Twisted Wonderland

Feelings Long Held

You open your eyes to see you're in the dark, inky room. Standing up, you see Jamil alone in the spotlight. Jamil looks to you through the corner of his eyes as you walk to him. The screen in front of you lights up and plays a scene.

A younger version of Jamil walks down a long hallway with two people walking beside him. You guess they're Jamil's parents due to how similar they look.

"Hey, Jamil!" A young Kalim comes running down the hall towards them. "Let's play! I'm gonna beat you!"

The young Jamil folds his arms. "This again, Kalim? You know I'm just going to keep winning. Can we play something else instead?"

Jamil's mother smacks the back of his head. "Jamil! Don't you take that tone with Master Kalim!"

Jamil's father bows his head. "Master Kalim, thank you for playing with our foolish son."

"You're kind enough to share your company." Jamil's mother smiles. "Truly, you've been brought up well."

You look to Jamil. He keeps his gaze focused on the ground.

"My very first memory as a child was seeing my family bow before Kalim and his parents. I couldn't stand the sight of it."

Jamil's parents pull him aside. Jamil's father kneels down to his height. "Listen, Jamil. You must always win twice and lose thrice when competing with Kalim. You must never outdo him at anything."

"I know you're a smart boy." His mother placed a hand to his shoulder. "Surely you understand the position we're in?"

The younger Jamil looks to the ground. "... Fine."

The image on the screen fades. Jamil narrows his eyes. "Kalim's parents were far more important than mine. Therefore, Kalim was more important than me. Which meant... Whether in studies, or exercise, or games, I could never do better than Kalim. I had to keep myself beneath him. I had to pretend I was incapable."

The screen lights up and flashes through various moments with Kalim.

"Jamil, look! I won first prize at the festival dancing contest!"

"I did it! I won, three to two!"

"I scored a 75 on the magic history test you helped me study for, Jamil! What? You got a 70? Hey, it's okay. Cheer up!"

Jamil clenches his fists. "You're not beating me. I'm just letting you win. Look at you, smiling obliviously. Get a clue, you dunderhead!"

You take a step back in surprise at Jamil's harsh words. The screen shows Kalim again. "Me? Housewarden of Scarabia? I don't know what that entails, but sure! You can count on me. Right, Jamil?"

The screen cuts to show Jamil in the Headmage's office.

"Headmage, why are you making Kalim housewarden? He's a poor magician, and more to the point, he's just a sophomore. We've got my hands full cleaning up after him as it is."

Crowley waves him off. "A sophomore housewarden is hardly unheard-of at Night Raven College."

"But..."

"Viper. Providing education comes with costs. And our young friend's family has been quite generous in their support. It places me in a position where I must make certain... compromises. You're a clever student. Surely you understand what that means."

The screen fades again. Jamil runs a hand through his hair. "All the grown-ups tell me the same thing. Surely you're smart enough to understand. But who's trying to understand ME?"

Your heart breaks for him. You start to understand what Jamil is going through. The screen shows Kalim again.

"We'll keep helping each other out, Jamil!"

Jamil shuts his eyes. "Stop."

"I know you'd never betray me, Jamil."

"Just stop!" Jamil cries out. "Kalim, your mere existence means that I... I have to live my whole life deferring everything to you! I-I want..." Jamil collapses to his knees. "I want to be number one, too."

The screen fades and disappears. You kneel beside him, placing a hand to his shoulder. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with this alone. You shouldn't have to hold back just because of someone's status."

Jamil shakes his head. "You don't know what it's like. If I'm ever ahead of Kalim, that brings shame on my family."

"I don't think Kalim really cares if you're better than him at anything. He just wants to be your friend."

Jamil's shoulders slump. "I guess I made a pretty big mess of things, didn't I?"

You smile kindly. "Maybe just a little."

The corners of Jamil's lips quirk into a small smile. He looks into your eyes. "Y/N. I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. I-"

You wrap Jamil in a hug. "It's okay. We all make mistakes. We just got to learn from them."

Jamil smiles and returns your hug. "Thank you."