I love you
I love you I love you I love you
I love you so much that the very idea that you don't love me as much as I love you makes me want to die
And you being like this triggers something in me that makes me spiral so fast
I know that makes me a bad girlfriend and a bad friend but I can't help it
I read the letters you wrote me over and over and over until I can practically recite them from memory
I'm sorry for being depressed
I'm sorry for needing validation all the time
I know it's pathetic but I've been this way my entire life, how else do you think I qualified for the Olympics at 16? Because I need validation so so bad, validation that my pain is real and I'm worthy and good enough and deserve love and I'll go to so many lengths to get it
I'm painfully self aware, I know how bad it is
I just don't know how to stop.
