold her as she cries. I would be there to wipe away her tears. I would be there to cheer her up when all she feels like doing is crying. I would be there to hold her close to me in hopes that she'll find comfort.

But instead, I can only look at her from the other side of the plane as she lays her head in Luke's lap while they watch a movie.

Ever since I broke Milly's heart, the boys have been getting closer to her while they try and cheer her up. I know I shouldn't be jealous of them but I am. They get to sit next to her and hear her soft, honey-like voice and her beautiful laugh. They just get to be her friend. I can't even do that anymore. 

But I'm hoping that when I sing her that song in two days time that everything will change.

"How's the song going?" Calum whispers as he sits down next to me.

I let out a long sigh before looking down at my notebook, "It's almost finished. Just a few more tweaks to be made then it'll be set."

"What bit are you stuck on?"

"The bridge. I've been working around it because I'm just going to be using the chorus a lot, but the bridge is choosing to be a challenge," I huff as my eyes scan over the many crossed out lines that are the bridge.

There are pieces of us both
That have broken and fallen apart
But they continue shining as we fade away

That's as good as it has gotten and it honestly sucks. My brain hasn't had any trouble coming up with the rest of the song but when it comes to the bridge, the part where I want to talk about how there are pieces of us missing, I just can't think. I want this song to be perfect but at the rates it's going, the song is going to be a dud, just because of those three lines. 

"I like the first line but the rest sucks. Sorry mate," Cal laughs as he gives me a pat on the shoulder.

I let out my own laugh, "Don't worry about it, I feel the exact same."

"No but seriously dude, the rest of it is awesome. You just need to fix those two lines," he says before standing up and walking over to talk to Michael.

The boys haven't been helping me with this song at all. I did ask them but they all looked at me and said 'no'. When I asked them why, they basically said that I had to do it on my own. It's my song to Milly so I have to write it. They said they'd only help if I got no where and it was the night before the concert. 

But I really need to knuckle down and finish this song right now if I ever have a chance at fixing things with Milly. Honestly, she has been my motivator, my inspiration for this song. I already knew she was my inspiration back from when I first started writing it but as I've been writing this song over the past couple of days, I've noticed that every time I think about stopping for a break or just giving up completely, I think about Milly and how crushed I'll be if I don't fix this.

But in all honesty, I usually write at night, when I can sit out on the balcony in the dark, with only the city lights below me and Milly's light from her room a few meters over to the left. Every night, Milly will open the doors to the balcony to let some fresh air in and then go back inside, pick up her guitar and sing a few songs. Listening to her voice has helped me calm down and relax enough that the words can flow around in my head before finding there way onto my paper. 

Wait, hold on...

There are pieces of us both
Under every city light
And they're shining as we fade into the night.

"I did it!" I yell before standing up and doing a little dance.

"What did you do?" Luke asks with a laugh.

"I finished it," I say happily, while placing emphasis on the 'it' in hopes that they will understand.

Milly cannot know about this at all. It will ruin my plan.

"You finished it? What did you...Ohhh," Mikey trails off when he finally realises what I'm talking about, "Good job mate."

God, I hope this is enough. I hope this will be enough to get her back. I hope this will be enough to make her understand how sorry I am. And I hope that when I tell her how I feel, she will tell me that she feels the same because if she doesn't feel the same and I've just made a fool of myself, I'm not sure what I'll do.

But at least having made a fool of myself would be better than never telling her that I love her.

"Hey boys," I hear Milly ask, her voice quiet and broken, "After the Australian tour is finished, where are you going?"

You. She said you. She didn't say we. She asked us where we are going, not where we are all going. Does this mean she doesn't want to be here anymore? Does this mean she wants to go home? Because if she does want to go home, I'm not sure how I'm going to focus. Even if this doesn't go to plan and she doesn't talk to me ever again, if she went home, my brain would be spending too much time wondering if she's still alive.

Because if she wasn't here anymore, I know that I wouldn't be far behind her. 

Awwwwww Ashton :(

My poor baby

Sorry this is up so late guys, I've just been a bit busy today...Okay that was a lie. I went to the movies earlier. So technically I have been busy but I could probably have uploaded this this morning but I didn't have time.

Anyway, short and sweet today guys.

QOTC: What is your favourite movie?

Mine if probably Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them.

Hoenstly, Newt is such a cute character and I really want his Bowtruckle as well guys.

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo