February 17th
The saddest thing
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"...And do you know the worst thing!? The saddest thing about it all?! He had to go through it alone, no one was there, no one was with him whilst he lay bleeding out, whilst he lay dying, on the ground! It was just him, laying there in agony, alone."
Peter stopped dead, swallowing hard, before sitting down heavily on Susan's bed, burying his head in his hands. "Sorry." He murmured.
Susan sighed, walking over and sitting beside him. "Don't apologise." She told him. "Please don't apologise."
Peter took a deep, shaky breath. "No, I am," He sighed. "It's just a lot."
"I know Peter," Susan reassured him. "And come on, it's understandable."
Peter hesitated, glancing up at her. "I was supposed to protect him." He all but whispered.
"You did Peter, you did." Susan breathed.
"How did I?" Peter choked. "He got hurt, he nearly died, how is that me protecting him?"
"From what I've heard, you couldn't of stopped him even if you wanted to." Susan told him. "You know what Edmunds like, when he sets his mind to something, there's nothing anyone can do about it."
"I still should've been looking out for him."
"I'm sure you were." Susan said.
"I should've made sure he left."
"There's no way you could've done that." Susan replied, shaking her head. "You were in the middle of leading an army Peter, please stop blaming yourself."
Peter sighed and turned his head to stare at the floor. "I just wish it had never happened." He whispered.
Susan nodded slowly. "I know, we all do." She said. "I wish it had never happened, Lucy wishes it had never happened, I'm sure even Edmund does-"
"No."
Edmund made them both jump when he announced himself, stood in between the tent flaps, wrapped in a blanket and looking half asleep.
"I'm glad it happened." He added. "It would've been Peter if it wasn't me."
Despite what Edmund had just said, Peter decided to ignore it, and quickly stood. "Ed you shouldn't be up." He said, hurrying over and gripping his brothers shoulders.
Edmund hesitated. "I woke up and you were gone." He said slowly. "Didn't know where you were."
"I'm right here." Peter said firmly, catching the flicker of fear that was in his brother's eyes. "I promise."
Edmund nodded slowly, but didn't say anything in reply.
"Come on," Peter murmured, wrapping an arm around Edmunds shoulders. "Back to bed."
Edmund didn't argue.
"See you later Su?" Peter murmured.
Susan nodded and smiled. "See you later."
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