Direct Message - A.I 5SOS

Chapter Eighty Three

Chapter Eighty Three

*Ashton's P.O.V*

When I heard her singing from behind that wooden door, I couldn't help but stop and listen to her angelic voice. But it wasn't just her voice that caused the tears to well up in my eyes, it was also the song choice. The fact that she chose that song makes me want to run in there and kiss her, using every fiber in my being to keep her close to me as I wrap her up in my arms.

But when the boys came past and saw me sitting outside the door, tears rolling down my face, they decided to intervene. They sent me away so they could go in to talk to her. I honestly wish that was me but I know that she wouldn't forgive me. I know she wouldn't be able to come anywhere near me so I've decided to listen to Niall and stay away.

Not because he told me to stay away but because I know that Milly wouldn't want me to be anywhere near her. 

"Come Ash, I think you need to do something about this. It's getting ridiculous. You and Milly have both been moping around since you're fight and it's taking its toll on all of us," Louis says quietly but in all seriousness as he sits down next to me out on the balcony.

"Well what do I do Lou? She hates me and probably doesn't want to see me at all. Niall hates me because of what I said and you know, I don't blame them. I'm a terrible human being who needs a good whipping," I laugh dryly.

"Dude, you know the only whipping happening around here is you being whipped into shape by Milly," Louis laughs as he gives me a friendly pat on the back, "And you know what? I think Milly will forgive. Sooner rather than later might I add."

I shake my head as I continue to look down at the passing cars that look no bigger than ants form all the way up here, "I doubt it mate."

I know that I wouldn't be forgiving myself for what I said. Heck, I'm not forgiving myself. Ever since those words left my lips in a pile of word vomit, I've been beating myself up and hating every single bit about me. Honestly, I've never felt more disgusted with myself than I have since yesterday. I hate myself more than I did they day when I wanted to end it all.

"Ashton, listen to me. I think you need to come up with some grand gesture to apologise to her but when you do, you need to tell her how you really feel. Tell her that you love her Ash because this is getting a bit out of hand but you can't see that due to you obliviousness."

He sounds exactly like the other three boys that day when I showed them the song I wrote. Wait, that song I wrote still isn't finished but that gives me an idea. Okay, maybe it isn't exactly my idea. Someone else may have come up with the idea and planted it in my head but I have an idea nonetheless. 

"You look like you're deep in thought. I guess I'll leave you alone then," Louis mumbles before standing up and going to walk inside.

"Hold on, Lou, will you be able to grab the rest of my band for me while I grab some stuff from my case? Tell them to meet me out here," I ask him as I stand up, wiping the back of my jeans from sitting on the dirty concrete.

"Yeah sure," he replies before walking inside to find the boys.

I follow after him but into the new room where my things are now kept. Once I open up my suitcase, I rummage through it looking for my notepad and a pen. Once I locate the correct pad of paper and a black pen, I grab my guitar before heading back out to the balcony where I can see the boys are already waiting for me.

"What's up Ash?" Calum asks when he spots me.

"So you remember a while ago I showed you that song I'd written and you said to me that I should sing it to Milly when I tell her how I feel?" I say quickly in one breath. 

"What?" the boys all ask together, confusion etched onto their faces before they burst out laughing. 

I let out a small laugh before taking a seat and opening up my notebook to the page where a few words are scribbled, "A few weeks ago, back when I was at Milly's place, I wrote a song and showed it to you guys. Calum, you said to me that I should finish it and sing it to her when I tell her how I feel. Do you remember that?"

The boys are quite for a moment before Calum sits down next to me, "Yeah I do. That song was pretty good. Why are you bringing it up now though?"

As I look down at the words, I can't help but think about how accurate they are at the moment. She is sleeping alone because I was a douche and said some things were truly awful. My heart is calling out to come home, which is beside her. And while she's lying awake at night, unable to sleep due to her insomnia, I'm trying to find the right words to say that could possibly make this better.

"Earth to Ashton? You still in there?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about these lyrics. I can't help but wonder why they're playing themselves out. It's like when I wrote these lyrics down, our fate was set and my brain new that but wasn't telling me," I sigh as I see a tear drop splat onto the white lined paper. 

"I know it feels that way but maybe the only reason the lyrics are playing out like they are is because they want to be finished and sung out loud," Michael  says to me as he takes a seat on the other side of me, peering over my shoulder at the lyrics on the page. 

"Well they are. They're going to get finished and they're going to be sung."

"When?" Luke asks as he lowers himself down next to Michael.

"When we go to back to Sydney in a week. At our last concert here in Australia I am going to sing it to her and tell her how I feel."

Guys....soooooooooo I have some bad news. Well not bad but it's not great.

Direct Message is almost finished. 

I KNOW!!!

There are only a few more chapters left. I was thinking about it today and I realised that this is where I've been heading this whole time without even realising it. But you know what? It just means that I can start working on another book doesn't it?

But yeah, I'm thinking at least less than 5 chapters. That doesn't include the epilogue by the way. 

Yeah, this is pretty sad actually.

So.......yeah. 

:(

QOTC: If nothing is impossible, is it possible for something to be impossible? 

This one really does my head in not gonna lie.

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo