The first time I saw Jaehyun was like a lapse on time. I had had a terrible day. I don't remember exactly why. Maybe because my boss was drowning me with work, or because I had forgot to deliver a homework on university, or even because I had no money to pay my rent that month. The only thing I can remember is that when my eyes laid on him, that day seemed to have started again.
He was there, sitting in a bench while reading a book and listening to music. In front of him, a field full of dandelions was painting the ground as if the winter had switched turns with the summer. I used to pass by that field every day by bus, enjoying watching the flowers bloom, but right in that day, they were looking perfect. My eyes spotted him through the window for a second before the sunlight of afternoon flashed on me when the bus stopped. I swinged side to side, trying to see who was sitting there. The last person was leaving when I suddenly stood up, going down the bus.
It wasn't even my stop, and I only noticed what I had done when the bus went away, leaving me in that place. The sky was orange and the trees were black in the mountains. I have never seen such beautiful view until that day. I was confused. I had left the bus, and the next one would come in an hour. There was only that guy sitting on the bench, who I never saw before, and even so, he caught my attention right away.
-Excuse me. You let it fall. - I say, handing him a piece of paper with many things written next to many math counts. He looks at me and smiles taking the paper.
-Oh. Thank you. I'm trying to focus on study, but turns out I'm just listening to music. - He jokes, and I chuckle.
-Yeah, I know how it is. - I say back. A silence grows between us as we stare at each other. My heart jumps inside my chest trying to think on something to say to him, but I get speechless.
-Uhm... - He lets out a low laugh, deviating his gaze. - I never saw you here before. Are you from here? - He starts a conversation, and I get even more nervous. What's happening to me?
-Yes, I... I pass by this park every day, but today I left work later. You know, sometimes our boss is having a bad day and wants us to have a bad day too. - I say, and he laughs. His smile is beautiful with the cute dimples on his cheek.
-I know that very well. What happened? Did he yell at you? - He asks, and I stare at him for a second. Is he interested on my concerns? He notices my hesitance and clears his throat. - If you want to have a seat and talk. I mean, I know I won't study anyway, and if you have free time, why not? I'm Jaehyun, by the way.
Jaehyun was always like that. He was open for the good things in life. He wasn't afraid of the new. He would always give a chance for what he wanted, and would jump in blindfolded. I, on the other hand, am not like that. I always plan my next step so I cannot be surprised by the worst. I had a big wall around my heart, but he was able to climb it easily. In so little time, I saw myself letting him in, and at the same time, entering his world too.
The beauty in his soul made me fall in love. His laughs, his smiles, his affection, his heat. Everything attracted me closer to him. He showed me the best I could ever experience in life, and how it could be beautiful with simple things. With him. Even on rainy days, cold nights and boring work shifts, he would find a way to make it magical. Just like those dandelions, he was light and peaceful, with his own details.
However, dandelions also lose themselves when a strong wind comes.
-What are you looking at? - I asked, hugging his arm.
-Nothing, nothing. Let's go. I'm hungry. - He laughs, pulling me by my hand, but before I could go away, my eyes widen noticing what he was looking at.
Engagement rings.
I hadn't thought about the next step for us. Actually, I didn't think there would be a next step, and somehow, it made me up all night. I surely loved Jaehyun, and that's what was making it even scarier. What could hurt more than seeing an end to someone we are so attached? I didn't know if I was ready for it. I didn't know if he was ready for me. To see my flaws and getting tired of them.
