Persona 5 - The Jester's Point Of View

Scene 182

Some things just look very tempting in the end… For them it was something on their nightstand once they had managed to sit up again and turning their head around for a moment or two. Though one item sitting on its surface was a small bottle filled with pills. And they were eyeing it carefully. It was just… There, right in sight, ready to be grabbed at any moment. It wasn’t running away, wasn’t in a hurry. It was right in sight. They could grab it easily. And it was oh so tempting. 

The prescribed doses was one per day, nothing more and nothing less. Taking more than one could be fatal. The end result… It was something one could easily imagine what would happen. But what other choice did they have at that point? They were too much of a coward for anything else. Pills were the only method on how they could finally settle this. It would be better if they were just gone, wouldn’t it? They had heard it so many times before after all… Maybe in the end there was some truth behind it. Maybe they were right in the end. It was all coming back to them in one go. Ever since that Palace, their Palace… Their utmost desires are to just destroy everyone, seek out anybody and give them a taste of their own medicine. It was terrifying to even have those thoughts… They were not much better than Ishikawa, were they? They were just as rotten, as much of a pitiful existence… They need to be gone.

‘Do it.’

‘Don’t be a coward and just go for it.’

‘Do you really think that you have a right to exist?’

‘Do it and make everyone’s lives easier. No one wants you here.’

‘No one likes you.’

‘No one is here for you.’

‘No one will care if you’re gone. Go rot in hell!’ 

‘You’ll be rotting away inside your room. No one will even notice.’

It all came back into their mind. Just like with the rails back then. Why were they saved? Why had Ann reached out for them and stopped them? This was a mistake… But who could blame her? She hadn’t noticed and she would never know. And maybe they were to blame for it as well. After all, they had done so in a space with several people around. Yeah, people. This time it was different however.

They were in their room, all by themself, no one passing by, no one entering. Mother had left for her job at this point, so she wouldn’t notice either. They were all by themself. If anything this was the perfect chance, an opportunity given to them to just end it all. Something they really should have done a long, long time ago. But now they can finally do it. Finally, after taking ever so long and drawing it out, this was their chance to just go for it. ‘Just do it.’ – And they weren’t planning on backing out this time. It didn’t matter anyways… 

So their hand stretched itself out, fingers ready to go for the grabbing. The bottle was within reach, just a little bit further and they finally had it in their hands. Then all it would take was opening it and swallowing it all whole without anything else. They should be able to do just that. Gulp it all down in one go and it will all be over… Everything. They were just two steps away. Everything will be over. Everyone will be free from them. That’s how this was supposed to be… It is how things are supposed to— 

“Aww, is this really your ending?” Suddenly, a voice interrupted them from one moment to the next. It got Lukanja out of this trance and made them nearly fall over. Their hand just missed the bottle right next to them and grabbed the air before falling down onto the sheets. It was also then where they heard another noise, something poking them constantly. Their gaze turned, only to spot… Ole? Yeah, the cat. He was there and moving his paw up and down while letting out loud meows. A cat’s expression was never easy to read yet he didn’t stop the pawing and meowing. The meows especially were ear piercing, almost unbearable to listen to. Could a cat’s voice even crack? 

To calm him down they suddenly reached out with one hand, softly stroking over the fur on his head. Their hand moved slowly, weakly, almost forced. Yet if it kept him quiet then they would do so. And it seemed to somewhat work, the cat suddenly stopping. Although, he didn’t sit down. No, he was looking up at them instead, eyes not as wide as they should be. Did he know? … Yeah, he did. He wasn’t stupid. He would catch on. 

And yet, there was also the voice… No need to call it a voice. It was Pipistrello with its signature tone being all over the place. It sounded rather careless yet they didn’t pay attention too much. They couldn’t bring themself to care. Who knew that it would be the last one they would talk to… How ironic. “Yeah…” They then finally responded once more reaching out to the bottle with their free hand while trying to keep Ole calm. 

“Are you sure you want to let the credits roll there?”

“Yeah.”

“So overdramatic.”

“Maybe.”

“I never expected you to be the type to give in so easily.”

They grabbed the bottle, finally. “Then you thought wrong. Do you have anything to tell me?”

“Last words? From me? Let’s see…” The being started to think, or pretend to think. They heard the long stretched ‘hmm’ in their ears after all. Not just that but the way Ole was looking up at them was just… It made them uncomfortable. But it had to be done. They made up their mind after all. And nothing—  “Looks like the boy’s efforts will be for naught. 

Suddenly, when that was said, they dropped it. The bottle was falling down and crashed onto the ground beneath, into tiny pieces. It was just a quick crash and the sound would soon fade, yet it was sudden. They didn’t know what to say, what they had just heard. ‘Boy’... There was only one person Pipistrello called ‘boy’ directly!

“If that’s how it will be, then–” It continued, or was about to yet out of panic they didn’t let it finish. Hearing that alone was a shock. They hadn’t expected anything so this was surprising. No, shocking in every way.

“What do you mean!?” They asked, noticing that their voice was becoming a little louder than before. Even Ole noticed, given that his ears were twitching like crazy all of a sudden.

A quick ’Oho?’ filled the air“. They could tell that the entity was rather amused by this question rather than surprised. And therefore it suggested: “If you wish to know, why not  go and check it out for yourself? You still recall where your Palace is, don’t you?”

Palace? So he has gone there? O… On his own!? But why!? Why did he even bother with them!? This was just— Ah, they had no words! They were in utter disbelief! “D… Don't tell me… Akechi is–”

“You understand, don't you?” Pipistrello asked. And despite them not seeing it, they could feel its expression on their skin. It was almost mocking, trying to get under their skin, yet also knowing what turmoil was going on inside of them. The second guessing, the constant thoughts in their mind, the element of… Shock. Yeah, shock. That’s all it was in the end. Just a sudden moment of shock. They didn’t know what to say, what to think. And yet, at the same time, it was all just… Well… Just… 

“Y… Yeah… I get it…” They responded, noticing just how they were suddenly clutching onto their blanket. They didn’t want to believe it, finding it hard to but… In the off chance that this was the case… 

Their mind is a mess. It always is. And they didn’t know what to do or say here. But, as abrupt as it was, there was only one thing they could do here… And they knew what that was.