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Chapter Eighty One

Chapter Eighty One

*Milly's P.O.V*

"Here love," Niall says softly, my body automatically flinching at the sound of his voice, "I went and got you new medicine yesterday. They said this should be better for you."

I look over at Niall and into his beautiful blue eyes, my body instantly relaxing. Ever since he yelled at me yesterday, I've had a hard time coping with people speaking. It's not that they scare me, it's just that his words really hurt me and his yelling didn't help. So every time someone speaks, I kind of freak out, hoping that they won't yell at me like he did.

But I guess something good did come out of that terrible moment yesterday. Despite still not wanting to talk or to move, something in my brain made me realise that I need to do those things. I guess it was because of how much I care about him and knowing that pushing him away like that was hurting him so much. I don't want him or any of the other boys to feel that way.

"Thanks," I mumble quietly as I take the pills from Niall's hand and swallowing them dry.

There's a few moments of silence as he stares at me before sitting down beside me on the bed, "How are you feeling today?"

"Meh, the usual," I sigh as I shrug my shoulders. I continue to play with my fingers as we sit in silence before deciding to ask the question that's been plaguing my mind for a while now, "How's Ashton?"

I see Niall stiffen from the corner of my eye and I can't help but regret letting those words out of my mouth. I may not have forgiven Ashton for what he said to me because damn that hurt me more than anyone could realise but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Also, even though he's mad at me, usually if we have a disagreement or a fight and we both know he was in the wrong, he will come and apologise within the hour.

It's been a whole day.

Twenty four hours.

Considering he apologises in less than one, it makes me think that maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought. It also makes me think that maybe he doesn't care about me at all. If his words and actions are anything to go by, then maybe I was better off pushing him away that day on the plane. It would save me a lot of heartache right now.

"I can't believe you are asking about him," Niall growls, his body rigid as he stands up to look at me with eyes full of anger, "For goodness sake Milly! He told you to get over yourself and your mental illness! You don't say that to people and if someone says that to you, you don't forgive them!"

"I never said I was forgiving him Ni," I mumble quietly, my body tense as I wait for him to yell at me.

"Well you're implying it by asking about him Milly! God, I thought you were sane! If someone told me to get over myself and my mental illness, I would not be forgiving it, let alone forgiving it within less than a day!"

"Ni-"

He cuts me off, his harsh voice sending unwanted chills down my spine, "No! Don't 'Ni' me Milly. I can't believe you would forgive him for what he said. He knows how hard this is on you and he still has the audacity to speak to you like he did. How utterly stupid can you be? Or are you just so in love with him that you can't see past his flaws?"

At his words, I look down at my hands which are bright red due clutching them so tightly. I knew me having depression would ruin everything. First, it ruined everything with Ashton and now, because I ruined everything with Ashton, Niall is mad and it's ruining everything with him. This is why I wanted to die. Everything would be much simpler if I wasn't around. Everything would be easy.

"I thought so," he spits before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

And in that moment, my whole life shatters all over again. First Ashton and now Niall. First Ashton yelling at me to get over myself and now Niall yelling at me for being so in love with the curly haired drummer. It's just like an endless yet vicious cycle. Next thing I know, Liam will be in here yelling at me about upsetting Niall and he'll storm out of here like the boys before him.

And after Liam will come Calum, then Luke, then Louis, then Harry and then Michael. 

Then they'll all be gone and I'll be left alone with my thoughts.

"Knock knock. Can I come in?"

Here we go, "Yeah."

I look up just in time to see the door open as Liam walks in, his face unreadable. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. If I could read his face I would be able to tell if he was mad at me and if he had heard what Niall said, but not being able to read his face means that I'm left in suspense thinking about what he's thinking. 

"It's gotta suck hey, having two people you care about a lot yell at you for no reason," he mumbles as he sits down on the bed next to me while playing with his fingers.

He heard what Niall said. Or maybe he didn't and Niall just told him that he yelled at me.

"Yeah it does, but I guess I do kind of deserve it," I sigh.

"You don't deserve. No one deserves it especially not you. You haven't done anything except be you. I think Ashton was just upset because he thought he was losing you and Niall was mad that Ashton said what he did so he took it out on you because you were the closest person to him. He does that a lot, takes his anger out on the closest person he can find."

"I suppose."

The room is silent for a moment as we're both lost in our thoughts before Liam turns to look at me, his eyes bright but full of uncertainty, "I want to do something."

Tilting my head to the side, I feel my eyebrows crinkle in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Just let me show you," he breathes before placing his lips on mine.

DUN DUN DUN!!!!

OH MY LORDY LORD LORD LORD!

Liam you just...you just kissed her! WOW I didn't think you would Lima bean. 

Sorry I didn't update yesterday guys. Tuesday is a busy day for me, I don't finish school until 5:30 and then I don't get home until 7ish. So there just wasn't any time to write my update plus I was exhausted. But here it is.

Now I really need to read some of my book before I dye of suspense. I may only be 60 pages in to the 700 page book but it's just...

If you're wondering, I'm reading Empire of Storm by Sarah J. Maas. It's the fifth one in the Throne of Glass series and it's bloody brilliant. I highly recommend them!! Go buy it now! Read it! Read them all before the next one comes out next year and the T.V series comes out. Actually, I've heard from my friend that this book ends on a pretty big cliffhanger. So I'm going to keep you all updated on my progress in the book and if you know I'm near the end and you suddenly don't see any updates from me for a while, you know why.

I will be in a book coma.

QOTC: Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink?

Hmmmmmmmmm

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo